sometimes you just need a little dose of tough love.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Saturday, October 30, 2010
the proposal
S&T get engaged: part II
once again, this little blog has served as somewhat of a consistent documentation piece for me for the last four years, so I figured it only natural to include one of the most momentous pieces of my life. it's so interesting, puzzling, (albeit embarrassing) to witness the metamorphoses that has taken place on these pages. if you had told me just one year ago that i would be writing about my own impending marriage, i would've fallen right out of my chair! dr. seuss was right, "oh the places you'll go"
okay. cue to cut out the self contemplation. i'll get to the good stuff!
the first thing everyone has asked me, is "did you have any idea that he was going to propose?" the answer is NOOOO WAY! i was absolutely, truly SHOCKED. there have been very few times in my life where i have been utterly surprised (my analytical side usually does the foreshadowing) but in this case, theron pfeifer pulled it off.
we were on our way to dallas for the cotton bowl game (baylor vs. tech) and theron suggested that on our way to dallas we have dinner at the stagecoach inn in salado. (now i can recollect wanting to change into a t-shirt and shorts thinking we were just on a road trip, but theron saying, "well you might want to keep your dress on!") should've tipped me off, but i just thought he wanted to have a really nice dinner (he's into spontaneous romanticism - much more than even me if you can believe it.)
we drove to salado and had a table waiting for us with our sweet-as-could-be waitress melody. if you haven't been to this restaurant, you must! the food is excellent and the staff recites the menu from memory...not to mention the place has been running since 1860 and it is the definition of southern, homespun charm.
after a nice dinner, we came out on the two story, sweeping porch (SO TARA-LIKE) and theron declared, "let's go sit on that porch and watch the sun go down."
"well i really want to get on the road, it's getting really late and we still have to get to dallas tonight."
"come on, babe, i really want to go sit on those rocking chairs."
"THEROOOON, i'm cold and i don't really want to just sit on the porch and soak it all in. LET'S GO!"
this went on for a few minutes (little did i know the man was trying to ask me to marry him) and finally he just lays it all out on the line.
"shannan. i have to ask you something. (GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE) i've loved you from the moment i saw you and i want to ask you to be my wife and make me the happiest man in the world. i want to take care of you and i want to build a life with you...and a whole lot of other stuff that i'll keep to myself ;) you get the point.
i screamed yes without a moment's hesitation and then i ripped open that infamous tiffany's box (that i secretly prayed for years i'd always see when this occasion presented itself, but never really allowed myself to believe.) we then walked through the streets of salado as if we were walking on clouds and called all of our friends and family. of course everyone knew except for me and he had been scheming with my father for weeks. he told me later that night that my dad had called him earlier that day to ask if he was going to "pull the trigger." HOW LOVELY.
we then went on to dallas where we celebrated the engagement all weekend long and had a blast stuffing our faces at the state fair, galavanting around downtown ft. worth, and spending time with our loved ones. it will always be a weekend that i will treasure and remember forever. now the wedding planning shall commence! can't wait 'till i get to be mrs. pfeifer!!!!!!!!!!!
riding the largest amusement ride in the western hemisphere....that great big 'ol ferris wheel at the state fair! (and very happy to be newly engaged.)
celebratory dinner at the reata with these tamales that i would die for.
on our way back to SA, we stopped in salado to recreate the engagement. ha yes, we're that cool. here's the handsome man at the scene of the crime.
i'll love this porch always...
yep, we're gettin' married!
once again, this little blog has served as somewhat of a consistent documentation piece for me for the last four years, so I figured it only natural to include one of the most momentous pieces of my life. it's so interesting, puzzling, (albeit embarrassing) to witness the metamorphoses that has taken place on these pages. if you had told me just one year ago that i would be writing about my own impending marriage, i would've fallen right out of my chair! dr. seuss was right, "oh the places you'll go"
okay. cue to cut out the self contemplation. i'll get to the good stuff!
the first thing everyone has asked me, is "did you have any idea that he was going to propose?" the answer is NOOOO WAY! i was absolutely, truly SHOCKED. there have been very few times in my life where i have been utterly surprised (my analytical side usually does the foreshadowing) but in this case, theron pfeifer pulled it off.
we were on our way to dallas for the cotton bowl game (baylor vs. tech) and theron suggested that on our way to dallas we have dinner at the stagecoach inn in salado. (now i can recollect wanting to change into a t-shirt and shorts thinking we were just on a road trip, but theron saying, "well you might want to keep your dress on!") should've tipped me off, but i just thought he wanted to have a really nice dinner (he's into spontaneous romanticism - much more than even me if you can believe it.)
we drove to salado and had a table waiting for us with our sweet-as-could-be waitress melody. if you haven't been to this restaurant, you must! the food is excellent and the staff recites the menu from memory...not to mention the place has been running since 1860 and it is the definition of southern, homespun charm.
after a nice dinner, we came out on the two story, sweeping porch (SO TARA-LIKE) and theron declared, "let's go sit on that porch and watch the sun go down."
"well i really want to get on the road, it's getting really late and we still have to get to dallas tonight."
"come on, babe, i really want to go sit on those rocking chairs."
"THEROOOON, i'm cold and i don't really want to just sit on the porch and soak it all in. LET'S GO!"
this went on for a few minutes (little did i know the man was trying to ask me to marry him) and finally he just lays it all out on the line.
"shannan. i have to ask you something. (GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE) i've loved you from the moment i saw you and i want to ask you to be my wife and make me the happiest man in the world. i want to take care of you and i want to build a life with you...and a whole lot of other stuff that i'll keep to myself ;) you get the point.
i screamed yes without a moment's hesitation and then i ripped open that infamous tiffany's box (that i secretly prayed for years i'd always see when this occasion presented itself, but never really allowed myself to believe.) we then walked through the streets of salado as if we were walking on clouds and called all of our friends and family. of course everyone knew except for me and he had been scheming with my father for weeks. he told me later that night that my dad had called him earlier that day to ask if he was going to "pull the trigger." HOW LOVELY.
we then went on to dallas where we celebrated the engagement all weekend long and had a blast stuffing our faces at the state fair, galavanting around downtown ft. worth, and spending time with our loved ones. it will always be a weekend that i will treasure and remember forever. now the wedding planning shall commence! can't wait 'till i get to be mrs. pfeifer!!!!!!!!!!!
riding the largest amusement ride in the western hemisphere....that great big 'ol ferris wheel at the state fair! (and very happy to be newly engaged.)
celebratory dinner at the reata with these tamales that i would die for.
on our way back to SA, we stopped in salado to recreate the engagement. ha yes, we're that cool. here's the handsome man at the scene of the crime.
i'll love this porch always...
yep, we're gettin' married!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
here lately...
well guys, if your assumption was that i've been a little busy, you would be CORRECT! i truly hate letting this blog collect dust; more for my sake, than yours. as i've said a million times, blogging is a way for me to keep track of my life and for some reason, it's oddly soothing. believe me, i don't do it because i think you're enthralled with my life. ha.
for those of you who are close to me, you know that this whole teaching gig has basically consumed my life. it seems as though there is a never ending stream of things to grade, mountains of paperwork, individualized plans to create, meetings to attend, and constant pressure from parents. i put a lot of added pressure on myself as well because i keep telling myself that i am responsible for these kids cognitive development, getting them to read, building their educational foundation...imagine that in a setting with english AND spanish speakers in a classroom without walls or doors and kids who are absolutely out of control. i'd be lying if i said that i wasn't really struggling right now with whether public education was the right career path for me.
i am usually always OVERLY optimistic and have ALWAYS seen the bright side of things, but here recently, this has not been the case. i've been praying a lot that God would change my heart toward these obstacles that i face and that i would just be cognizant of the fact that "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." this is one of those times in my life where God is just going to have to work through me and I will have to place reliance on his plan and not my own abilities.
in other news, i grrrrrrrreatly miss my manfriend. he is off sailing the seas and workin' hard for the money, but his presence is sorely missed back here on the home front. theron's long absences have made me realize how tough it must be for military wives who have to cope with deployment. though being in a relationship with an oil company man is not for the faint at heart, this one is worth it!
to all of my friends who may stumble across this, i love you dearly and i think of you often! GOD BLESS!
for those of you who are close to me, you know that this whole teaching gig has basically consumed my life. it seems as though there is a never ending stream of things to grade, mountains of paperwork, individualized plans to create, meetings to attend, and constant pressure from parents. i put a lot of added pressure on myself as well because i keep telling myself that i am responsible for these kids cognitive development, getting them to read, building their educational foundation...imagine that in a setting with english AND spanish speakers in a classroom without walls or doors and kids who are absolutely out of control. i'd be lying if i said that i wasn't really struggling right now with whether public education was the right career path for me.
i am usually always OVERLY optimistic and have ALWAYS seen the bright side of things, but here recently, this has not been the case. i've been praying a lot that God would change my heart toward these obstacles that i face and that i would just be cognizant of the fact that "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." this is one of those times in my life where God is just going to have to work through me and I will have to place reliance on his plan and not my own abilities.
in other news, i grrrrrrrreatly miss my manfriend. he is off sailing the seas and workin' hard for the money, but his presence is sorely missed back here on the home front. theron's long absences have made me realize how tough it must be for military wives who have to cope with deployment. though being in a relationship with an oil company man is not for the faint at heart, this one is worth it!
to all of my friends who may stumble across this, i love you dearly and i think of you often! GOD BLESS!
