home to texas.

i've let this little blog of mine collect dust for sometime now, and i must say, it feels strange, awkward, and a little sad that we have to become reacquainted. i stopped writing in this forum for several reasons; namely because i didn't really have much internet access in mexico, but also because i don't even really know how to sum up the last 2 months of my life. quite honestly, i'm not sure any of you would believe it even if i told you.

let's just say that i left mexico roughly two weeks ago because i felt that i was in a situation where i could no longer stay. after a very intense discussion with my family, we collectively decided that it was time for me to return back to TEXAS. i'm not trying to be cryptic about telling you what all conspired, but i simply can't extrapolate on everything because i don't have the time/energy/or space.

i will always treasure my time spent in hermosillo and i will never forget the lessons i learned or the people i encountered. my room mates in sonora, well...you became my family. my students, you became my friends. i was unexplainably torn about my decision to leave you all and it still breaks my heart, but i think about y'all all the time. the imprint you left on my life has been immeasurable. i didn't really get a chance to say it like i wanted to, but thank you from the bottom of my heart.

all of that being said, i am OVER-THE-MOON happy about being back in the lone star state. i'm not sure if any of you have ever endured an experience where you've been completely removed from everything you've ever known for a pretty significant amount of time, but it will rock your world - for the better. right now, everything - EVERYTHING - is a luxury for me. sleeping in a comfortable, big sleigh bed. picking up the cell phone to call an old friend. taking a leisurely bath. going to bed at night knowing that i don't have to worry about a drug raid. I APPRECIATE IT ALL.

so what have i been up to since i got home?

well since i neglected my family for over 3 months, we've been spending some much-needed time catching up. as predicted, i missed out on a lot, but was never forgotten. andrew's bigger than ever, i think he's gained 60 pounds and 4 inches since i last saw him!!! he's still on the good 'ol bu football team and i'm so proud of him, especially concerning the big win last saturday! paige is maturing as well and i can't believe my baby sister is getting ready to get her driver's permit and is begging for her curfew to be extended (hey, she learned from the best.) bill & sheri are doing well too...about to celebrate the big 25th anniversary and daddy's returning home from cuba in february!!!! i think the whole town is going to give him a big welcome home party when he gets back, he's pretty missed around these parts. i am so blessed to have been born and raised in this family, i really could never ask for more.



i've also been afforded the chance to catch up with all my amazing, devoted, hilarious friends. i missed y'all so much, you will never know the extent to which i missed all of you! i never ever want to do life again without all of you in it. when i called each of you to tell you that i made the decision to stay in texas, you all cheered audibly and some of you even cried!!! i have coveted your prayer and support over the last few months like nothing else and you have delivered. i'm going to give credit where credit is due: i must thank jessica h., steve, amanda, alli, cori, brittany, jessica p., megan, wesley, crystal, leah, haley, heather, lucy, billy, and kently. y'all are the best, and if you ever need ANYTHING - you call me dangit!!!! i will never forget your loyalty or thoughtfulness.



and yes, i've been spending some time with a goodlookin' country boy named taylor jordan harris. though i have to compete with the jealous mistress known as baylor law school, we have somehow managed to eat at waco's finest restaurants, go to concerts, hang out in the hill country, camp out at state parks, and cheer on the bears! babe, thanks for putting up with my "quirky" habits and teaching me the correct way to skip a rock and start a fire. you are a good man.



i'm sure you're also wondering what the heck i'm doing with my life professionally too. some of you might be shocked, but i loved teaching so much so that i'm going to continue in the education field! though i'm working odd jobs all over town right now (yes, shallowater, it is good to see you again...) i'll be moving to san antonio come january to teach spanish and ESL with S.A.I.S.D.! and i'm sooooooooo excited!!!!! that being said, i'm also embarking on the biggest literary endeavor of my life in that i'm writing my first book. i plan to do freelance journalism projects on the side, but i'm putting most of my effort into this novel...40 pages down, ? to go!

what can i say, God works in mysterious ways, but He is so, so good. i really wouldn't have ever predicted this path for my life, but everything has turned out better than i could have ever imagined or planned. i'm so immensely grateful and i feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now. i just can't stop smiling. life really is that good.

it's a hard knock life.

we are such a sight for sore eyes aren't we? the above photos were taken approximately 15 minutes ago and they are real depictions (not acting) of what life is like for my room mate (stephani) and I this week.

yes, it is a friday night in sonora and we are stuck at home. for two recovering socialistas who ruled the nightlife in our past lives, this is a harsh reality. why are we so downtrodden you ask yourselves?

we are poor. dirt poor. poorer than dirt actually.

we just emptied our wallets out on the floor and began to count our money in order to see if we could scrounge up enough change to buy some food at the convenience store. perhaps maybe a taco at the corner stand? are you ready for the grand total???? 36 pesos and a stick of gum. i.e. this will get you about as far as a sam's choice dr. thunder and a bag of dorritos.

so we will once again turn to making our peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and kiss dancing the night away goodbye.

i know what you're thinking. "so you can't go out this weekend, no big deal...you could always stay in and watch tv or a movie." yes, oh yes, we could do that...IF WE HAD A FLIPPIN' TV!!!!

i'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that we won't be leaving the house all weekend either, since we have no mode of transportation and we probably couldn't even afford to take the taxi around the block. did i mention that it's still a blazing 100+ degrees here, so walking even the shortest distance will make you sweat buckets?

and the worst part, i won't even be able talk to anyone on the phone about my pathetic little weekend, because oh wait, i don't have a phone. :(

okay, okay...i'll stop venting. thanks for always letting me take things out on you my friends. i'm convinced that being temporarily destitute is an unbelievably eye-opening experience and something that everybody should have to endure at one time in your life. i think this is what daddy was talking about when he was rambling on and on about "those character buildin' experiences shan - they make ya who you arrre." (sorry pops, but you do have a drawl.)

for now, steph and i will go back to drowning in our hagen daas-induced misery and watch hours of youtube videos. (my favorite of the night so far? the saved by the bell music video where the girls jump off of platforms and sing "put your mind to it, go for it, come on and break a sweat! rock and roll! you ain't seen nothin' yet! ---- you know, jesse's caffeine pills incident!)

