may day

i know, i know...i've preached the virtues of keeping a blog far and wide across this land (well to my closeknit little circle of friends anyway)and yet over the last month, i have let this little project of mine fall by the wayside. i do apologize profusely to my readership, but please understand, my life has been absolutely insane over the last 30 some-odd days...

why you ask?

here's the short list: last days at my old haunts, spending every last second of time w/ my besties, doing our things in waco, graduating from good 'ol bu, freaking out about the possibility of not graduating due to SPA 4372 (i'll have nightmares about that one for awhile), and my least favorite: saying goodbye to the people i love so dearly.

to put it simply and ever so sylvia plath-like, i haven't written in awhile because i haven't had the heart to write about anything. i wanted to write about the events of graduation for a long time now, but every time i tried, i just wanted to cry. cue the violin music. i'm such a freaking tool.

however, i am happy to report that the damage from the existential crisis has only been a code orange.

i was reminded of this last saturday night when my posse and i ended the night at appling's after a night of rambunctious carousing. cori began to cry, which naturally led to waterworks on my part. i just started thinking about all the nights that i had spent in that rickety old house...all the times we'd watched that amazing journey live dvd and sang our hearts out w/ a double shot of hot damn, all the conversations that we'd had well past 4 a.m., all the bottlecaps we'd stolen from the boys. i swear i'd been to that house on 15th and daughtrey about a thousand times...so i cried because that piece of my life was over and it's something i'll never get back.

in the midst of my salty tears, appling looked at me and started singing an old hank williams' classic "there's a tear in your beer..." to which got me laughing.

and then he said the following: "come on shan, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." i don't know about you folks, but i wanted to punch him in the face. this is the kind of shit they print on bumperstickers or tell you when you're devastated over leaving your week-long summer camp at angelo state.

but you know what, this is some unbelievably infinite wisdom. i was telling someone just the other day that i had the best college experience of anyone i had ever known, and for once, i'm really not embellishing the truth. i really did.

so you know what, i'm going to smile because it happened. trust me, i've got the pictures to prove it...