Monday, April 19, 2010
it's the little things in life...
i am convinced they matter most. sometimes it's just a matter of noticing the little things. if you don't stop and consciously look around, you could miss it...and that would be a tragic thing.
i, for one, woke up this morning just as happy as a clam on cloud nine because i had a weekend comprised of these little things i'm referring to. to give you some idea of what i'm talking about, i'll give you an attempt at a consolidated run down:
friday night, my friend tabitha and i saw the new tyler perry film (which was great) and then we spontaneously decided to go to bodean's place to do some boot scooting (have i mentioned how much i love to dance? when i'm spinning around a dance floor, it's like nothing else in the world matters.) tab and i were famished after hours of dancing so we headed to las palapas for some greasy late night mexican food. we talked and talked and ate enough chips and salsa to feed a small country, but guess what happened when we asked for the check? our waitress announced that the people in the booth behind us had already taken care of it! when we turned around to graciously thank our philanthropists, the mysterious strangers had vanished. i don't know if this has ever happened to you, but wow, it's small, but so profound.
saturday morning i woke up to a symphonic thunderstorm and declared that this was a morning better spent under the covers. i had a wonderful morning sleeping in and waking in my perfect REM cycle (never underestimate this!) a few moments after waking up, i got an unexpected call asking to have lunch with my bud tyler. we went and had burgers @ momak's (home of texas monthly's #19 best burger!) and had the best conversation! at the end of lunch, tyler says, "miss sowder, i know you loooooooove them sad country songs, but i've been thinkin...we have GOT to break you of your keith whitley-gary stewart maudlin episodes." for the record, it is NOT that bad. tyler continued, "i have devised a list of songs for you that are going to do you a world of good." i went home with tyler's bent up index card and downloaded all the tracks and he was right - dierks & patty griffin's "beautiful world" and tenth avenue north's "by your side" are full of the best encouragement. tyler, you're a good friend...and it is always a pleasure to spend an afternoon with an aggie boy whose mama raised him right!
i spent saturday night with some great company tracing the path along the river walk and having the most excellent dinner at the iron cactus! if you haven't been, you need to check it out! remember, i never endorse anything unless i totally believe in it. i'm willing to put money down that this place has the best margarita on the river. after dinner, we went to see the critically acclaimed san antonio rose live at the historic aztec theatre. this show traces country music from the 1920s to the 1980s and while the whole thing screams branson and we were about 40 years younger than every single person in the audience, i LOVED every minute of it! what is not to love about a whole cast of characters wearing scully shirts and singing conway, tammy, george, hank, merle, and lefty? i admit, not everyone's idea of a rip roaring good time, but i was in hog heaven! i'm bound and determined to get my grandmother frances down here for this spectacle.
sunday, i woke up and went to my life group and service at the best church in the world (ok that's presumptuous)! i say "best church in the world" because this church has meant so much to me personally and it has really changed my life. i NEVER thought i would go to a mega church and the thought of attending the biggest church in san antonio frankly scared the hell out of me (is it ok to say "hell" when talking about church? well, sometimes i'm not PC, but i'm real and i think God knows my heart.) the point is, going to a church that looks like a small college campus can be quite daunting, but CBC is just the opposite. the people i have met here are the warmest, kindest, most joyful souls i have ever known. this sunday was just great because the legendary dennis jernigan recorded a live CD and chris' message on romans and the inseparability from the love of God was just what i needed. if you ever want to come to church with me, please let me know!!!
i capped off the weekend with an afternoon barbecue, visiting my old college room mate alexis, watching the acm's, and finding out that one of my best friends got engaged - CONGRATULATIONS TO JESSICA & BRANDON! we'll be getting ready for a big, beautiful wedding in st. louis, missouri!
nothing terribly exciting of course, but i've found a lot of happiness in the intricacy of the smallest things. i know you could care less about what i did for the weekend and you're right, it doesn't really matter. i'm just an ordinary girl trying to live life the best way that i know how, but i do know that life is full of goodness and it's too short to be wasted. i know it sounds incredibly delusional and like i must be popping prozac at an alarming rate, but my message is genuine: do not let your heart become embittered, resentful, scarred, or held captive because not only can you be set free from that, but quite frankly, why would you want to live like that anyway?
i, for one, woke up this morning just as happy as a clam on cloud nine because i had a weekend comprised of these little things i'm referring to. to give you some idea of what i'm talking about, i'll give you an attempt at a consolidated run down:
friday night, my friend tabitha and i saw the new tyler perry film (which was great) and then we spontaneously decided to go to bodean's place to do some boot scooting (have i mentioned how much i love to dance? when i'm spinning around a dance floor, it's like nothing else in the world matters.) tab and i were famished after hours of dancing so we headed to las palapas for some greasy late night mexican food. we talked and talked and ate enough chips and salsa to feed a small country, but guess what happened when we asked for the check? our waitress announced that the people in the booth behind us had already taken care of it! when we turned around to graciously thank our philanthropists, the mysterious strangers had vanished. i don't know if this has ever happened to you, but wow, it's small, but so profound.
saturday morning i woke up to a symphonic thunderstorm and declared that this was a morning better spent under the covers. i had a wonderful morning sleeping in and waking in my perfect REM cycle (never underestimate this!) a few moments after waking up, i got an unexpected call asking to have lunch with my bud tyler. we went and had burgers @ momak's (home of texas monthly's #19 best burger!) and had the best conversation! at the end of lunch, tyler says, "miss sowder, i know you loooooooove them sad country songs, but i've been thinkin...we have GOT to break you of your keith whitley-gary stewart maudlin episodes." for the record, it is NOT that bad. tyler continued, "i have devised a list of songs for you that are going to do you a world of good." i went home with tyler's bent up index card and downloaded all the tracks and he was right - dierks & patty griffin's "beautiful world" and tenth avenue north's "by your side" are full of the best encouragement. tyler, you're a good friend...and it is always a pleasure to spend an afternoon with an aggie boy whose mama raised him right!
i spent saturday night with some great company tracing the path along the river walk and having the most excellent dinner at the iron cactus! if you haven't been, you need to check it out! remember, i never endorse anything unless i totally believe in it. i'm willing to put money down that this place has the best margarita on the river. after dinner, we went to see the critically acclaimed san antonio rose live at the historic aztec theatre. this show traces country music from the 1920s to the 1980s and while the whole thing screams branson and we were about 40 years younger than every single person in the audience, i LOVED every minute of it! what is not to love about a whole cast of characters wearing scully shirts and singing conway, tammy, george, hank, merle, and lefty? i admit, not everyone's idea of a rip roaring good time, but i was in hog heaven! i'm bound and determined to get my grandmother frances down here for this spectacle.
sunday, i woke up and went to my life group and service at the best church in the world (ok that's presumptuous)! i say "best church in the world" because this church has meant so much to me personally and it has really changed my life. i NEVER thought i would go to a mega church and the thought of attending the biggest church in san antonio frankly scared the hell out of me (is it ok to say "hell" when talking about church? well, sometimes i'm not PC, but i'm real and i think God knows my heart.) the point is, going to a church that looks like a small college campus can be quite daunting, but CBC is just the opposite. the people i have met here are the warmest, kindest, most joyful souls i have ever known. this sunday was just great because the legendary dennis jernigan recorded a live CD and chris' message on romans and the inseparability from the love of God was just what i needed. if you ever want to come to church with me, please let me know!!!
i capped off the weekend with an afternoon barbecue, visiting my old college room mate alexis, watching the acm's, and finding out that one of my best friends got engaged - CONGRATULATIONS TO JESSICA & BRANDON! we'll be getting ready for a big, beautiful wedding in st. louis, missouri!
nothing terribly exciting of course, but i've found a lot of happiness in the intricacy of the smallest things. i know you could care less about what i did for the weekend and you're right, it doesn't really matter. i'm just an ordinary girl trying to live life the best way that i know how, but i do know that life is full of goodness and it's too short to be wasted. i know it sounds incredibly delusional and like i must be popping prozac at an alarming rate, but my message is genuine: do not let your heart become embittered, resentful, scarred, or held captive because not only can you be set free from that, but quite frankly, why would you want to live like that anyway?
Monday, January 4, 2010
great motivation
i receive lots of "enlightening" emails (chain letters, stuff my grandmother finds inspiring, newsletters, etc.) and most of them go unread, but i actually opened one up this morning and i have to say, it's good stuff.
the following is an excerpt from teddy roosevelt's "citizenship in a republic" speech at the sorbonne in paris, france on april 23, 1910.
"it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
i knew i always liked you, teddy.
the following is an excerpt from teddy roosevelt's "citizenship in a republic" speech at the sorbonne in paris, france on april 23, 1910.
"it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
i knew i always liked you, teddy.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
give thanks
since thanksgiving is tomorrow, i think i owe it to the holiday and to myself to state that i'm just so thankful for the things in my life.
i have been given so, so much and when i really stop and take stock of it all, i am astounded. i'm not talking about material bs either; as i get older, i realize that none of that matters so much. in fact, i'm learning that when you own a lot of stuff it can almost be enslaving. what i'm thankful for this year is all so much more than that:
a) i'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ. He's been so faithful to me this year. i have leaned on Him and i have sought after Him and He's proven time and time again that He's in control. i have learned the true meaning of romans 5:3-5 in that it's absolutely true that "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
b) i'm thankful for my family. my family is an unwavering system of support and love and i am so thankful for each and every one of them. you don't have any choice in regards to what family you're born into, so i know that i am fortunate to have this family of mine - i'm going to try to be more conscious of that.
c) i'm thankful for my friends. my friends are just good, good people. you know this old song? i don't know what i did to deserve it, but that's the kind of people they are. couldn't do it without 'em.
d) i'm thankful for lessons learned. i always learn them the hard way, but that wisdom gained is invaluable.
it's true, life is just good. i'm happy and i'm at peace with where i'm at on this journey.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
thanksgiving with my kiddos (who i'm also INFINITELY thankful for.)
i have been given so, so much and when i really stop and take stock of it all, i am astounded. i'm not talking about material bs either; as i get older, i realize that none of that matters so much. in fact, i'm learning that when you own a lot of stuff it can almost be enslaving. what i'm thankful for this year is all so much more than that:
a) i'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ. He's been so faithful to me this year. i have leaned on Him and i have sought after Him and He's proven time and time again that He's in control. i have learned the true meaning of romans 5:3-5 in that it's absolutely true that "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
b) i'm thankful for my family. my family is an unwavering system of support and love and i am so thankful for each and every one of them. you don't have any choice in regards to what family you're born into, so i know that i am fortunate to have this family of mine - i'm going to try to be more conscious of that.
c) i'm thankful for my friends. my friends are just good, good people. you know this old song? i don't know what i did to deserve it, but that's the kind of people they are. couldn't do it without 'em.
d) i'm thankful for lessons learned. i always learn them the hard way, but that wisdom gained is invaluable.
it's true, life is just good. i'm happy and i'm at peace with where i'm at on this journey.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
thanksgiving with my kiddos (who i'm also INFINITELY thankful for.)