*i keep telling myself that someday this will be hilariously funny. someday, but not today.

inspired to say the least

never in my life did i think i'd want to be a teacher. not even once. my mamma was a teacher, and though she loved it, i just knew it wasn't the career for me. for one thing, it didn't pay nearly enough for the "lifestyle that I would presumptuously lead", for another, i was going to do something truly great, truly fascinating...not spend my time in a classroom with sweaty twelve-year-olds.

as i have realized over the years, i have been wrong about many things...and i think that this is one of them. though my career in education has lasted a mere six weeks, i have had so many experiences that have led me to believe that this is one of the greatest professions that exist.

as a teacher, you get to explore the creative depths of your brain as you indulge in planning lessons that will keep your students actively engaged. you get to teach another individual a valuable skill that he or she will actually utilize in everyday life! you get to witness that moment - that beautiful moment - when things finally click in their brains! when all of your efforts have been expended and all hope is lost...and suddenly there is that aha! moment when your student understands. but best of all, you get to build and cultivate a relationship, which is my favorite part of teaching.

the photo above was taken last week with my beginner 1A class. they speak very little english, but bless their hearts, they try so hard!!! at our language school, cycles run in patterns of 4 weeks in one level and then, a student either accelerates to the next level or stays at their current one. this changing of course means that you will inevitably change teachers as well. well, this particular class got together outside of class and surprised me on our last day together with a huge party! they brought a tres leches cake, tamales, chips, balloons, music - everything - and as they all hid in the dark, i walked into the classroom to hear, "SURPRISE! THANK YOU MISS SOFI!!! (in case you didn't know: here, my name is sofia...but i'll explain that in another post...) i said, "why did you all do this for me?" And they responded in their broken english, "because miss sofi, you're the best teacher we've ever had and we wanted to let you know." awwwww, cue the tears. "how can you ever, ever be a part of something that makes you feel like that?", i ask myself.

no, you will never make money being a teacher. you will never drive a nice car. you will never be invited to fancy parties, walk red carpets, or rub shoulders with the a-list. you won't vacation in the hamptons and you certainly won't wear louboutins. you'll want to give up, you'll be exhausted, and your patience will be tested at every opportunity. but you know what you will have...you'll have a purpose, a mission, a reason to go to work. your job will have a face, a name, and a personality. and on a daily basis, your efforts will be rewarded and your heart will be warmed.

finding a hairstylist in mexico: mission impossible.

so, i had my reservations about getting my hair done in mexico, but after much contemplation and analysis, i decided to step out on a limb this past week and go for it! what did i have to lose??? i did a lot of thorough investigative research surveying all of the local women i knew who had beautiful locks and i spent weeks inquiring about the best salons in the area...and after much thought, i decided to go with the most exclusive, priciest salon in all of hermosillo (because i thought, surely...surely, they won't screw it up...)

BIG MISTAKE.

there are some events in life (such as achieving that perfect shade of honey, wheat field blonde) that the language barrier just can't overcome my friend. i have never in my life cried after getting my hair done (okay, well maybe that time that i went to get an updo for the sweetheart banquet of 2000 and i came out looking like tammy faye baker at a quincenera...) but this was a dye job gone awry and yes, it made me cry. seriously, on what planet is it okay to dye someone's hair dark brown and put chunky white hi-lights in it because you said you wanted "algo natural"?????????

don't worry...i'm getting it fixed. if by "fixed" you mean having my room mates try to pull the color out "diy" a la a home hairkit. as i have learned over the last two months, there are some things they just do better in texas and this is most definitely one of them.

cutest little girl i've ever seen...

this is little miss emmalee crow. precious isn't she? i want my little girl to be like her someday...
i usually don't like making comments like that, but look at her!

if you consider yourself a christian, please read this.

NOTE: this is unlike any other post i have ever made before, so you'll have to bear with me. i tend to stay away from making this blog a religious diatribe, because that's just not who i am. i'm not a preacher. i'm not "in the ministry." i don't have a theology degree. i mess up repeatedly on a daily basis. and yes, i'm a little rough-around-the-edges. but what i'm about to write about is of utmost importance to me, so i really can't ignore it.

for those of you who have been keeping up with me through this blog or by other means, (primarily the internet - i LOVE your messages - keep them coming!) you know that I have been placed in a very unique situation down here in mexico. i have been tested in every way imaginable, but specifically, spiritually. currently, i live in an environment with a buddhist, several atheists, agnostics, mormons, and people who are just generally seeking anything to make themselves feel better. religious discussions happen almost everyday and i am finding that i, as a christian, stand alone.

there is another christian here; however, he feels the need to scream at our coworkers and tell them that they have no soul and that they are going to rot in hell. though this is hardly tolerable behavior, the worst part is that he is an avid user of drugs and has a sexual appetite for anything that moves...so do you see what i'm getting at? a little case of the pot calling the kettle black as we like to say back in west texas.

i have been having many conversations into the wee hours of the morning with all of my house mates and this is the general consensus that i'm getting. at one time or another, they were all open to christianity, but because of two-faced, judgmental, condescending, hateful christians, they turned their back on the faith altogether. a few of them have shared their stories with me and they have caused my heart to break. these people have experienced everything from the church telling them that they could no longer attend services due to their assumed sexual orientation, leaders of the church "kicking out" their family because a mother chose to divorce her husband after taking years of physical abuse, sexual abuse from the pastor, pure hatred and antagonization from "christian" classmates at school just because they were different, and more. would you ever want to be affiliated with an institution when you had experienced these things? i wouldn't.

not only have all of these heinous things transpired in their lives IN THE CONFINES OF THE CHURCH, but they have never even witnessed an actual individual who put his or her faith into practice. not one. they say to me, "shannan, why would i want to be a christian when you are all no different than anybody else?"

if you know my history, you know that i have been going to church 3+ times a week since the day i was born - in the bible belt no less. i then chose to go to baylor university for college - don't even get me started about that. every time i turned a corner, i could attend a prayer meeting, go to a shane&shane concert, see a jesus is my homeboy t-shirt, have scripture recited to me, gather at common grounds to discuss theology, go to church camp at pine cove or ozark, join a bible study, save the children in darfur, go to the movies or have dinner with my christian life group. i want to make this point, there is nothing wrong with any of that, but let me assure you this: THAT IS NOT REAL LIFE. and if it is your life, you really need think about getting out of your incubator.

let me make it clear. i did not ask to be placed into this situation. i didn't sign up to go be a foreign missionary, i simply accepted a job. HOWEVER, i must be here for a reason. i have a real opportunity here...a chance to prove that authenticity and christianity can coexist. and i'm terrified. the legitimacy of christianity to these people might depend on how i act and what i say? how i live my life? how i react? how i treat others?

i have no idea what i'm getting myself into, but i am going to try from the depths of my heart to love these people. i mean, to really love them. despite their pasts, despite the decisions they have made, despite their current beliefs - i am just going to love them. i think one of the flaws with modern day evangelism is that the first objective is conversion. but i think to myself, how can you "save" someone without showing them compassion and displaying a genuine interest in their lives first?

if any of this has at all struck a chord with you, i need you to do two things. first of all, please pray that God gives me the strength, determination and foresight to be the right kind of christian to all of my friends here. pray that he gives me patience and willpower to keep on this task. pray for my friends here and that they have a desire to know more. second of all, if you consider yourself a christian, PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU - LIVE YOUR FAITH. STRAY FROM JUDGING PEOPLE. BE REAL. you have no idea how much this world needs that.

as always, i thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and prayers. in the darkest times, you have been my sustainability.

the virtues of an american woman

am i the only person who has ever misunderstood the attraction between antonio banderas and melanie griffith? i mean, here we have this devastatingly handsome, tempting zoro of a spanish man and he pledges his undying love to a total lunatic for 12 years? (sorry if you're a fan of mel, but she's on some crazzzzzy pills - not to mention her affinity for going under the knife.) in my own humble opinion, i always thought he could do much better.

