it's a hard knock life.

we are such a sight for sore eyes aren't we? the above photos were taken approximately 15 minutes ago and they are real depictions (not acting) of what life is like for my room mate (stephani) and I this week.

yes, it is a friday night in sonora and we are stuck at home. for two recovering socialistas who ruled the nightlife in our past lives, this is a harsh reality. why are we so downtrodden you ask yourselves?

we are poor. dirt poor. poorer than dirt actually.

we just emptied our wallets out on the floor and began to count our money in order to see if we could scrounge up enough change to buy some food at the convenience store. perhaps maybe a taco at the corner stand? are you ready for the grand total???? 36 pesos and a stick of gum. i.e. this will get you about as far as a sam's choice dr. thunder and a bag of dorritos.

so we will once again turn to making our peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and kiss dancing the night away goodbye.

i know what you're thinking. "so you can't go out this weekend, no big deal...you could always stay in and watch tv or a movie." yes, oh yes, we could do that...IF WE HAD A FLIPPIN' TV!!!!

i'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that we won't be leaving the house all weekend either, since we have no mode of transportation and we probably couldn't even afford to take the taxi around the block. did i mention that it's still a blazing 100+ degrees here, so walking even the shortest distance will make you sweat buckets?

and the worst part, i won't even be able talk to anyone on the phone about my pathetic little weekend, because oh wait, i don't have a phone. :(

okay, okay...i'll stop venting. thanks for always letting me take things out on you my friends. i'm convinced that being temporarily destitute is an unbelievably eye-opening experience and something that everybody should have to endure at one time in your life. i think this is what daddy was talking about when he was rambling on and on about "those character buildin' experiences shan - they make ya who you arrre." (sorry pops, but you do have a drawl.)

for now, steph and i will go back to drowning in our hagen daas-induced misery and watch hours of youtube videos. (my favorite of the night so far? the saved by the bell music video where the girls jump off of platforms and sing "put your mind to it, go for it, come on and break a sweat! rock and roll! you ain't seen nothin' yet! ---- you know, jesse's caffeine pills incident!)

*i keep telling myself that someday this will be hilariously funny. someday, but not today.

inspired to say the least

never in my life did i think i'd want to be a teacher. not even once. my mamma was a teacher, and though she loved it, i just knew it wasn't the career for me. for one thing, it didn't pay nearly enough for the "lifestyle that I would presumptuously lead", for another, i was going to do something truly great, truly fascinating...not spend my time in a classroom with sweaty twelve-year-olds.

as i have realized over the years, i have been wrong about many things...and i think that this is one of them. though my career in education has lasted a mere six weeks, i have had so many experiences that have led me to believe that this is one of the greatest professions that exist.

as a teacher, you get to explore the creative depths of your brain as you indulge in planning lessons that will keep your students actively engaged. you get to teach another individual a valuable skill that he or she will actually utilize in everyday life! you get to witness that moment - that beautiful moment - when things finally click in their brains! when all of your efforts have been expended and all hope is lost...and suddenly there is that aha! moment when your student understands. but best of all, you get to build and cultivate a relationship, which is my favorite part of teaching.

the photo above was taken last week with my beginner 1A class. they speak very little english, but bless their hearts, they try so hard!!! at our language school, cycles run in patterns of 4 weeks in one level and then, a student either accelerates to the next level or stays at their current one. this changing of course means that you will inevitably change teachers as well. well, this particular class got together outside of class and surprised me on our last day together with a huge party! they brought a tres leches cake, tamales, chips, balloons, music - everything - and as they all hid in the dark, i walked into the classroom to hear, "SURPRISE! THANK YOU MISS SOFI!!! (in case you didn't know: here, my name is sofia...but i'll explain that in another post...) i said, "why did you all do this for me?" And they responded in their broken english, "because miss sofi, you're the best teacher we've ever had and we wanted to let you know." awwwww, cue the tears. "how can you ever, ever be a part of something that makes you feel like that?", i ask myself.

no, you will never make money being a teacher. you will never drive a nice car. you will never be invited to fancy parties, walk red carpets, or rub shoulders with the a-list. you won't vacation in the hamptons and you certainly won't wear louboutins. you'll want to give up, you'll be exhausted, and your patience will be tested at every opportunity. but you know what you will have...you'll have a purpose, a mission, a reason to go to work. your job will have a face, a name, and a personality. and on a daily basis, your efforts will be rewarded and your heart will be warmed.

finding a hairstylist in mexico: mission impossible.

so, i had my reservations about getting my hair done in mexico, but after much contemplation and analysis, i decided to step out on a limb this past week and go for it! what did i have to lose??? i did a lot of thorough investigative research surveying all of the local women i knew who had beautiful locks and i spent weeks inquiring about the best salons in the area...and after much thought, i decided to go with the most exclusive, priciest salon in all of hermosillo (because i thought, surely...surely, they won't screw it up...)

BIG MISTAKE.

there are some events in life (such as achieving that perfect shade of honey, wheat field blonde) that the language barrier just can't overcome my friend. i have never in my life cried after getting my hair done (okay, well maybe that time that i went to get an updo for the sweetheart banquet of 2000 and i came out looking like tammy faye baker at a quincenera...) but this was a dye job gone awry and yes, it made me cry. seriously, on what planet is it okay to dye someone's hair dark brown and put chunky white hi-lights in it because you said you wanted "algo natural"?????????

don't worry...i'm getting it fixed. if by "fixed" you mean having my room mates try to pull the color out "diy" a la a home hairkit. as i have learned over the last two months, there are some things they just do better in texas and this is most definitely one of them.

cutest little girl i've ever seen...

this is little miss emmalee crow. precious isn't she? i want my little girl to be like her someday...
i usually don't like making comments like that, but look at her!

if you consider yourself a christian, please read this.