Friday, October 30, 2009
best thing anyone's ever said to me
first of all let's clarify. if you read the time stamp on this post it will read friday, 9:28 p.m. blogging on a friday night? yep, i'm that cool. all within good reason friends, i was hangin' out with ryan freakin' bingham last night and having the time of my life so i'm beat esta noche. (we'll talk about ryan in another post, because i definitely want to extrapolate on that topic...)
tonight though, i can't stop thinking about something that our secretary said to me at work today. her name is teresa and she doesn't really even know me that well, but i always try to pay her a complement and tell her she looks pretty or ask about her grandkids, but really, that's the extent of our relationship.
i was walking down the hall this morning and she touched me on the shoulder, and said (in her thick cajun dialect - she's from the bayou country), "shannan, i was thinkin' about it just now, and you are as sweet as honey and you are the most optimistic person i have ever met, but i would never ever mess with you. i think when you make up your mind or somebody does you wrong, you're a force to be reckoned with. come to think of it, you're what i call a steel magnolia. delicate as a magnolia, but tough as steel."
i don't know why that meant so much to me, but it did. i have always felt like i wasn't strong enough, but to hear someone else recognize such an inner-fortitude in me was extremely gratifying. i've been going through a rough time recently and i've been listening to this old dolly parton song on repeat, which i think really explains a lot about who i am. fall hard, but pick yourself back up. ironically, this song has a line in it about being a steel magnolia:
gentle as the sweet magnolia
strong as steel, her faith and pride
she's an everlasting shoulder
she's the leaning post of life
she hurts deep and when she weeps
she's just as fragile as a child
and she's a sparrow when she's broken
but she's an eagle when she flies
i'll include a cheesy video showcasing dolly since i do love her so very much:
tonight though, i can't stop thinking about something that our secretary said to me at work today. her name is teresa and she doesn't really even know me that well, but i always try to pay her a complement and tell her she looks pretty or ask about her grandkids, but really, that's the extent of our relationship.
i was walking down the hall this morning and she touched me on the shoulder, and said (in her thick cajun dialect - she's from the bayou country), "shannan, i was thinkin' about it just now, and you are as sweet as honey and you are the most optimistic person i have ever met, but i would never ever mess with you. i think when you make up your mind or somebody does you wrong, you're a force to be reckoned with. come to think of it, you're what i call a steel magnolia. delicate as a magnolia, but tough as steel."
i don't know why that meant so much to me, but it did. i have always felt like i wasn't strong enough, but to hear someone else recognize such an inner-fortitude in me was extremely gratifying. i've been going through a rough time recently and i've been listening to this old dolly parton song on repeat, which i think really explains a lot about who i am. fall hard, but pick yourself back up. ironically, this song has a line in it about being a steel magnolia:
gentle as the sweet magnolia
strong as steel, her faith and pride
she's an everlasting shoulder
she's the leaning post of life
she hurts deep and when she weeps
she's just as fragile as a child
and she's a sparrow when she's broken
but she's an eagle when she flies
i'll include a cheesy video showcasing dolly since i do love her so very much:
Thursday, August 20, 2009
gratitude for the moment
ever had one of those days when you think to yourself, "my goodness, life sure is good right now"?
yesterday, i was wandering around the streets of gruene, texas and i experienced this epiphany (as evidenced by my huge perma-grin in the above photo.)
no, there is no secret to this most pure form of ethereal happiness. wish i had one to tell ya, then i could write a book about it and make some money helping people "find themselves." but really, it's just plain old being thankful for what you've got and thanking God above for giving it to you.
i've been trying to make a list every single day of what i'm grateful for, so i thought i'd share today's list with you.
today i'm thankful for: *my health, never take this one for granted. *a family who understands how weird i truly am, yet they embrace it and think i should stay that way. *a wise daddy who gives the best advice ever. *doing the right thing and having no doubts that it was the right decision. *the 5 or so people in my life who i think really know me and get what i'm about. *truth, grace, and mercy. *16 days until BU football. *planning reunion wknd with my college best friends who i love so much! *a J-O-B in general, but even more thankful that it's one where i get to witness people's lives change. *the 300+ kids that have come in and out of my office over the last 8 months. *knowing and trusting that i only have to take it one day at a time.
what about you, what are you grateful for? i'd like to know.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
a question i ask myself tonight:
is possessing a restless heart a curse?
excuse me for my thought provoking inner-discourse, it's not an attempt to sound pseudo intellectual, i assure you. the real truth is over the last four days, i have watched both lonesome dove and legends of the fall and damn both of those movies, they stir up in me that old familiar longing to seek adventure and exploration. oh, i do pine for it. if it weren't for mamma's robertson genes that stabilize me and give me a sense of maintaining some roots, i'd be in real trouble. i'd quit my job tomorrow and perhaps return to south america like i'd always planned or better yet, move up to that cattle ranch in montana that i dream about ever so often.
but it is only a dream i suppose. there is no "wild frontier" anymore, but what i would give to ride out west over uncharted territory...crossing rivers and streams, mountains and plains, canyons and caprocks - i do have a love affair with land, it seems to me it's one of the only things in this world that's really worthwhile.
shoot, it is quite the travesty to discover that you were born about 150 years too late.
having this threadbare gypsy soul isn't easy. if only i weren't so affected by whitman's words, dylan's lyrics, and hemingway's narratives. but the truth is i am. the truth is i could never be indisputably happy living in a cutesy suburb with my corporate america husband, our requisite canine, and our 2.5 well-mannered children. believe me, i've tried to buy into that and embrace it and maybe someday i will, but that day is not today.
one of my favorites, william faulkner, once said that tomorrow night is nothing but one long sleepless wrestle with yesterday's omissions and regrets. if he's right, then i don't want to struggle with that regret, i want to do everything i could while i could.
so here's to my next big quest...much obliged to you, tristan ludlow, for being my inspired muse.
excuse me for my thought provoking inner-discourse, it's not an attempt to sound pseudo intellectual, i assure you. the real truth is over the last four days, i have watched both lonesome dove and legends of the fall and damn both of those movies, they stir up in me that old familiar longing to seek adventure and exploration. oh, i do pine for it. if it weren't for mamma's robertson genes that stabilize me and give me a sense of maintaining some roots, i'd be in real trouble. i'd quit my job tomorrow and perhaps return to south america like i'd always planned or better yet, move up to that cattle ranch in montana that i dream about ever so often.
but it is only a dream i suppose. there is no "wild frontier" anymore, but what i would give to ride out west over uncharted territory...crossing rivers and streams, mountains and plains, canyons and caprocks - i do have a love affair with land, it seems to me it's one of the only things in this world that's really worthwhile.
shoot, it is quite the travesty to discover that you were born about 150 years too late.
having this threadbare gypsy soul isn't easy. if only i weren't so affected by whitman's words, dylan's lyrics, and hemingway's narratives. but the truth is i am. the truth is i could never be indisputably happy living in a cutesy suburb with my corporate america husband, our requisite canine, and our 2.5 well-mannered children. believe me, i've tried to buy into that and embrace it and maybe someday i will, but that day is not today.
one of my favorites, william faulkner, once said that tomorrow night is nothing but one long sleepless wrestle with yesterday's omissions and regrets. if he's right, then i don't want to struggle with that regret, i want to do everything i could while i could.
so here's to my next big quest...much obliged to you, tristan ludlow, for being my inspired muse.
Monday, May 4, 2009
trying to become older & wiser
life goes in cycles; when something begins it will inevitably end. i know this to be true, but that doesn't make it any easier. i'm coming to the close of my current grant and this week marks my last week with these kids. i'm terribly distraught about leaving them. i worry about the negative consequences that will surely arise from them having one more person who they've come to trust disappearing from their life. i worry about what is going to happen this summer when no one is doing any case management on them. i worry about letting them down. but i know i did my job and i met my goal. we reached over 150 kids on a personal, individual basis and our outcome reports are looking good. however, this week of saying goodbye is going to be rough, i'm almost about to start tearing up just writing this post....such a sap, but those kids are my life.
i decided to make all of the kids little bags of surprises and i enclosed the following letter which i wrote last night at 3 a.m. i thought it might be something good to post because no matter if you're 12 or 82, these are still some good things to keep in mind, so here ya go:
To _________________________,
It has been an absolute blast to work with you over the last four months. While I was supposed to be the one teaching you, you have taught me so much more. It has been a pleasure getting to know each of you and it is because of you that I absolutely love my job. Thank you for wanting to be leaders in your communities , schools, and homes. I have no doubt that you will be successful and courageous in whatever you choose to do.
I have created the following list of things that I've learned growing up - some the easy way, and some the very hard way. If you haven't learned anything else this semester, just take one of these things with you and I will have done my job.
1. Don’t ever forget where you came from…your roots will always keep you grounded.
2. Fear is no reason not to go forward. The things that scare you are often the most worthwhile.
3. Do well in school. An education will be your ticket to many good things.
4. Laugh at yourself. Often.
5. Character is much easier kept than regained.
6. Never underestimate the value of your family. There will come a time when they’re all you’ve got. (and family doesn’t always mean flesh & blood.)
7. Take every single chance you can to love others; especially the ones that you really don’t think you can. You’ll be amazed at what effect this has on your enemies.
8. Do not lie. The truth will always come out. Always.
9. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
10. Don’t get weighed down by not fitting in, feeling alone, or being different from everybody else. Trust me, there’s someone else feeling the same way and in 10 years nobody cares about any of this anyway.
11. Don’t think your life will start at the next stage (exp. “when I turn 16, then things will begin; when I go to college, life will finally be good; when I get married, then I’ll be happy.) Your life is happening right now.