well...today marks 23 days since i have been in mexico and if i have learned nothing else, i have learned that latin men are FREAKISHLY obsessed with blonde american women, and bonus points are awarded if you have blue or green eyes. yes, i fit that profile currently and i have witnessed everything from a construction crew acting like wild banshees as i stroll by to a full head-on collision caused by my other blonde friend (stephani) and i walking through an intersection. i knew i'd stand out here, but i didn't realize to what extent. it's like these men have never seen a gringa in person in their entire lives!!!! i have been told by many of my students that it is considered a huge status symbol in mexico if you are able to land an american chick (rubia of course) as your wife.

so if i don't happen to make it back to the states, rest assured that i have married into one of the mexican mafia families and i am being lavished and pampered with the finest of furs and homes in puerta vallarta, mexico city, and cozumel. along with driving that candy-apple red jag i always dreamed of...(you're supposed to laugh here.)

remember learning in your 8th grade history class about how cortes was able to take down the entire aztec empire because they believed he was god due to his lighter features? yeah, never understood how that could have possibly transpired, but after being treating like a golden goddess myself (ha), i can grasp this concept much better.

i won't go into much further detail (i know, i know...such scintillating material), but i just wanted to inform my audience of why the relationship between antonio and melanie works. simply stated, he sees past all of her transgressions because she has transfixed him with her american woman spell.

how dare you!

don't want to take up too much of your time, but i'd like to state the obvious just so we can clear something up. it would be in your best interest if you would refrain from insulting or speaking ill of george harvey strait in my presence.

last night, i let a few of the teachers borrow my laptop and they decided to peruse my itunes collection. i don't mind letting people look through my stuff, but i always feel a tinge of vulnerability when people want to investigate my "top 25 most played songs." i mean, these 25 songs are so telling about an individual, almost like a window into your soul. well, my colleagues found it highly amusing and in bad taste that a large percentage of my top 25 was taken up by mr. strait. the eye rolling and under-the-breath comments got even worse when they discovered that i have every last one of george's music videos downloaded as well. one teacher even made the comment, "i just don't believe how women find him remotely attractive...he's just so...so...cheesy."

at this point, i'm fuming. what can i say boys, 56 number one hits don't lie. neither does being second only to elvis and the beatles in record sales. this man is a living legend.

don't even know where to start with this one...

yes, i have been blog-absent for quite sometime now, but i swear to you, it is within good reason. first of all, as all of you recent college grads can well attest to, once you start working, sleep becomes increasingly more appealing than spending time blogging into the wee hours of the morning. (i ought to know, i have to be at work at 7 a.m.! me! 7 a.m.! --- i know there are some of you reading this right now who are shaking your heads and laughing uncontrollably) secondly, as i might have mentioned to you, since i am dirt poor and have no money to speak of, i pirate my internet connection off of my neighbors - the gonzalez family.

hard to believe this, but i have now been in mexico for 11 days. i'd be lying to you all if i said that the last 11 days has not been the most difficult, challenging, doubtful, ________ (feel free to fill in the blank with any other pejorative word) days of my life. to begin with, i had the most hellacious travel experience in the history of mankind; here's a little sampling: left the states way earlier than ever intended, thus had no time to pack nor say goodbye (perhaps this was for the best? we all know how i am at goodbyes), left my wallet at our house in shallowater, which had my id, which i needed to board the flight that left in 20 min., missed two flights only to end up in phoenix, arizona at 12:24 a.m. only to learn that my luggage was still in dallas. i spent the "night" (four hours) at a comfort suites in phoenix only to wake up at 4:30 a.m. in order to catch a bus to nogalez, arizona. for those of you who have never been to nogalez, please take my advice and don't bother stopping off at this border town, it would be in your best interest. it was the first time of many that i thought i might perish on my little journey in mexico. once in nogalez, i spent an entire day at the mexican consulate's office trying to obtain my mexican visa, but for some reason they thought all of my documents were fake...thank you go english. i finally got the visa (i have to say it's a pretty cool looking document) and boarded a bus to hermosillo, sonora, mexico. everything that anyone has ever told you about riding the bus in mexico...well, it's all true. i won't take the time to explain my big "welcome" to the company, but let's just say it was pretty negative. (keep in mind this is on day 4 of the commute and still i only have the clothes on my back.)

all of the events i described above added with some unfinished business back home caused me to have quite the meltdown. i would like to take the opportunity now to thank my dearest allison greer, jessica hartsell, crystal boyd, kent truett, bill sowder, and the ever-so-wise taylor harris for coming to the rescue and dealing with my neurotic state. someday i hope to return the favor.

rest assured, things have gotten much better. although i often feel like i am in the peace corp. and living in what i like to call my bohemian bungalow, i know this was the right decision for me at this time in my life. i absolutely love teaching and my students are what gets me through each day. i have no idea if i will make ESL my career, but there is nothing like seeing that proverbial lightbulb go off in their heads when they finally understand something. it has been such a gift to share my life with them. i'm also learning a lot about people and diversity. you can take all of the sociology and anthropology classes that a university can offer, but i don't think anyone can understand the true meaning of that word until you have been thrust into the situation i have been placed in. as my own mother can tell you, it was a youthful wish of mine to be chosen as a cast member of the real world for many years and like most things in life, you should probably be careful what you wish for - because yes, i now star in real world: mexico! where seven strangers... picked to live in a house...work together and have their lives taped... to find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real...

of course we have all of the token characters: black gay buddhist man, cool avante garde chick who had a child at 19 and prefers to watch foreign films, rather handsome looking young man who prefers to distance himself from everybody because of a girlfriend back home, wild-as-hell boy from tennessee who loves to drawl and drone on and on about how if you're not living for the lord you're going straight to hell (yet he loves to smoke cigs and sleep with mexican senoritas), etc. where does shannan fit into the equation? you guessed it, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed little girl from the south who is still not jaded from the "ways of the world." who did the casting for this show? it couldn't have been more cinematic.

since all 15 of us work together, live together, and socialize together, you can be sure that the tempers flair. on a daily basis, i deal with conversations on religion (is there really a pre-disposed gene found in people to love jesus?), race (man, you don't know what it's like to be me...you don't know what it's like to grow up in the ghetto of atlanta!), money (oh shannan, you're just a spoiled little country club brat...) and the ever-growing sexual tension in the house (did you guys see x and y last night! omg, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other...let's take a poll to see how long it will take them to hook up...)

some days are worse than others. i'll be doing perfectly fine laying on the beach or strolling through the neighborhood and loving the fact that i'm in another country -- and then all of a sudden, the homesickness hits. it comes like a wave and is triggered by the smallest of things. a reminder of an old memory from college, a song that comes up on shuffle from the ipod, when i check to see which texas country artists are on tour and realize that this is the first time in close to 10 years that i won't be going to see any of them live in concert.