NOTE: this is unlike any other post i have ever made before, so you'll have to bear with me. i tend to stay away from making this blog a religious diatribe, because that's just not who i am. i'm not a preacher. i'm not "in the ministry." i don't have a theology degree. i mess up repeatedly on a daily basis. and yes, i'm a little rough-around-the-edges. but what i'm about to write about is of utmost importance to me, so i really can't ignore it.

for those of you who have been keeping up with me through this blog or by other means, (primarily the internet - i LOVE your messages - keep them coming!) you know that I have been placed in a very unique situation down here in mexico. i have been tested in every way imaginable, but specifically, spiritually. currently, i live in an environment with a buddhist, several atheists, agnostics, mormons, and people who are just generally seeking anything to make themselves feel better. religious discussions happen almost everyday and i am finding that i, as a christian, stand alone.

there is another christian here; however, he feels the need to scream at our coworkers and tell them that they have no soul and that they are going to rot in hell. though this is hardly tolerable behavior, the worst part is that he is an avid user of drugs and has a sexual appetite for anything that moves...so do you see what i'm getting at? a little case of the pot calling the kettle black as we like to say back in west texas.

i have been having many conversations into the wee hours of the morning with all of my house mates and this is the general consensus that i'm getting. at one time or another, they were all open to christianity, but because of two-faced, judgmental, condescending, hateful christians, they turned their back on the faith altogether. a few of them have shared their stories with me and they have caused my heart to break. these people have experienced everything from the church telling them that they could no longer attend services due to their assumed sexual orientation, leaders of the church "kicking out" their family because a mother chose to divorce her husband after taking years of physical abuse, sexual abuse from the pastor, pure hatred and antagonization from "christian" classmates at school just because they were different, and more. would you ever want to be affiliated with an institution when you had experienced these things? i wouldn't.

not only have all of these heinous things transpired in their lives IN THE CONFINES OF THE CHURCH, but they have never even witnessed an actual individual who put his or her faith into practice. not one. they say to me, "shannan, why would i want to be a christian when you are all no different than anybody else?"

if you know my history, you know that i have been going to church 3+ times a week since the day i was born - in the bible belt no less. i then chose to go to baylor university for college - don't even get me started about that. every time i turned a corner, i could attend a prayer meeting, go to a shane&shane concert, see a jesus is my homeboy t-shirt, have scripture recited to me, gather at common grounds to discuss theology, go to church camp at pine cove or ozark, join a bible study, save the children in darfur, go to the movies or have dinner with my christian life group. i want to make this point, there is nothing wrong with any of that, but let me assure you this: THAT IS NOT REAL LIFE. and if it is your life, you really need think about getting out of your incubator.

let me make it clear. i did not ask to be placed into this situation. i didn't sign up to go be a foreign missionary, i simply accepted a job. HOWEVER, i must be here for a reason. i have a real opportunity here...a chance to prove that authenticity and christianity can coexist. and i'm terrified. the legitimacy of christianity to these people might depend on how i act and what i say? how i live my life? how i react? how i treat others?

i have no idea what i'm getting myself into, but i am going to try from the depths of my heart to love these people. i mean, to really love them. despite their pasts, despite the decisions they have made, despite their current beliefs - i am just going to love them. i think one of the flaws with modern day evangelism is that the first objective is conversion. but i think to myself, how can you "save" someone without showing them compassion and displaying a genuine interest in their lives first?

if any of this has at all struck a chord with you, i need you to do two things. first of all, please pray that God gives me the strength, determination and foresight to be the right kind of christian to all of my friends here. pray that he gives me patience and willpower to keep on this task. pray for my friends here and that they have a desire to know more. second of all, if you consider yourself a christian, PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU - LIVE YOUR FAITH. STRAY FROM JUDGING PEOPLE. BE REAL. you have no idea how much this world needs that.

as always, i thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and prayers. in the darkest times, you have been my sustainability.

the virtues of an american woman

am i the only person who has ever misunderstood the attraction between antonio banderas and melanie griffith? i mean, here we have this devastatingly handsome, tempting zoro of a spanish man and he pledges his undying love to a total lunatic for 12 years? (sorry if you're a fan of mel, but she's on some crazzzzzy pills - not to mention her affinity for going under the knife.) in my own humble opinion, i always thought he could do much better.

well...today marks 23 days since i have been in mexico and if i have learned nothing else, i have learned that latin men are FREAKISHLY obsessed with blonde american women, and bonus points are awarded if you have blue or green eyes. yes, i fit that profile currently and i have witnessed everything from a construction crew acting like wild banshees as i stroll by to a full head-on collision caused by my other blonde friend (stephani) and i walking through an intersection. i knew i'd stand out here, but i didn't realize to what extent. it's like these men have never seen a gringa in person in their entire lives!!!! i have been told by many of my students that it is considered a huge status symbol in mexico if you are able to land an american chick (rubia of course) as your wife.

so if i don't happen to make it back to the states, rest assured that i have married into one of the mexican mafia families and i am being lavished and pampered with the finest of furs and homes in puerta vallarta, mexico city, and cozumel. along with driving that candy-apple red jag i always dreamed of...(you're supposed to laugh here.)

remember learning in your 8th grade history class about how cortes was able to take down the entire aztec empire because they believed he was god due to his lighter features? yeah, never understood how that could have possibly transpired, but after being treating like a golden goddess myself (ha), i can grasp this concept much better.

i won't go into much further detail (i know, i know...such scintillating material), but i just wanted to inform my audience of why the relationship between antonio and melanie works. simply stated, he sees past all of her transgressions because she has transfixed him with her american woman spell.