12. Find a hobby. An activity that you enjoy doing for you and only you.
13. Be a kid! Stop worrying. You have plenty of time to be serious and grown up.
14. Find at least one friend who you can totally be yourself around.
15. Say “please” and “thank you” at every opportunity.
16. Take the time to really listen to people.
17. Always go with your gut. That feeling in the pit of your stomach and that nagging conscience is fool-proof.
18. Remember that “this too shall pass.” What seems like a monumental obstacle right now will often gain perspective in time.
19. Even when it gets extremely difficult, always try to find the best in everyone and everything. No matter what, the heart of life is good.
20. That being said, life is going to beat you up. A lot. But there’s this thing called resilience and through that you will find a strength you never knew you had.
21. Go play outside, get your knees scraped up, and breathe in some fresh air. It’ll do you good.
22. Try to remember that people will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
23. Do the right thing for the right reasons.
24. Gratitude is the foundation of happiness. Someone is always going to have more than you and someone is always going to have less than you. Once you take account of what you really have, you’ll feel so lucky.
25. Smile every day.
I'm so very proud of each and every one of you; I believe in you. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
-Miss Shannan
i decided to make all of the kids little bags of surprises and i enclosed the following letter which i wrote last night at 3 a.m. i thought it might be something good to post because no matter if you're 12 or 82, these are still some good things to keep in mind, so here ya go:
To _________________________,
It has been an absolute blast to work with you over the last four months. While I was supposed to be the one teaching you, you have taught me so much more. It has been a pleasure getting to know each of you and it is because of you that I absolutely love my job. Thank you for wanting to be leaders in your communities , schools, and homes. I have no doubt that you will be successful and courageous in whatever you choose to do.
I have created the following list of things that I've learned growing up - some the easy way, and some the very hard way. If you haven't learned anything else this semester, just take one of these things with you and I will have done my job.
1. Don’t ever forget where you came from…your roots will always keep you grounded.
2. Fear is no reason not to go forward. The things that scare you are often the most worthwhile.
3. Do well in school. An education will be your ticket to many good things.
4. Laugh at yourself. Often.
5. Character is much easier kept than regained.
6. Never underestimate the value of your family. There will come a time when they’re all you’ve got. (and family doesn’t always mean flesh & blood.)
7. Take every single chance you can to love others; especially the ones that you really don’t think you can. You’ll be amazed at what effect this has on your enemies.
8. Do not lie. The truth will always come out. Always.
9. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
10. Don’t get weighed down by not fitting in, feeling alone, or being different from everybody else. Trust me, there’s someone else feeling the same way and in 10 years nobody cares about any of this anyway.
11. Don’t think your life will start at the next stage (exp. “when I turn 16, then things will begin; when I go to college, life will finally be good; when I get married, then I’ll be happy.) Your life is happening right now.
12. Find a hobby. An activity that you enjoy doing for you and only you.
13. Be a kid! Stop worrying. You have plenty of time to be serious and grown up.
14. Find at least one friend who you can totally be yourself around.
15. Say “please” and “thank you” at every opportunity.
16. Take the time to really listen to people.
17. Always go with your gut. That feeling in the pit of your stomach and that nagging conscience is fool-proof.
18. Remember that “this too shall pass.” What seems like a monumental obstacle right now will often gain perspective in time.
19. Even when it gets extremely difficult, always try to find the best in everyone and everything. No matter what, the heart of life is good.
20. That being said, life is going to beat you up. A lot. But there’s this thing called resilience and through that you will find a strength you never knew you had.
21. Go play outside, get your knees scraped up, and breathe in some fresh air. It’ll do you good.
22. Try to remember that people will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
23. Do the right thing for the right reasons.
24. Gratitude is the foundation of happiness. Someone is always going to have more than you and someone is always going to have less than you. Once you take account of what you really have, you’ll feel so lucky.
25. Smile every day.
I'm so very proud of each and every one of you; I believe in you. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
-Miss Shannan
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
home to texas.
i've let this little blog of mine collect dust for sometime now, and i must say, it feels strange, awkward, and a little sad that we have to become reacquainted. i stopped writing in this forum for several reasons; namely because i didn't really have much internet access in mexico, but also because i don't even really know how to sum up the last 2 months of my life. quite honestly, i'm not sure any of you would believe it even if i told you.
let's just say that i left mexico roughly two weeks ago because i felt that i was in a situation where i could no longer stay. after a very intense discussion with my family, we collectively decided that it was time for me to return back to TEXAS. i'm not trying to be cryptic about telling you what all conspired, but i simply can't extrapolate on everything because i don't have the time/energy/or space.
i will always treasure my time spent in hermosillo and i will never forget the lessons i learned or the people i encountered. my room mates in sonora, well...you became my family. my students, you became my friends. i was unexplainably torn about my decision to leave you all and it still breaks my heart, but i think about y'all all the time. the imprint you left on my life has been immeasurable. i didn't really get a chance to say it like i wanted to, but thank you from the bottom of my heart.
all of that being said, i am OVER-THE-MOON happy about being back in the lone star state. i'm not sure if any of you have ever endured an experience where you've been completely removed from everything you've ever known for a pretty significant amount of time, but it will rock your world - for the better. right now, everything - EVERYTHING - is a luxury for me. sleeping in a comfortable, big sleigh bed. picking up the cell phone to call an old friend. taking a leisurely bath. going to bed at night knowing that i don't have to worry about a drug raid. I APPRECIATE IT ALL.
so what have i been up to since i got home?
well since i neglected my family for over 3 months, we've been spending some much-needed time catching up. as predicted, i missed out on a lot, but was never forgotten. andrew's bigger than ever, i think he's gained 60 pounds and 4 inches since i last saw him!!! he's still on the good 'ol bu football team and i'm so proud of him, especially concerning the big win last saturday! paige is maturing as well and i can't believe my baby sister is getting ready to get her driver's permit and is begging for her curfew to be extended (hey, she learned from the best.) bill & sheri are doing well too...about to celebrate the big 25th anniversary and daddy's returning home from cuba in february!!!! i think the whole town is going to give him a big welcome home party when he gets back, he's pretty missed around these parts. i am so blessed to have been born and raised in this family, i really could never ask for more.
i've also been afforded the chance to catch up with all my amazing, devoted, hilarious friends. i missed y'all so much, you will never know the extent to which i missed all of you! i never ever want to do life again without all of you in it. when i called each of you to tell you that i made the decision to stay in texas, you all cheered audibly and some of you even cried!!! i have coveted your prayer and support over the last few months like nothing else and you have delivered. i'm going to give credit where credit is due: i must thank jessica h., steve, amanda, alli, cori, brittany, jessica p., megan, wesley, crystal, leah, haley, heather, lucy, billy, and kently. y'all are the best, and if you ever need ANYTHING - you call me dangit!!!! i will never forget your loyalty or thoughtfulness.
and yes, i've been spending some time with a goodlookin' country boy named taylor jordan harris. though i have to compete with the jealous mistress known as baylor law school, we have somehow managed to eat at waco's finest restaurants, go to concerts, hang out in the hill country, camp out at state parks, and cheer on the bears! babe, thanks for putting up with my "quirky" habits and teaching me the correct way to skip a rock and start a fire. you are a good man.
i'm sure you're also wondering what the heck i'm doing with my life professionally too. some of you might be shocked, but i loved teaching so much so that i'm going to continue in the education field! though i'm working odd jobs all over town right now (yes, shallowater, it is good to see you again...) i'll be moving to san antonio come january to teach spanish and ESL with S.A.I.S.D.! and i'm sooooooooo excited!!!!! that being said, i'm also embarking on the biggest literary endeavor of my life in that i'm writing my first book. i plan to do freelance journalism projects on the side, but i'm putting most of my effort into this novel...40 pages down, ? to go!
what can i say, God works in mysterious ways, but He is so, so good. i really wouldn't have ever predicted this path for my life, but everything has turned out better than i could have ever imagined or planned. i'm so immensely grateful and i feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now. i just can't stop smiling. life really is that good.
let's just say that i left mexico roughly two weeks ago because i felt that i was in a situation where i could no longer stay. after a very intense discussion with my family, we collectively decided that it was time for me to return back to TEXAS. i'm not trying to be cryptic about telling you what all conspired, but i simply can't extrapolate on everything because i don't have the time/energy/or space.
i will always treasure my time spent in hermosillo and i will never forget the lessons i learned or the people i encountered. my room mates in sonora, well...you became my family. my students, you became my friends. i was unexplainably torn about my decision to leave you all and it still breaks my heart, but i think about y'all all the time. the imprint you left on my life has been immeasurable. i didn't really get a chance to say it like i wanted to, but thank you from the bottom of my heart.
all of that being said, i am OVER-THE-MOON happy about being back in the lone star state. i'm not sure if any of you have ever endured an experience where you've been completely removed from everything you've ever known for a pretty significant amount of time, but it will rock your world - for the better. right now, everything - EVERYTHING - is a luxury for me. sleeping in a comfortable, big sleigh bed. picking up the cell phone to call an old friend. taking a leisurely bath. going to bed at night knowing that i don't have to worry about a drug raid. I APPRECIATE IT ALL.
so what have i been up to since i got home?
well since i neglected my family for over 3 months, we've been spending some much-needed time catching up. as predicted, i missed out on a lot, but was never forgotten. andrew's bigger than ever, i think he's gained 60 pounds and 4 inches since i last saw him!!! he's still on the good 'ol bu football team and i'm so proud of him, especially concerning the big win last saturday! paige is maturing as well and i can't believe my baby sister is getting ready to get her driver's permit and is begging for her curfew to be extended (hey, she learned from the best.) bill & sheri are doing well too...about to celebrate the big 25th anniversary and daddy's returning home from cuba in february!!!! i think the whole town is going to give him a big welcome home party when he gets back, he's pretty missed around these parts. i am so blessed to have been born and raised in this family, i really could never ask for more.
i've also been afforded the chance to catch up with all my amazing, devoted, hilarious friends. i missed y'all so much, you will never know the extent to which i missed all of you! i never ever want to do life again without all of you in it. when i called each of you to tell you that i made the decision to stay in texas, you all cheered audibly and some of you even cried!!! i have coveted your prayer and support over the last few months like nothing else and you have delivered. i'm going to give credit where credit is due: i must thank jessica h., steve, amanda, alli, cori, brittany, jessica p., megan, wesley, crystal, leah, haley, heather, lucy, billy, and kently. y'all are the best, and if you ever need ANYTHING - you call me dangit!!!! i will never forget your loyalty or thoughtfulness.