to reiterate, i need to be here right now. i have to do this for myself. i have to know that this was something i could do, not something that i always talked about doing. unlike some people, i can't reconcile not chasing a dream or ambition. i need to be here to experience personal growth, to become a stronger person. to gain wisdom...resilience...tenacity...follow through. i need to ask myself, what can i learn from this experience? why did God put this desire in my heart to be here? but more than anything to do with ME, this company needed a breath of fresh air. the morale was very low when i arrived and if i can somehow be apart of maximizing optimism and motivation here, this journey of mine was not in vain.

as always, i miss you all so much and i think about each of you every day. please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

just a tad bit intimidating i realize.

so i thought i would share with you daddy's new military photo from gitmo that he just sent me in the mail. immensely proud of you pops, but the lyrics to "cleaning this gun" can't seem to evade me. thanks for being such a badass.

the long-awaited, much-anticipated post.

alright, first of all, i must apologize for the title of this post because after typing it and re-reading it, i'm thinking, "shannan d'aun, how self-important are you that you think people are DYING to read about your life???" so yes, i apologize. second of all, warning: if you intend on reading this post in its entirety, you might want to go grab a cold one and make yourself nice and comfortable on your porch swing, because folks, it's going to be a long one.

i realize that some of you already know what's going on, but a lot of you think i'm still roaming around texas sleeping on couches and free-loading my life away.

rest assured: that baylor education is going to be utilized very soon; because that's right, i'm moving south of the border to monterrey, mexico!!!!!



i can see the wheels turning in your head. why would a girl accustomed to modern conveniences give up her car, her fantastic oh-so-amazing bed, her addiction to sonic, and the allure of a salary so that she could live in a third world country? the truth is, i'm ecstatic.

i've waited a long time to write this post because i wanted to make sure that everything was official, but i also had a hard time writing about it because i wasn't sure if i could actually go through with it. to enlighten you on my dilemma, i must take you back to a breezy afternoon, back in early april of this year. if you've been keeping up with my melodrama of a blog, you know that i really struggled this last semester of college to "find myself." everyone around me just seemed so sure of everything and for the very first time in my life, i was at a loss. the shannan sowder that i knew inside my head always had a plan, always had the next step of life ready and waiting in the wings, but not this time. for the first time in all of my 22 years, i was granted freedom - intoxicating, liberating, terrifying freedom. but because of the constant comparisons with my counterparts at baylor, i began to grow nauseatingly anxious that i didn't have my "ducks in a row yet." so i knelt to the pressure and began applying to every entry-level job from here to savannah, georgia just so that i could have something to tell everybody when they asked the inevitable question.

back to that day in april. as fate would have it, that day i walked past professor maxey parrish's door and noticed that he was busy typing away at his computer. i decided not to interrupt the man because i know how busy he is, plus i didn't want to intervene if he was in the middle of writing the next great american novel (because he will someday). he saw me slyly avoid his office and half-shouted, "shannan sowder, you get in here right now and update me on what you're doing with that life of yours!" oh no, not the question again. "well sir, i've been applying to a slew of jobs all over and i've landed five at this point, but it just doesn't feel right. something's off." to which he responded, "well of course something's off. that's not what you were intended to do. it's not your passion. tell me shannan, what would you do if you could do absolutely anything?" i said, "well maxey, you know if i could do anything, i'd see the world and then i'd write about it. but you know i can't do that. that's absolutely absurd. i'm just a little girl from shallowater, texas." maxey then let out a big sigh and chuckled to himself, "you know miss sowder, i'm disappointed in you. you used to be fearless. out of anybody i've taught, i figured you could handle this." so i walked out of his office that day stark-raving mad. but i also walked out of his office that day challenged and feeling hungry for something, a feeling i hadn't experienced for such a long time. you see, that 10 minute conversation, well to be honest - it was life altering. i walked out of castellaw that day a changed woman and maxey parrish, i blame you for all of it. okay not really. the truth is, you helped me realize that i was never lost. i knew what i wanted all along, but i simply wouldn't give myself the permission to do it.

that night i went the library and spent the next six hours researching jobs abroad. of course i wanted to do the hemingway thing and just write all of my thoughts down while sitting around some adorable little cafe amid a breathtaking landscape; but newsflash: i have no funds! i found listings for bartenders (hey i always thought i might be good at that), ship mates, baristas, au pairs, travel guides, and a lot of other unmentionable things; but the thing that really stood out to me was teaching. i've never aspired to be a teacher in any way shape or form, but it was the one job where i felt that i could actually make a difference. though i desperately wanted to return to europe, i soon learned that the red tape involved in getting a work visa and an international teaching certificate was just too lengthy. about five days into my research, i found a lead on a company called educaz based in monterrey and hermosillo, mexico. after reading the job description, visiting the company website, and talking to some of the employed teachers, i thought this could be a fit. after filling out a mountain of paperwork and going through a pretty intensive interview process, i finally got the job!!!!

i just think this is going to be so freaking cool. i'll be working in the business district of monterrey as a language consultant teaching conversational english to mexican business associates. i'm told that i will have some high school students as well, but for the most part, the program is aimed at working professionals who would like to expand their language skills so that they can compete in the international business market. though my job is obviously my top priority and the reason that i'm going to mexico, i'm also going for personal reasons. a) i've been trying to master the spanish language for the last two years and while i'm pretty conversational, i haven't achieved fluency yet. this venture should allow me to do that. b) because i know absolutely no one involved in this program nor anyone from monterrey, i'm going to have a lot of time on my hands to do some soul searching. i'm looking forward to doing a tremendous amount of writing and also exploring/strengthening my relationship with God. (let's face it, I'm going to have to depend on Him A LOT.)

though i can't wait for my big adventure to begin, i realize that everything will not be a bed of roses. what if i'm terrible at my job and they're forced to fire me? what if i get kidnapped in a dark alley never to see the light of day again? what if no one likes me? what if i'm miserable and lonely? that is the question that haunts me the most. i'm going to miss the people in my life desperately.

my family is my everything. you have made so many emotional, financial, and physical sacrifices so that you could make me happy. i know it's not easy for you to let me go, but you know that by letting me go, you are actually loving me the best way that you can. your endless support and prayers mean the world to me. how can i express my thanks to you for giving me both roots AND wings? i simply can't do it justice.

my friends, you are my rock. you are my cheerleaders, my sounding board, my wingwomen, my laughter. you are what keeps me sane and young. we know each other inside out and we have truly seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. thank you for loving me despite all of my flaws. i'm so, so, so proud of each and every one of you. how did i get so lucky to have such incredible people as friends? this summer especially, several of you have showed me that you would bend over backward to be there for me. someday, i hope that i can return the favor.

to one person in particular (you know who you are), i will miss you more than you will ever know or more than i care to admit. you have shown me that yes, those good 'ol texas boys really do exist and yes, there are people out there who know more about country music than me. thank you for teaching me about patience, but more than that, thank you for proving to me that i could have faith in someone again. thank you for letting me go chase my dreams and please know that i will always be supportive of yours.