and yes, i've been spending some time with a goodlookin' country boy named taylor jordan harris. though i have to compete with the jealous mistress known as baylor law school, we have somehow managed to eat at waco's finest restaurants, go to concerts, hang out in the hill country, camp out at state parks, and cheer on the bears! babe, thanks for putting up with my "quirky" habits and teaching me the correct way to skip a rock and start a fire. you are a good man.
i'm sure you're also wondering what the heck i'm doing with my life professionally too. some of you might be shocked, but i loved teaching so much so that i'm going to continue in the education field! though i'm working odd jobs all over town right now (yes, shallowater, it is good to see you again...) i'll be moving to san antonio come january to teach spanish and ESL with S.A.I.S.D.! and i'm sooooooooo excited!!!!! that being said, i'm also embarking on the biggest literary endeavor of my life in that i'm writing my first book. i plan to do freelance journalism projects on the side, but i'm putting most of my effort into this novel...40 pages down, ? to go!
what can i say, God works in mysterious ways, but He is so, so good. i really wouldn't have ever predicted this path for my life, but everything has turned out better than i could have ever imagined or planned. i'm so immensely grateful and i feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now. i just can't stop smiling. life really is that good.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
inspired to say the least
never in my life did i think i'd want to be a teacher. not even once. my mamma was a teacher, and though she loved it, i just knew it wasn't the career for me. for one thing, it didn't pay nearly enough for the "lifestyle that I would presumptuously lead", for another, i was going to do something truly great, truly fascinating...not spend my time in a classroom with sweaty twelve-year-olds.
as i have realized over the years, i have been wrong about many things...and i think that this is one of them. though my career in education has lasted a mere six weeks, i have had so many experiences that have led me to believe that this is one of the greatest professions that exist.
as a teacher, you get to explore the creative depths of your brain as you indulge in planning lessons that will keep your students actively engaged. you get to teach another individual a valuable skill that he or she will actually utilize in everyday life! you get to witness that moment - that beautiful moment - when things finally click in their brains! when all of your efforts have been expended and all hope is lost...and suddenly there is that aha! moment when your student understands. but best of all, you get to build and cultivate a relationship, which is my favorite part of teaching.
the photo above was taken last week with my beginner 1A class. they speak very little english, but bless their hearts, they try so hard!!! at our language school, cycles run in patterns of 4 weeks in one level and then, a student either accelerates to the next level or stays at their current one. this changing of course means that you will inevitably change teachers as well. well, this particular class got together outside of class and surprised me on our last day together with a huge party! they brought a tres leches cake, tamales, chips, balloons, music - everything - and as they all hid in the dark, i walked into the classroom to hear, "SURPRISE! THANK YOU MISS SOFI!!! (in case you didn't know: here, my name is sofia...but i'll explain that in another post...) i said, "why did you all do this for me?" And they responded in their broken english, "because miss sofi, you're the best teacher we've ever had and we wanted to let you know." awwwww, cue the tears. "how can you ever, ever be a part of something that makes you feel like that?", i ask myself.
no, you will never make money being a teacher. you will never drive a nice car. you will never be invited to fancy parties, walk red carpets, or rub shoulders with the a-list. you won't vacation in the hamptons and you certainly won't wear louboutins. you'll want to give up, you'll be exhausted, and your patience will be tested at every opportunity. but you know what you will have...you'll have a purpose, a mission, a reason to go to work. your job will have a face, a name, and a personality. and on a daily basis, your efforts will be rewarded and your heart will be warmed.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
the long-awaited, much-anticipated post.
alright, first of all, i must apologize for the title of this post because after typing it and re-reading it, i'm thinking, "shannan d'aun, how self-important are you that you think people are DYING to read about your life???" so yes, i apologize. second of all, warning: if you intend on reading this post in its entirety, you might want to go grab a cold one and make yourself nice and comfortable on your porch swing, because folks, it's going to be a long one.
i realize that some of you already know what's going on, but a lot of you think i'm still roaming around texas sleeping on couches and free-loading my life away.
rest assured: that baylor education is going to be utilized very soon; because that's right, i'm moving south of the border to monterrey, mexico!!!!!
i can see the wheels turning in your head. why would a girl accustomed to modern conveniences give up her car, her fantastic oh-so-amazing bed, her addiction to sonic, and the allure of a salary so that she could live in a third world country? the truth is, i'm ecstatic.
i've waited a long time to write this post because i wanted to make sure that everything was official, but i also had a hard time writing about it because i wasn't sure if i could actually go through with it. to enlighten you on my dilemma, i must take you back to a breezy afternoon, back in early april of this year. if you've been keeping up with my melodrama of a blog, you know that i really struggled this last semester of college to "find myself." everyone around me just seemed so sure of everything and for the very first time in my life, i was at a loss. the shannan sowder that i knew inside my head always had a plan, always had the next step of life ready and waiting in the wings, but not this time. for the first time in all of my 22 years, i was granted freedom - intoxicating, liberating, terrifying freedom. but because of the constant comparisons with my counterparts at baylor, i began to grow nauseatingly anxious that i didn't have my "ducks in a row yet." so i knelt to the pressure and began applying to every entry-level job from here to savannah, georgia just so that i could have something to tell everybody when they asked the inevitable question.
back to that day in april. as fate would have it, that day i walked past professor maxey parrish's door and noticed that he was busy typing away at his computer. i decided not to interrupt the man because i know how busy he is, plus i didn't want to intervene if he was in the middle of writing the next great american novel (because he will someday). he saw me slyly avoid his office and half-shouted, "shannan sowder, you get in here right now and update me on what you're doing with that life of yours!" oh no, not the question again. "well sir, i've been applying to a slew of jobs all over and i've landed five at this point, but it just doesn't feel right. something's off." to which he responded, "well of course something's off. that's not what you were intended to do. it's not your passion. tell me shannan, what would you do if you could do absolutely anything?" i said, "well maxey, you know if i could do anything, i'd see the world and then i'd write about it. but you know i can't do that. that's absolutely absurd. i'm just a little girl from shallowater, texas." maxey then let out a big sigh and chuckled to himself, "you know miss sowder, i'm disappointed in you. you used to be fearless. out of anybody i've taught, i figured you could handle this." so i walked out of his office that day stark-raving mad. but i also walked out of his office that day challenged and feeling hungry for something, a feeling i hadn't experienced for such a long time. you see, that 10 minute conversation, well to be honest - it was life altering. i walked out of castellaw that day a changed woman and maxey parrish, i blame you for all of it. okay not really. the truth is, you helped me realize that i was never lost. i knew what i wanted all along, but i simply wouldn't give myself the permission to do it.
that night i went the library and spent the next six hours researching jobs abroad. of course i wanted to do the hemingway thing and just write all of my thoughts down while sitting around some adorable little cafe amid a breathtaking landscape; but newsflash: i have no funds! i found listings for bartenders (hey i always thought i might be good at that), ship mates, baristas, au pairs, travel guides, and a lot of other unmentionable things; but the thing that really stood out to me was teaching. i've never aspired to be a teacher in any way shape or form, but it was the one job where i felt that i could actually make a difference. though i desperately wanted to return to europe, i soon learned that the red tape involved in getting a work visa and an international teaching certificate was just too lengthy. about five days into my research, i found a lead on a company called educaz based in monterrey and hermosillo, mexico. after reading the job description, visiting the company website, and talking to some of the employed teachers, i thought this could be a fit. after filling out a mountain of paperwork and going through a pretty intensive interview process, i finally got the job!!!!
i just think this is going to be so freaking cool. i'll be working in the business district of monterrey as a language consultant teaching conversational english to mexican business associates. i'm told that i will have some high school students as well, but for the most part, the program is aimed at working professionals who would like to expand their language skills so that they can compete in the international business market. though my job is obviously my top priority and the reason that i'm going to mexico, i'm also going for personal reasons. a) i've been trying to master the spanish language for the last two years and while i'm pretty conversational, i haven't achieved fluency yet. this venture should allow me to do that. b) because i know absolutely no one involved in this program nor anyone from monterrey, i'm going to have a lot of time on my hands to do some soul searching. i'm looking forward to doing a tremendous amount of writing and also exploring/strengthening my relationship with God. (let's face it, I'm going to have to depend on Him A LOT.)
though i can't wait for my big adventure to begin, i realize that everything will not be a bed of roses. what if i'm terrible at my job and they're forced to fire me? what if i get kidnapped in a dark alley never to see the light of day again? what if no one likes me? what if i'm miserable and lonely? that is the question that haunts me the most. i'm going to miss the people in my life desperately.
my family is my everything. you have made so many emotional, financial, and physical sacrifices so that you could make me happy. i know it's not easy for you to let me go, but you know that by letting me go, you are actually loving me the best way that you can. your endless support and prayers mean the world to me. how can i express my thanks to you for giving me both roots AND wings? i simply can't do it justice.
my friends, you are my rock. you are my cheerleaders, my sounding board, my wingwomen, my laughter. you are what keeps me sane and young. we know each other inside out and we have truly seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. thank you for loving me despite all of my flaws. i'm so, so, so proud of each and every one of you. how did i get so lucky to have such incredible people as friends? this summer especially, several of you have showed me that you would bend over backward to be there for me. someday, i hope that i can return the favor.
to one person in particular (you know who you are), i will miss you more than you will ever know or more than i care to admit. you have shown me that yes, those good 'ol texas boys really do exist and yes, there are people out there who know more about country music than me. thank you for teaching me about patience, but more than that, thank you for proving to me that i could have faith in someone again. thank you for letting me go chase my dreams and please know that i will always be supportive of yours.
now that i've managed to write the liner notes to my greatest hits album, i'm going to wind this thing down. i just wanted to catch everyone up on what's going on because i know at my attempt to be somewhat mysterious, i can be quite evasive (curse of the scorpio.) anyway, just know that i have no idea what the hell i'm doing and i love that. if any of you get the itch to come down to old mexico, please call me and we'll explore this territory together! i love you all. very much.
i realize that some of you already know what's going on, but a lot of you think i'm still roaming around texas sleeping on couches and free-loading my life away.
rest assured: that baylor education is going to be utilized very soon; because that's right, i'm moving south of the border to monterrey, mexico!!!!!
i can see the wheels turning in your head. why would a girl accustomed to modern conveniences give up her car, her fantastic oh-so-amazing bed, her addiction to sonic, and the allure of a salary so that she could live in a third world country? the truth is, i'm ecstatic.
i've waited a long time to write this post because i wanted to make sure that everything was official, but i also had a hard time writing about it because i wasn't sure if i could actually go through with it. to enlighten you on my dilemma, i must take you back to a breezy afternoon, back in early april of this year. if you've been keeping up with my melodrama of a blog, you know that i really struggled this last semester of college to "find myself." everyone around me just seemed so sure of everything and for the very first time in my life, i was at a loss. the shannan sowder that i knew inside my head always had a plan, always had the next step of life ready and waiting in the wings, but not this time. for the first time in all of my 22 years, i was granted freedom - intoxicating, liberating, terrifying freedom. but because of the constant comparisons with my counterparts at baylor, i began to grow nauseatingly anxious that i didn't have my "ducks in a row yet." so i knelt to the pressure and began applying to every entry-level job from here to savannah, georgia just so that i could have something to tell everybody when they asked the inevitable question.
back to that day in april. as fate would have it, that day i walked past professor maxey parrish's door and noticed that he was busy typing away at his computer. i decided not to interrupt the man because i know how busy he is, plus i didn't want to intervene if he was in the middle of writing the next great american novel (because he will someday). he saw me slyly avoid his office and half-shouted, "shannan sowder, you get in here right now and update me on what you're doing with that life of yours!" oh no, not the question again. "well sir, i've been applying to a slew of jobs all over and i've landed five at this point, but it just doesn't feel right. something's off." to which he responded, "well of course something's off. that's not what you were intended to do. it's not your passion. tell me shannan, what would you do if you could do absolutely anything?" i said, "well maxey, you know if i could do anything, i'd see the world and then i'd write about it. but you know i can't do that. that's absolutely absurd. i'm just a little girl from shallowater, texas." maxey then let out a big sigh and chuckled to himself, "you know miss sowder, i'm disappointed in you. you used to be fearless. out of anybody i've taught, i figured you could handle this." so i walked out of his office that day stark-raving mad. but i also walked out of his office that day challenged and feeling hungry for something, a feeling i hadn't experienced for such a long time. you see, that 10 minute conversation, well to be honest - it was life altering. i walked out of castellaw that day a changed woman and maxey parrish, i blame you for all of it. okay not really. the truth is, you helped me realize that i was never lost. i knew what i wanted all along, but i simply wouldn't give myself the permission to do it.
that night i went the library and spent the next six hours researching jobs abroad. of course i wanted to do the hemingway thing and just write all of my thoughts down while sitting around some adorable little cafe amid a breathtaking landscape; but newsflash: i have no funds! i found listings for bartenders (hey i always thought i might be good at that), ship mates, baristas, au pairs, travel guides, and a lot of other unmentionable things; but the thing that really stood out to me was teaching. i've never aspired to be a teacher in any way shape or form, but it was the one job where i felt that i could actually make a difference. though i desperately wanted to return to europe, i soon learned that the red tape involved in getting a work visa and an international teaching certificate was just too lengthy. about five days into my research, i found a lead on a company called educaz based in monterrey and hermosillo, mexico. after reading the job description, visiting the company website, and talking to some of the employed teachers, i thought this could be a fit. after filling out a mountain of paperwork and going through a pretty intensive interview process, i finally got the job!!!!
i just think this is going to be so freaking cool. i'll be working in the business district of monterrey as a language consultant teaching conversational english to mexican business associates. i'm told that i will have some high school students as well, but for the most part, the program is aimed at working professionals who would like to expand their language skills so that they can compete in the international business market. though my job is obviously my top priority and the reason that i'm going to mexico, i'm also going for personal reasons. a) i've been trying to master the spanish language for the last two years and while i'm pretty conversational, i haven't achieved fluency yet. this venture should allow me to do that. b) because i know absolutely no one involved in this program nor anyone from monterrey, i'm going to have a lot of time on my hands to do some soul searching. i'm looking forward to doing a tremendous amount of writing and also exploring/strengthening my relationship with God. (let's face it, I'm going to have to depend on Him A LOT.)
though i can't wait for my big adventure to begin, i realize that everything will not be a bed of roses. what if i'm terrible at my job and they're forced to fire me? what if i get kidnapped in a dark alley never to see the light of day again? what if no one likes me? what if i'm miserable and lonely? that is the question that haunts me the most. i'm going to miss the people in my life desperately.
my family is my everything. you have made so many emotional, financial, and physical sacrifices so that you could make me happy. i know it's not easy for you to let me go, but you know that by letting me go, you are actually loving me the best way that you can. your endless support and prayers mean the world to me. how can i express my thanks to you for giving me both roots AND wings? i simply can't do it justice.
my friends, you are my rock. you are my cheerleaders, my sounding board, my wingwomen, my laughter. you are what keeps me sane and young. we know each other inside out and we have truly seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. thank you for loving me despite all of my flaws. i'm so, so, so proud of each and every one of you. how did i get so lucky to have such incredible people as friends? this summer especially, several of you have showed me that you would bend over backward to be there for me. someday, i hope that i can return the favor.
to one person in particular (you know who you are), i will miss you more than you will ever know or more than i care to admit. you have shown me that yes, those good 'ol texas boys really do exist and yes, there are people out there who know more about country music than me. thank you for teaching me about patience, but more than that, thank you for proving to me that i could have faith in someone again. thank you for letting me go chase my dreams and please know that i will always be supportive of yours.
now that i've managed to write the liner notes to my greatest hits album, i'm going to wind this thing down. i just wanted to catch everyone up on what's going on because i know at my attempt to be somewhat mysterious, i can be quite evasive (curse of the scorpio.) anyway, just know that i have no idea what the hell i'm doing and i love that. if any of you get the itch to come down to old mexico, please call me and we'll explore this territory together! i love you all. very much.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
may day
i know, i know...i've preached the virtues of keeping a blog far and wide across this land (well to my closeknit little circle of friends anyway)and yet over the last month, i have let this little project of mine fall by the wayside. i do apologize profusely to my readership, but please understand, my life has been absolutely insane over the last 30 some-odd days...
why you ask?
here's the short list: last days at my old haunts, spending every last second of time w/ my besties, doing our things in waco, graduating from good 'ol bu, freaking out about the possibility of not graduating due to SPA 4372 (i'll have nightmares about that one for awhile), and my least favorite: saying goodbye to the people i love so dearly.
to put it simply and ever so sylvia plath-like, i haven't written in awhile because i haven't had the heart to write about anything. i wanted to write about the events of graduation for a long time now, but every time i tried, i just wanted to cry. cue the violin music. i'm such a freaking tool.
however, i am happy to report that the damage from the existential crisis has only been a code orange.
i was reminded of this last saturday night when my posse and i ended the night at appling's after a night of rambunctious carousing. cori began to cry, which naturally led to waterworks on my part. i just started thinking about all the nights that i had spent in that rickety old house...all the times we'd watched that amazing journey live dvd and sang our hearts out w/ a double shot of hot damn, all the conversations that we'd had well past 4 a.m., all the bottlecaps we'd stolen from the boys. i swear i'd been to that house on 15th and daughtrey about a thousand times...so i cried because that piece of my life was over and it's something i'll never get back.
in the midst of my salty tears, appling looked at me and started singing an old hank williams' classic "there's a tear in your beer..." to which got me laughing.
and then he said the following: "come on shan, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." i don't know about you folks, but i wanted to punch him in the face. this is the kind of shit they print on bumperstickers or tell you when you're devastated over leaving your week-long summer camp at angelo state.
but you know what, this is some unbelievably infinite wisdom. i was telling someone just the other day that i had the best college experience of anyone i had ever known, and for once, i'm really not embellishing the truth. i really did.
so you know what, i'm going to smile because it happened. trust me, i've got the pictures to prove it...
why you ask?
here's the short list: last days at my old haunts, spending every last second of time w/ my besties, doing our things in waco, graduating from good 'ol bu, freaking out about the possibility of not graduating due to SPA 4372 (i'll have nightmares about that one for awhile), and my least favorite: saying goodbye to the people i love so dearly.
to put it simply and ever so sylvia plath-like, i haven't written in awhile because i haven't had the heart to write about anything. i wanted to write about the events of graduation for a long time now, but every time i tried, i just wanted to cry. cue the violin music. i'm such a freaking tool.
however, i am happy to report that the damage from the existential crisis has only been a code orange.
i was reminded of this last saturday night when my posse and i ended the night at appling's after a night of rambunctious carousing. cori began to cry, which naturally led to waterworks on my part. i just started thinking about all the nights that i had spent in that rickety old house...all the times we'd watched that amazing journey live dvd and sang our hearts out w/ a double shot of hot damn, all the conversations that we'd had well past 4 a.m., all the bottlecaps we'd stolen from the boys. i swear i'd been to that house on 15th and daughtrey about a thousand times...so i cried because that piece of my life was over and it's something i'll never get back.
in the midst of my salty tears, appling looked at me and started singing an old hank williams' classic "there's a tear in your beer..." to which got me laughing.
and then he said the following: "come on shan, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." i don't know about you folks, but i wanted to punch him in the face. this is the kind of shit they print on bumperstickers or tell you when you're devastated over leaving your week-long summer camp at angelo state.
but you know what, this is some unbelievably infinite wisdom. i was telling someone just the other day that i had the best college experience of anyone i had ever known, and for once, i'm really not embellishing the truth. i really did.
so you know what, i'm going to smile because it happened. trust me, i've got the pictures to prove it...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
life is funny that way.