now that i've managed to write the liner notes to my greatest hits album, i'm going to wind this thing down. i just wanted to catch everyone up on what's going on because i know at my attempt to be somewhat mysterious, i can be quite evasive (curse of the scorpio.) anyway, just know that i have no idea what the hell i'm doing and i love that. if any of you get the itch to come down to old mexico, please call me and we'll explore this territory together! i love you all. very much.

one tiny pearl of wisdom

so i just returned from the most fabulous, decadent wedding i have ever been to in my life! props to lindsey coffman macleod on pulling off this event because it was spectacular! everything from the full choir to the hamburgers and fries served at midnight - this bride truly thought of EVERYTHING! not to mention she looked like a supermodel...

anyway, i could go on about this wedding forever, but this post is in regards to something that happened at the wedding. at the reception, i was seated next to a baylor girl, one of my sorority sisters actually, and i had the best time catching up with her. in college, she and i ran in different social circles and while i knew her name and where she was from, i am embarrassed to admit that i knew little else about her. (sad, but true, when a sorority has 200 members, you don't truly get to know EVERYONE; sorry to bust the myth that we're all tight as family.)

okay, back to the story...this girl was just so warm and charming, telling me all about her love life, struggles with graduating, navigating post-college life, etc. i couldn't help but think, why didn't i get to know her better when we were in college? i really missed out on getting to know such an amazing person. then she said something that i don't think i'll ever forget.

this particular person was gone from baylor for an entire year due to studying abroad and then subsequently taking a semester off. she told me about how when she came back to baylor after taking such a long hiatus, she felt lost, excluded, and somehow disoriented about missing out on so much. then she said, "you know, when i came back to that first theta meeting after being gone for so long, you were the only person who talked to me. the only one. all you said was hi and you asked me how i was doing, but that meant so much to me. i've never forgotten that."

of course i don't remember this exchange, but i couldn't believe the effect that a mere commonplace greeting had on someone's life. this got me to thinking...how much power do we really have over improving each other's lives by doing the most menial tasks? a random phone call on a tuesday night, a handwritten thank you note to express your indebted gratitude, a smile and a wink, the fetching of a customized cup of coffee.

a quote that i keep close to my heart is "people will forget what you said and people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel." maya angelou, i think you were right about that.

i think i missed my calling in life...

yeah, i want to save the world and all, but right now all i want to do is be in alan jackson's "good time" video...



thanks for bringing back line dancing sir.

misguided offspring...

over the course of spending the last 2 weeks in washington d.c. i have had the lovely pleasure of making the acquaintance of several of the children of our country's political vips, and i have to say - about 95% of them are complete screw-ups! i'm normally not one to go throwing other people under the bus, but then again, if you would have witnessed the antics of howard dean's son last saturday night or those of al gore jr. the weekend before, you would question their sanity and morality too.

this got me to thinking...

why do accomplished, honorable, highly intelligent people breed imbeciles? no i'm not strictly referring to the two cases mentioned above (their contribution to society could be argued...), but i am referring to parents who have horrible, ungrateful children when the parents in question seem to be successful people.

what really bothers me is that all these kids haven't done a damn thing, they simply ride the coattails of their parent's hard work and accomplishments. they have loads of money, but they have no real respect for what it took to get their family in such a fortunate situation. however, to play devil's advocate (because i love doing so), i think there is a direct correlation between having a time consuming, demanding job and children suffering for lack of attention. in a lot of these scenarios, father dearest was probably never home, thus resulting in a subpar relationship with his family.

okay i'll stop analyzing, but these kids need to shape up. or else - i'm going to release my horribly incriminating pictures to the media for an undisclosed sum...

a tribute that is long overdue...

though father's day has officially come and gone, i still feel the need to dote on my father a bit. though i have been a daddy's girl for as long as i can remember, i have realized over the last year just how much william charles means to my life.

upon careful thought and recollection, i believe that my daddy is the best man on earth for the following reasons:

first of all, my dad has the most hilarious sense of humor. okay, so he's not joel mchale or conan, but he is just so darn funny. my whole family agrees that the man is a deadringer for clark griswald and if you ever experienced a sowder family vacation, you would know why. there was the time he became mesmerized at chicago's o'hare airport because he was standing behind "mr. t." at the ticket counter of american airlines or the time he split his pants at wrigley field because he was diving for a homerun ball with all the other 13-year-olds. but who could forget the cruise of '99 when pops sang "double vision" in the karaoke room (my personal favorite?) pretty much, he's a goofball. but i love it. and believe me, no one's a better storyteller.



second of all, my dad is as tough as nails. he's a man's man. and frankly, in the emasculated world we live in today, it's nice to know a man who possesses true grit. ever since i was born, my dad has worn wranglers, boots, his hat and driven a truck (some of my best memories are when he would take me out to drive that truck and we'd listen to randy travis and bocephus.) he's a marksman and he's wrestled alligators with his own two hands. he's played the gridiron sport his whole life and much to his delight, he is now living vicariously through andy. did i mention that his degree from a&m was in engineering and he is a real handyman? this must be where my love for a man who can put in some real manual labor comes from. what can i say, daddy's right on par with chuck norris.



next, my dad is so smart! upon meeting him, he might not strike you as brilliant (his dialect or countenance certainly wouldn't fit in with any ivy league school), it's a different kind of intelligence, something i like to call wisdom. i'm just so freaking proud of him. he has worked so, so hard to achieve all of the things that he has done (everything from operating a law firm, being elected to four consecuative terms as lubbock country district attorney - a feat no one has yet to attain, serving as a district judge, and finally spending 20+ years with the u.s. army.) amazing things of course, but i am proudest of my dad for using his knowledge to help people. his entire life, he has gone out of his way to aid others and i can't begin to tell you how many lives he has touched by helping out with a struggling family's rent payment or offering to work on a case pro-bono. of course daddy has never mentioned any of these things to me or anyone else, i only find out about such things when the individual tells me out of gratitude for my father's services. the man is so humble that is astonishes me. daddy always fought for the underdog and because of his selfless service and infinite wisdom, i think daddy resembles atticus finch.



finally, i love my daddy for just being him. daddy's a dying breed. he's just such a simple man. he doesn't care much for "new-fangled technology" or luxuries. if he has a place to rest his head at night and his family is provided for, he's more than happy. daddy has been blessed, but he has always given credit where credit is due, which is to say that he has placed all of his faith in God. he has such a strong, deep, and steady faith with the Lord. yes, he's wrestled with God, but he has never lost hope that a relationship with Jesus is absolutely the most important thing in a person's life. though daddy had to deal with a daughter who loved boys on motorcycles and had a talent for racking up speeding tickets all over texas, he never once yelled, he always gave me "the dissapointed look" which was enough to make me cry every time. it's from daddy that i learned about sacrifice, committment, and the power of a positive outlook on life. daddy also taught me about building and maintaining relationships, which he considers to be commandment. i have always, always, always been able to count on my daddy and he has never not been there for me. though i've had some broken hearts, i have never given up hope that a good man exists because i have witnessed the virtues of a good man my whole life.

not sure they make them like you anymore daddy, but i haven't given up yet. one thing's for sure, i'll always be your girl ;)

shannan's book club

yes i am a bookworm, unapologetically so, might i add. i am proud to be a nerd and i am proud to rendevouz at b&n until they kick me out each night.

i can't explain it, but i just love books - everything about them (the way they smell, the carefully contrived cover art, the anticpation and expectation, etc.). however, i think what i love most is that feeling of getting lost in the words, that entanglement that happens when you become so engrossed in the plot that you feel like you're scout finch, josephine march, or daisy buchannan. although it takes an excellent writer to achieve this for his or her reader, when there is a true writer-reader connection, it's the best kind of magic.

whether it is just plain sad or pathetic, the way that i can always guage whether a book has truly been inspiring/memorable/impacting is that moment when i'm about 10 pages from finishing it and i feel almost heartsick. it's like i've had this beautiful, wonderful, passionate, intimiate relationship and it's all ending. this is most evident when i embark upon reading a thick book (case in point: last summer reading all 1,083 pages of lonesome dove...oh larry mcmurtry, you knew exactly what you were doing.) but i will say this, the great thing about books, as apposed to irrovecable, final breakups w/ that tragically beautiful bad boy who made you believe that you were going to be the woman who unearthed his heart of gold (definitely not speaking from experience here ;) is that the book always invites you to come back for another go-around without the sting of abandonment.

so now that everyone thinks that i will inevitably become the old public librarian w/ a million felines, i'll divulge the real reason for this post. i have started my very own book club! though i read a lot in college, there really wasn't time for pleasure reading so i have had an overwhelming stack waiting for the moment when i finally graduated. since i am taking the summer "off" for sorts, i have accounted for reading a book every single week this summer, which means that by the end of the summer, i should have read 14 books.

so far, i have read hemingway's the sun also rises, a book called stolen innocence by elissa wall which chronicles her escape from warren jeffs and the flds, and today i finished john berendt's midnight in the garden of good and evil.

i just want to take some time to rave about that book, because it's seriouly the best thing i've read in quite a long time. of course it being southern gothic and appearing on the new york times bestsellers' list for 216 weeks was great, but berendt's eccentric characters that make the city of savannah, georgia come alive are just fantastic. i cannot believe this book is based on actual events! i would kill to have the opportunity that berendt had in writing his novel. i don't want to give anything away, but this is a must-read!



*also, i was so enthralled w/ this book, that i went out and rented the 1997 flick based on the book. being produced and directed by clint eastwood, i had very high expectations and the movie was really great. fascinating really. and kevin spacey, wow! he had that deep southern accent down to a tee.

starting the shack by william young tomorrow, but i'm open for any suggestions!

a salute to sex (and the city...)

yes darlings, it's time for me to give my thoughts on the sex & the city film! for those of you who have been living under a rock for the last year, you should know that this movie is of epic proportions for women everywhere. i'll admit that i was skeptical about the movie, i mean hello! how could anything be more divine than the television show...the writing is just brilliant!

HOWEVER,

i am pleased to announce that the movie rose above my expectations. it seems to be getting panned by the critics, but i think the story is geuniune and heartfelt. call me crazy, but as loyal fans of the satc franchise, we weren't going to the movie to think, analyze, and ponder life's greatest mysteries a la the constant gardener or hotel ruwanda. this movie was about love, fashion, girlfriends, and bringing together two people despite life's obstacles. i personally came away from the movie with a deeper appreciation for my female friendships, knowing that the women in my inner circle will always, always, always be there for me.

i'm not giving absolutely anything away, but you must go see this movie!

take me out to a dancehall...

i am more than thrilled to report that in less than two days, i will be driving to helotes, texas to see pat green live at john t. floore's country store!

i cannot wait...it's been such a long time since i was out on the texas country circuit (okay, like 2 weeks tops) but i've never been to floore's before and the place is legendary. i mean everybody has played there...

plus, i'm completing my list of texas dancehalls that i have to visit. i have embarked on my little journey of visiting all the historic dancehalls in texas because someone who knows me very well gave me the following book, to which i have been deeply entranced by:



all i know is that i have a lot of two-stepping to do! not to mention, i actually have a cute 'ol boy to accompany me ;) life doesn't get much better than that.

may day

i know, i know...i've preached the virtues of keeping a blog far and wide across this land (well to my closeknit little circle of friends anyway)and yet over the last month, i have let this little project of mine fall by the wayside. i do apologize profusely to my readership, but please understand, my life has been absolutely insane over the last 30 some-odd days...

why you ask?

here's the short list: last days at my old haunts, spending every last second of time w/ my besties, doing our things in waco, graduating from good 'ol bu, freaking out about the possibility of not graduating due to SPA 4372 (i'll have nightmares about that one for awhile), and my least favorite: saying goodbye to the people i love so dearly.

to put it simply and ever so sylvia plath-like, i haven't written in awhile because i haven't had the heart to write about anything. i wanted to write about the events of graduation for a long time now, but every time i tried, i just wanted to cry. cue the violin music. i'm such a freaking tool.

however, i am happy to report that the damage from the existential crisis has only been a code orange.

i was reminded of this last saturday night when my posse and i ended the night at appling's after a night of rambunctious carousing. cori began to cry, which naturally led to waterworks on my part. i just started thinking about all the nights that i had spent in that rickety old house...all the times we'd watched that amazing journey live dvd and sang our hearts out w/ a double shot of hot damn, all the conversations that we'd had well past 4 a.m., all the bottlecaps we'd stolen from the boys. i swear i'd been to that house on 15th and daughtrey about a thousand times...so i cried because that piece of my life was over and it's something i'll never get back.

in the midst of my salty tears, appling looked at me and started singing an old hank williams' classic "there's a tear in your beer..." to which got me laughing.

and then he said the following: "come on shan, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." i don't know about you folks, but i wanted to punch him in the face. this is the kind of shit they print on bumperstickers or tell you when you're devastated over leaving your week-long summer camp at angelo state.

but you know what, this is some unbelievably infinite wisdom. i was telling someone just the other day that i had the best college experience of anyone i had ever known, and for once, i'm really not embellishing the truth. i really did.

so you know what, i'm going to smile because it happened. trust me, i've got the pictures to prove it...

life is funny that way.

well this is one entry that i never expected to make, i can assure you of that. in my wildest dreams i never thought it would be april 24 of my senior year of college and i wouldn't have my plan, my ducks in a row. i really do apologize to those of you who have had to listen to my incesant ranting over the last few weeks about how bleak my future looks.

well you'll be glad to know that i've turned a corner. i'm by no means "footloose and fancy free," but I have come to grips with the fact that i don't have to have it all figured out.