well this is one entry that i never expected to make, i can assure you of that. in my wildest dreams i never thought it would be april 24 of my senior year of college and i wouldn't have my plan, my ducks in a row. i really do apologize to those of you who have had to listen to my incesant ranting over the last few weeks about how bleak my future looks.
well you'll be glad to know that i've turned a corner. i'm by no means "footloose and fancy free," but I have come to grips with the fact that i don't have to have it all figured out.
for those of you who dismiss my lack of plans as pure laziness, i can assure you that that is not the case. i've already been on 3 job interviews and i currently have 5 job offers in texas on the table. i know what you're thinking, just take the job already! however, i simply can't do it. i have a dream and i'm not going to give up on it without trying. unlike a lot of people, i can't live my life always wondering what could have been. the thought of being 40 years old and realizing "i should have gone after this but now it's just too late" makes my stomach churn.
so here i am left with this crazy ambition to be in the literary business. despite the plunging economy and all allowances being aborted in the very, very near future - i would still rather be poor as a church mouse living in my one room apartment knowing NO ONE, but living life than taking the easy route. absolutely no offense to those of you who are taking business jobs in dallas or houston, but i just know it in my bones that i wasn't meant for that.
in the midst of my angst and despair, i started cleaning out my closet and i came across a box of magazine clippings that i had saved. because i save everything that has ever had just one ounce of meaning for me, i have boxes of this stuff. lo and behold, the first article i came across was a backrounder in W magazine about my beloved candace bushnell. for those of you who don't know who she is, shame on you. but on the offchance that you're not certifiably fanatic with the series known as sex and the city like i am, she was the creator of it all. pretty much, candace bushnell is carrie bradshaw. pretty much, candace bushnell is amazing to me.
in the article she was giving advice about women achieving professional achievement and having a sense of value. but my favorite part of the article was when she talked about her early years before making it big. she told of how she rented a studio in brooklyn for $300 a month only to get evicted, of how she used to stand in the ailes at the grocery store and sob because she couldn't afford to eat, of how she checked her bank account only to find that the balance was $2.58. then one day in her thirties!, it happened. she got the job at the New York Observer and her life changed dramatically. as unbelievably crazy as it is, i think this all sounds wonderful. so much so, that i want to try it out myself.
that being said. NO, i don't know concretely what i'm doing when i graduate yet. but that's okay. God's taking care of me and i have faith in that. he won't abandon me or forsake me and somehow this is all i need to forge ahead.
[sidenote: mamma would skin me alive for mentioning Jesus and sex and the city in the same blog posting, but i'm not going to refrain.]
well you'll be glad to know that i've turned a corner. i'm by no means "footloose and fancy free," but I have come to grips with the fact that i don't have to have it all figured out.
for those of you who dismiss my lack of plans as pure laziness, i can assure you that that is not the case. i've already been on 3 job interviews and i currently have 5 job offers in texas on the table. i know what you're thinking, just take the job already! however, i simply can't do it. i have a dream and i'm not going to give up on it without trying. unlike a lot of people, i can't live my life always wondering what could have been. the thought of being 40 years old and realizing "i should have gone after this but now it's just too late" makes my stomach churn.
so here i am left with this crazy ambition to be in the literary business. despite the plunging economy and all allowances being aborted in the very, very near future - i would still rather be poor as a church mouse living in my one room apartment knowing NO ONE, but living life than taking the easy route. absolutely no offense to those of you who are taking business jobs in dallas or houston, but i just know it in my bones that i wasn't meant for that.
in the midst of my angst and despair, i started cleaning out my closet and i came across a box of magazine clippings that i had saved. because i save everything that has ever had just one ounce of meaning for me, i have boxes of this stuff. lo and behold, the first article i came across was a backrounder in W magazine about my beloved candace bushnell. for those of you who don't know who she is, shame on you. but on the offchance that you're not certifiably fanatic with the series known as sex and the city like i am, she was the creator of it all. pretty much, candace bushnell is carrie bradshaw. pretty much, candace bushnell is amazing to me.
in the article she was giving advice about women achieving professional achievement and having a sense of value. but my favorite part of the article was when she talked about her early years before making it big. she told of how she rented a studio in brooklyn for $300 a month only to get evicted, of how she used to stand in the ailes at the grocery store and sob because she couldn't afford to eat, of how she checked her bank account only to find that the balance was $2.58. then one day in her thirties!, it happened. she got the job at the New York Observer and her life changed dramatically. as unbelievably crazy as it is, i think this all sounds wonderful. so much so, that i want to try it out myself.
that being said. NO, i don't know concretely what i'm doing when i graduate yet. but that's okay. God's taking care of me and i have faith in that. he won't abandon me or forsake me and somehow this is all i need to forge ahead.
[sidenote: mamma would skin me alive for mentioning Jesus and sex and the city in the same blog posting, but i'm not going to refrain.]
Monday, April 7, 2008
thoughts on a sunday night.
i definitely shouldn't be writing on my blog right now. shame on me. i have the biggest spanish paper of the enitre semester due tomorrow, not to mention my freaking senior portfolio (a project that's been 4 years in the making)has to go off to the printer on TUESDAY!!!!!
yeah it's safe to say that anna's interpretation of my pregnancy dream is dead-on accurate...someone's been procrastinating. for those of you who aren't familiar with finding the meaning of dreams, i was informed by a credible source that the reocurring dream i keep having about being full-blown 9 months pregnant is directly associated with putting things off. who knew?
anyway, the last staple that's holding my sanity together right now is my discovery of pandora.com. you can create your very own radio stations based on your favorite artists and have them saved forever! best thing since sliced bread if you ask me. my personal recommendation: type in amos lee.
so yes, while i'm listening to the sexy, ubelievable voice of amos sing "colors" here in the moody library computer lab, i have currently typed one page of my paper. the truth is, i've just got other things on my mind.
like my looming gradutaion.
i must be one hell of a headcase because my feelings are so contradictory on the subject that it is really unbelievable. one day i'm so sick of school i can hardly stand it, the other i'm holding on to college like velcro. tonight my feelings side with the latter.
i was talking to my mom this weekend and she said something about me needing to be ready to go the day after graduation because she had already reserved a uhaul and taken off of work to move me home - to which i thought, how strange. that's in 40 days. i'm not ready for that.
yeah, yeah, i'm being overly melodramatic about the entire thing i realize. has my readership of 2.4 people ever known me to be anything different? but it just seems like everyone's so damn excited about graduating and starting their lives - they're "over college." is something wrong w/ me because i'm not over it? maybe i've been living in ignorant bliss, but the last 4 years of my life have been idyllic. why would you want to change that?
don't know where all of this is stemming from...i suppose i can forsee that i'm on the verge of a quarter-life crisis. and for those of you attending graduation events/those of you who have any contact w/ me during that last week...there will be tears. lots of them.
however, the best man in my life made me feel a little bit better about my predicament. tonight, my daddy said, "well shan, would you rather be the girl who was really upset about college being over because you absolutely loved it and had the time of your life, or do you want to be the girl who was ambivalent about the whole thing because college was simply a means to an end?" so much wisdom pops. you're right, because i've already been that other girl before. and it's something i always regretted.
you see, i did things completely different in college. i broke the rules (sorry daddy.) i stayed out all night long. i drove to college station in the middle of the night. hell, i drove across the country. i dressed up for every theme party imaginable (delts of hazard to swimsuits and cowboy boots.) i went to concerts all over texas and screamed like the groupie i am. i got a whole glove compartment full of speeding tickets. i joined a sorority. i drank myself under the table on special holidays like diadeloso. i danced every chance i got. i lived in two different foreign countries and even picked up a foreign language along the way! i went out with a slew of different boys. i dealt with a substantial amount of relationship drama due to aforementioned boys. i sang karaoke often, or at least along w/ the piano man. i walked the catwalk in front of my house. i had long, life altering conversations on the bear trail. i got visiting hours violations. i went to baseball games, basketball games, football games, lacrosse games, tennis matches, and even some rugby. i went to places like west, texas (no, not my neck of the woods - the actual town) @ 4 a.m. just to get kolaches. i met my best friends, the loves of my life. and more than anything, i loved with my whole heart and nothing less.
yeah i realize i'm going to pay a price for that one, but in the end, i think it was worth it. ;)
there's absolutely not one thing i would do differently about the past 4 years and i couldn't be more proud to say that.
no regrets.
yeah it's safe to say that anna's interpretation of my pregnancy dream is dead-on accurate...someone's been procrastinating. for those of you who aren't familiar with finding the meaning of dreams, i was informed by a credible source that the reocurring dream i keep having about being full-blown 9 months pregnant is directly associated with putting things off. who knew?
anyway, the last staple that's holding my sanity together right now is my discovery of pandora.com. you can create your very own radio stations based on your favorite artists and have them saved forever! best thing since sliced bread if you ask me. my personal recommendation: type in amos lee.
so yes, while i'm listening to the sexy, ubelievable voice of amos sing "colors" here in the moody library computer lab, i have currently typed one page of my paper. the truth is, i've just got other things on my mind.
like my looming gradutaion.
i must be one hell of a headcase because my feelings are so contradictory on the subject that it is really unbelievable. one day i'm so sick of school i can hardly stand it, the other i'm holding on to college like velcro. tonight my feelings side with the latter.
i was talking to my mom this weekend and she said something about me needing to be ready to go the day after graduation because she had already reserved a uhaul and taken off of work to move me home - to which i thought, how strange. that's in 40 days. i'm not ready for that.
yeah, yeah, i'm being overly melodramatic about the entire thing i realize. has my readership of 2.4 people ever known me to be anything different? but it just seems like everyone's so damn excited about graduating and starting their lives - they're "over college." is something wrong w/ me because i'm not over it? maybe i've been living in ignorant bliss, but the last 4 years of my life have been idyllic. why would you want to change that?
don't know where all of this is stemming from...i suppose i can forsee that i'm on the verge of a quarter-life crisis. and for those of you attending graduation events/those of you who have any contact w/ me during that last week...there will be tears. lots of them.