for those of you who dismiss my lack of plans as pure laziness, i can assure you that that is not the case. i've already been on 3 job interviews and i currently have 5 job offers in texas on the table. i know what you're thinking, just take the job already! however, i simply can't do it. i have a dream and i'm not going to give up on it without trying. unlike a lot of people, i can't live my life always wondering what could have been. the thought of being 40 years old and realizing "i should have gone after this but now it's just too late" makes my stomach churn.

so here i am left with this crazy ambition to be in the literary business. despite the plunging economy and all allowances being aborted in the very, very near future - i would still rather be poor as a church mouse living in my one room apartment knowing NO ONE, but living life than taking the easy route. absolutely no offense to those of you who are taking business jobs in dallas or houston, but i just know it in my bones that i wasn't meant for that.

in the midst of my angst and despair, i started cleaning out my closet and i came across a box of magazine clippings that i had saved. because i save everything that has ever had just one ounce of meaning for me, i have boxes of this stuff. lo and behold, the first article i came across was a backrounder in W magazine about my beloved candace bushnell. for those of you who don't know who she is, shame on you. but on the offchance that you're not certifiably fanatic with the series known as sex and the city like i am, she was the creator of it all. pretty much, candace bushnell is carrie bradshaw. pretty much, candace bushnell is amazing to me.

in the article she was giving advice about women achieving professional achievement and having a sense of value. but my favorite part of the article was when she talked about her early years before making it big. she told of how she rented a studio in brooklyn for $300 a month only to get evicted, of how she used to stand in the ailes at the grocery store and sob because she couldn't afford to eat, of how she checked her bank account only to find that the balance was $2.58. then one day in her thirties!, it happened. she got the job at the New York Observer and her life changed dramatically. as unbelievably crazy as it is, i think this all sounds wonderful. so much so, that i want to try it out myself.

that being said. NO, i don't know concretely what i'm doing when i graduate yet. but that's okay. God's taking care of me and i have faith in that. he won't abandon me or forsake me and somehow this is all i need to forge ahead.

[sidenote: mamma would skin me alive for mentioning Jesus and sex and the city in the same blog posting, but i'm not going to refrain.]

shannan's favorite things

well, i'm currently relaxing and watching desperate housewives of new york so i figured i'd post something. unfortunatly, i can't stand not to multi-task!

so i had the brilliant idea to rave about some of my favorite products. i figured if oprah gets to do it, why can't i? so below are items that have been roadtested and have proved tried and true consistently...i swear by all of them!



i've been using philosophy product for about the last year and i cannot say enough about their line! i highly reccomend hope in a jar, but if nothing else you MUST try their shampoo/bath/shower gel combos! my favorite is amazing grace, which is a lovely floral, but just yesterday i put in an order to sephora for red velvet cake.



i'm not exaggerating when i say that i drink a bottle of vitamin water almost every day. i think this stuff has magical healing properties and i promise they have a cure for any ailment! hangover, loss of focus, energy depletion - everything! don't be fooled by the imposters; this stuff is the genuine article. besides, who doesn't love the witty little descriptions on the label!



tyler candles are amazing! first of all, they're very reasonably priced and second, they last forever! i have yet to try a candle that burns better or produces such a strong scent. personal favorites include: twentyfourseven glam, wisteria lane, ira jean, and french market.



i've been using this stuff since about 5th grade, but i honestly don't think you can find anything better. burt's is incredibly moisturizing and i love the fresh minty flavor - perfect for kissable lips! i'll be using it forever.



nars the multiple in orgasm is definitely a cult favorite and it's easy to understand why. it's a universally flattering shade and you can wear it on your eyes, cheeks AND lips!



anyone who knows me knows that i will eternally prefer written correspondence over emails. it's definitely a lost art that i intend to keep alive! i love this brand waste not paper because the colors and prints are just fabulous.



aviators are my favorite and nobody does them better than ray ban. definitely an investment, but totally worth it.



cowboy boots are one of my staples and the best i've found come from a little store in santa fe called back at the ranch. they do cost an arm and a leg, but you will wear them forever! i don't own this gold pair, but i wish i did!



another one of my staples is a red lip and though many people claim they can't pull it off, i love it! there's nothing more classy or glamorous. my favorite way to wear it is w/o a stitch of eye makeup except for mascara and then a good stain. my favorite is benefit's benetint.



i just love pashmina, someday i hope to own one in every color. they just really complete an outfit and they're great used as a scarf or a wrap. i never leave the house without a pashmina, red lipstick, and a good book!

thoughts on a sunday night.

i definitely shouldn't be writing on my blog right now. shame on me. i have the biggest spanish paper of the enitre semester due tomorrow, not to mention my freaking senior portfolio (a project that's been 4 years in the making)has to go off to the printer on TUESDAY!!!!!

yeah it's safe to say that anna's interpretation of my pregnancy dream is dead-on accurate...someone's been procrastinating. for those of you who aren't familiar with finding the meaning of dreams, i was informed by a credible source that the reocurring dream i keep having about being full-blown 9 months pregnant is directly associated with putting things off. who knew?

anyway, the last staple that's holding my sanity together right now is my discovery of pandora.com. you can create your very own radio stations based on your favorite artists and have them saved forever! best thing since sliced bread if you ask me. my personal recommendation: type in amos lee.

so yes, while i'm listening to the sexy, ubelievable voice of amos sing "colors" here in the moody library computer lab, i have currently typed one page of my paper. the truth is, i've just got other things on my mind.

like my looming gradutaion.

i must be one hell of a headcase because my feelings are so contradictory on the subject that it is really unbelievable. one day i'm so sick of school i can hardly stand it, the other i'm holding on to college like velcro. tonight my feelings side with the latter.

i was talking to my mom this weekend and she said something about me needing to be ready to go the day after graduation because she had already reserved a uhaul and taken off of work to move me home - to which i thought, how strange. that's in 40 days. i'm not ready for that.

yeah, yeah, i'm being overly melodramatic about the entire thing i realize. has my readership of 2.4 people ever known me to be anything different? but it just seems like everyone's so damn excited about graduating and starting their lives - they're "over college." is something wrong w/ me because i'm not over it? maybe i've been living in ignorant bliss, but the last 4 years of my life have been idyllic. why would you want to change that?

don't know where all of this is stemming from...i suppose i can forsee that i'm on the verge of a quarter-life crisis. and for those of you attending graduation events/those of you who have any contact w/ me during that last week...there will be tears. lots of them.

however, the best man in my life made me feel a little bit better about my predicament. tonight, my daddy said, "well shan, would you rather be the girl who was really upset about college being over because you absolutely loved it and had the time of your life, or do you want to be the girl who was ambivalent about the whole thing because college was simply a means to an end?" so much wisdom pops. you're right, because i've already been that other girl before. and it's something i always regretted.