however, the best man in my life made me feel a little bit better about my predicament. tonight, my daddy said, "well shan, would you rather be the girl who was really upset about college being over because you absolutely loved it and had the time of your life, or do you want to be the girl who was ambivalent about the whole thing because college was simply a means to an end?" so much wisdom pops. you're right, because i've already been that other girl before. and it's something i always regretted.
you see, i did things completely different in college. i broke the rules (sorry daddy.) i stayed out all night long. i drove to college station in the middle of the night. hell, i drove across the country. i dressed up for every theme party imaginable (delts of hazard to swimsuits and cowboy boots.) i went to concerts all over texas and screamed like the groupie i am. i got a whole glove compartment full of speeding tickets. i joined a sorority. i drank myself under the table on special holidays like diadeloso. i danced every chance i got. i lived in two different foreign countries and even picked up a foreign language along the way! i went out with a slew of different boys. i dealt with a substantial amount of relationship drama due to aforementioned boys. i sang karaoke often, or at least along w/ the piano man. i walked the catwalk in front of my house. i had long, life altering conversations on the bear trail. i got visiting hours violations. i went to baseball games, basketball games, football games, lacrosse games, tennis matches, and even some rugby. i went to places like west, texas (no, not my neck of the woods - the actual town) @ 4 a.m. just to get kolaches. i met my best friends, the loves of my life. and more than anything, i loved with my whole heart and nothing less.
yeah i realize i'm going to pay a price for that one, but in the end, i think it was worth it. ;)
there's absolutely not one thing i would do differently about the past 4 years and i couldn't be more proud to say that.
no regrets.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
a perplexing phenomenon...
so don't tell anyone, but i'm taking a personal day today. yes, i realize that spring break was indeed last week and what kind of vain, narcissistic person needs a vacation from a vacation?? well, sad, but true...yours truly needed one. i spent all day today perusing the racks at barnes n noble fine booksellers (yes, this is my sanctuary) and i began to reflect on some issues that have been bothering me lately. yes, i'm concerned about the 2008 presidential election, the impending economic crisis, the big question of sustainable energy, world poverty, and the premiere of great shows like greek and the hills (not to mention the release of sex and the city: the movie!)...but one thing i'm wondering about right now is my negative impression on some of my girlfriends' boyfriends. haha wow cumbersome topic i know...
here's the deal: i was recently informed by one of my best friends on the face of the earth that her ex-boyfriend (we'll call him johnny to keep him anonymous) didn't like me. you see johnny is of the opinion that once you enter into the bonds of a relationship, you should immediately forgo maintaining all other relationships in your life...i.e. cut the friends. is this completely bizare or f'ed up to anyone else? talk about controlling???? i bet holy matrimony with johnny-be-good will be an absolute blast.
johnny had a real problem with yours truly especially because he deamed me as a corruptable influence upon his sweet, precious, innocent little girlfriend because in his words, "shannan's crazy!" no, johnny hasn't been the first boyfriend to feel this way, nor will he probably be the last. so since this is my own personal blog, i have the liberty to blast all of johnny's theories.
a) johnny, much to your dismay, i'm not tara reid. yes, i love to go to honkytonks. yes, i LOVE to dance. yes, i have an infamous flirtatious personality - if someone offers to buy me a drink, you bet i'll take him up on it. and yes, like any true texas girl, i've got a feisty streak in me a mile long. but under absolutely no circumstances do i push the moral envelope. i don't bring guys home with me, i don't flash people because i'm going commando, and i don't have random "sleepovers" (which is more than i can say for you.)
b) johnny i'm 22 years old and i'm in college for pete's sake! what do you expect me to do, sit at home and cross stitch? someone needs to listen to "born to run" again...
c) johnny, my friend tells me that you thought i was jealous of y'all's relationship. hahaha jealous of that emotional trainwreck? i think not. besides you're a washed up old fraternity boy still trying to "live the dream." hold on to it, hold on.
d) and this is the most important thing, johnny. i heard you think i "sabotage" relationships. to use a mccain expression, i'm gonna give you a little straightalk here. if you treat one of my friends like shit, i'm going to let my friend know that i can blatantly see it. not only will i let her know about it, but i probably won't like you very much anymore either. why am i so defensive when it comes to my friends? here's why johnny: because when you treat her like scum, she comes running to me and in the midst of her salty tears, i have to put the pieces of her broken little heart back together again.
so there you go johnny...you don't like me, but you know what, i don't like you either.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
ramblings.
well i've been blog absent for awhile so i thought it was time for a tuesday update (unfortunatly, i'm not as hilarious and witty as tina fey...so bear with me.)
in entertainment news, i am damn near sick of this writer's strike! don't get me wrong, i'm in total 100% complete support of the writers, but this has got to end! it's time for the big executives and production companies to bite the bullet and give the brilliant scribes what they're asking for. not only is the economy suffering over this, but so is television, and for the love of the oscars - please - good writing come back!!! (on a selfish note, if the academy awards ceremony does not happen, it will be the first time in 12 years that i will not be able to hold my infamous oscars soiree.) as for my oscar picks, i'll give a full prediction list when noms are announced, but for now i'm still on my atonement kick.
though television has taken a major blow (tila tequila anyone...no pun intended, i swear), leave it up to democratic debates in murtle beach to be one hell of a drama fest. i watched the thing twice and i'm not even a democrat! (don't read too much into this, i'm not a republican either.) i have to say that i was mesmerized by this dance of one-up-manship. geez, these people have a talented research team. however, i couldn't help but have a strange, newfound sympathy for "man of the south" john edwards; for pete's sake, they didn't let the man get a word in edgewise. i loved his line, "correct me if i'm wrong, but is this a debate between two people?"
in the wide world of sports, i have been hesitant to write lately because i have been lamenting the end of college football (which always causes a die-hard to have the blues) and even more greviously - the downfall of my beloved dallas cowboys. as i watched the horrors of the playoff loss to the giants, sitting on my couch in my number 9 jersey, i can't help but think that a little piece of my heart died too. haha ok ok...so the sun came up and here we are almost two weeks later. i'm not going to be bitter and pin the whole thing on j.s., but come on boys, this was supposed to be the return to glory!! oh well, i'm moving on to basketball season, which i'm very happy to report that both of my baylor bears teams (men's and women's) are ranked in the top 25 this week!!!! y'all, this is huge! this is the first time the boys have been ranked since 1969!!!!!
oh yeah, i'm reading several things of note currently if you'd like to read along with me and we can confer:
the north and south - john jakes (what can i say, i'm a civil war era junkie and jakes is a master of the historical novel. only on page 195 of 812, but so far, so good. the historical background is pretty detailed. this is a must-read for antebellum aficianados.)
eat, pray, love - elizabeth gilbert (this book is the first in mine and jessica's book club series. it was recommend to me by a dear friend of mine and even though i haven't gotten too far into it. i absolutely love it so far. if you're into international traveling/wanderlust soul searching, this book is for you.)
the seven pillars of health - don colbert (i got this book from my dad's personal collection and though it's a health read, i find it to be very smart and informative. i'm hesitant to put this in print because then i'll truly have to be accountable for it, but i'm giving it a go with this holisitic, organic, detoxification thing. it's more of a science experiment than anything else. on that note, i also recommend reading skinny bitch by rory friedman and kim barnoin for these purposes.)
wow. i had a lot to say. hopefully i won't let it get to this point next time. a happy tuesday to all!
in entertainment news, i am damn near sick of this writer's strike! don't get me wrong, i'm in total 100% complete support of the writers, but this has got to end! it's time for the big executives and production companies to bite the bullet and give the brilliant scribes what they're asking for. not only is the economy suffering over this, but so is television, and for the love of the oscars - please - good writing come back!!! (on a selfish note, if the academy awards ceremony does not happen, it will be the first time in 12 years that i will not be able to hold my infamous oscars soiree.) as for my oscar picks, i'll give a full prediction list when noms are announced, but for now i'm still on my atonement kick.
though television has taken a major blow (tila tequila anyone...no pun intended, i swear), leave it up to democratic debates in murtle beach to be one hell of a drama fest. i watched the thing twice and i'm not even a democrat! (don't read too much into this, i'm not a republican either.) i have to say that i was mesmerized by this dance of one-up-manship. geez, these people have a talented research team. however, i couldn't help but have a strange, newfound sympathy for "man of the south" john edwards; for pete's sake, they didn't let the man get a word in edgewise. i loved his line, "correct me if i'm wrong, but is this a debate between two people?"
in the wide world of sports, i have been hesitant to write lately because i have been lamenting the end of college football (which always causes a die-hard to have the blues) and even more greviously - the downfall of my beloved dallas cowboys. as i watched the horrors of the playoff loss to the giants, sitting on my couch in my number 9 jersey, i can't help but think that a little piece of my heart died too. haha ok ok...so the sun came up and here we are almost two weeks later. i'm not going to be bitter and pin the whole thing on j.s., but come on boys, this was supposed to be the return to glory!! oh well, i'm moving on to basketball season, which i'm very happy to report that both of my baylor bears teams (men's and women's) are ranked in the top 25 this week!!!! y'all, this is huge! this is the first time the boys have been ranked since 1969!!!!!
oh yeah, i'm reading several things of note currently if you'd like to read along with me and we can confer:
the north and south - john jakes (what can i say, i'm a civil war era junkie and jakes is a master of the historical novel. only on page 195 of 812, but so far, so good. the historical background is pretty detailed. this is a must-read for antebellum aficianados.)
eat, pray, love - elizabeth gilbert (this book is the first in mine and jessica's book club series. it was recommend to me by a dear friend of mine and even though i haven't gotten too far into it. i absolutely love it so far. if you're into international traveling/wanderlust soul searching, this book is for you.)
the seven pillars of health - don colbert (i got this book from my dad's personal collection and though it's a health read, i find it to be very smart and informative. i'm hesitant to put this in print because then i'll truly have to be accountable for it, but i'm giving it a go with this holisitic, organic, detoxification thing. it's more of a science experiment than anything else. on that note, i also recommend reading skinny bitch by rory friedman and kim barnoin for these purposes.)
wow. i had a lot to say. hopefully i won't let it get to this point next time. a happy tuesday to all!
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