you see, i did things completely different in college. i broke the rules (sorry daddy.) i stayed out all night long. i drove to college station in the middle of the night. hell, i drove across the country. i dressed up for every theme party imaginable (delts of hazard to swimsuits and cowboy boots.) i went to concerts all over texas and screamed like the groupie i am. i got a whole glove compartment full of speeding tickets. i joined a sorority. i drank myself under the table on special holidays like diadeloso. i danced every chance i got. i lived in two different foreign countries and even picked up a foreign language along the way! i went out with a slew of different boys. i dealt with a substantial amount of relationship drama due to aforementioned boys. i sang karaoke often, or at least along w/ the piano man. i walked the catwalk in front of my house. i had long, life altering conversations on the bear trail. i got visiting hours violations. i went to baseball games, basketball games, football games, lacrosse games, tennis matches, and even some rugby. i went to places like west, texas (no, not my neck of the woods - the actual town) @ 4 a.m. just to get kolaches. i met my best friends, the loves of my life. and more than anything, i loved with my whole heart and nothing less.

yeah i realize i'm going to pay a price for that one, but in the end, i think it was worth it. ;)

there's absolutely not one thing i would do differently about the past 4 years and i couldn't be more proud to say that.

no regrets.

march recap

now that april fool's day is in aprox. 1 hour, i figured i'd take a look at how the month of march played out. the whole thing was really a whirlwind seeing as though i lived out of a suitcase 70% of the time. there was vegas, lubbock, horseshoe bay, luckenbach, and austin; but my personal favorite was my time spent in san antone.

as the pictures below can attest to, jess and i always know how to have a good time in alamo city.



this is jess and i getting ready for a night out on the town. but not just any old night, this was on the day of saint patrick's! let me assure you that we were the toast of the town in our old favorite haunt pat o'briens. i love being irish...



and the night continues at rita's...



that marg was so freakin' good.



and this is "flair" that i woke up to sitting by the bed the next morning. the remnants suggest that we had a grand time.

in addition to st. patty's day, i also went to a house party out in china spring that proved to be every bit as good as those i remember from the good 'ol days at shs. i found this great little boutique on south congress in austin called tresoro's, which has the most amazing mexican treasures...definitely going to stock up there for the future apt. i also finally finished rhett butler's people, which is extraordinary!!!

things to look forward to for the month of april:

*helping megan plan her fabulous wedding!
*chilifest in snook, texas with all my tech girlfriends(look for a full review of all the shows next week!)
*interviews in birmingham, nashville, and atl! and finalizing future plans!
*gavin degraw's first album in a million years! (yes, i'm on the street team...)
*the final four! hello!

best quote i've heard in a long time.

so i have to credit my friend crystal for digging up this old quote, but it's so damn genius that i couldn't resist putting it up.

"life in lubbock, texas, taught me two things: one is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."---butch hancock

a perplexing phenomenon...

so don't tell anyone, but i'm taking a personal day today. yes, i realize that spring break was indeed last week and what kind of vain, narcissistic person needs a vacation from a vacation?? well, sad, but true...yours truly needed one. i spent all day today perusing the racks at barnes n noble fine booksellers (yes, this is my sanctuary) and i began to reflect on some issues that have been bothering me lately. yes, i'm concerned about the 2008 presidential election, the impending economic crisis, the big question of sustainable energy, world poverty, and the premiere of great shows like greek and the hills (not to mention the release of sex and the city: the movie!)...but one thing i'm wondering about right now is my negative impression on some of my girlfriends' boyfriends. haha wow cumbersome topic i know...

here's the deal: i was recently informed by one of my best friends on the face of the earth that her ex-boyfriend (we'll call him johnny to keep him anonymous) didn't like me. you see johnny is of the opinion that once you enter into the bonds of a relationship, you should immediately forgo maintaining all other relationships in your life...i.e. cut the friends. is this completely bizare or f'ed up to anyone else? talk about controlling???? i bet holy matrimony with johnny-be-good will be an absolute blast.

johnny had a real problem with yours truly especially because he deamed me as a corruptable influence upon his sweet, precious, innocent little girlfriend because in his words, "shannan's crazy!" no, johnny hasn't been the first boyfriend to feel this way, nor will he probably be the last. so since this is my own personal blog, i have the liberty to blast all of johnny's theories.

a) johnny, much to your dismay, i'm not tara reid. yes, i love to go to honkytonks. yes, i LOVE to dance. yes, i have an infamous flirtatious personality - if someone offers to buy me a drink, you bet i'll take him up on it. and yes, like any true texas girl, i've got a feisty streak in me a mile long. but under absolutely no circumstances do i push the moral envelope. i don't bring guys home with me, i don't flash people because i'm going commando, and i don't have random "sleepovers" (which is more than i can say for you.)

b) johnny i'm 22 years old and i'm in college for pete's sake! what do you expect me to do, sit at home and cross stitch? someone needs to listen to "born to run" again...

c) johnny, my friend tells me that you thought i was jealous of y'all's relationship. hahaha jealous of that emotional trainwreck? i think not. besides you're a washed up old fraternity boy still trying to "live the dream." hold on to it, hold on.

d) and this is the most important thing, johnny. i heard you think i "sabotage" relationships. to use a mccain expression, i'm gonna give you a little straightalk here. if you treat one of my friends like shit, i'm going to let my friend know that i can blatantly see it. not only will i let her know about it, but i probably won't like you very much anymore either. why am i so defensive when it comes to my friends? here's why johnny: because when you treat her like scum, she comes running to me and in the midst of her salty tears, i have to put the pieces of her broken little heart back together again.

so there you go johnny...you don't like me, but you know what, i don't like you either.

bring it on boilermakers!

11th seed. thursday night. washington d.c. first time in the tournament since 1988.

so proud!

i've got a crush on dr. drew!

home again (by the grace of God)

well i finally got back to texas last night from sin city and i gotta say - i feel as though i've been hit by a mack truck. i'm just so exhausted and i don't know how people live this lifestyle all the time! 3 nights nearly did me in...

or course there were the celebrity sitings (ben stiller, mike tyson, hulk hogan, kellie pickler, and fallout boy), the dinners at the belagio, the hilarity that was australian hunks: thunder from down under, and the constant admiration of over 130,000 middle-aged men who were attending the homebuilders and construction convention ($700 tables always available at our discression!)

but between stops at prive, pure, the palms, and pussycat dolls lounge - along with $17 cosmos, wearing the most horrendously painful stilletos for 8 hours straight, and losing some serious change at the blackjack tables - i'm not sure living life in the fastlane agrees with me. can i keep up? of course - and you can bet your bottom dollar on that. do i enjoy wearing my boots and hanging out on the back porch at george's more? you better believe it!

TEXAS PRIMARY!

it is finally time for texas to have a say in the 2008 presidential election and i couldn't be happier! my case of political fever only increased after visiting d.c. last weekend and i must say that i'm so anxious to see what happens tonight. the reason that this election excites me so much is that over the last few years, political activism (especially among my age demographic) has dissipated in such a way that it has produced a general sentiment of complete and utter apathy.

for the first time, so many people care about our electorial process and i think that's a good thing. no, i know it's a good thing.

so whether you're democrat, republican, libertarian, or you think kinky would've made one hell of a president; GO VOTE!

* the pictures are from the john mccain town hall meeting in waco last night.