my new babes!!!

as i mentioned in a previous post, i got transferred to a new department within my organization due to a new grant cycle; therefore i'm doing the same work, but i'm dealing with an entirely different age group: k-3rd! i'm a little overwhelmed right now because we've got so much going on with finishing up files, starting our summer camps, plus i'm working on a $2.5 million mentoring grant from the department of justice as an independent contractor (more on this to come i promise.) CRAZY!

what can i say, i'm so unbelievably lucky to get to spend my days with these kids...

this is what happens when you say, "give me your biggest smile!"...





some of my little girls:



sweet little mercelia.



pretty gaby.



goofing off with deenie :)



awwww love this one.



are they precious or what?!?!

do yourself a favor: buy this album!

ASHLEY MONROE. SATISFIED.

i'm officially obsessed.

if you're like me and you've been looking for a mix of emmylou harris + patsy cline + alison krauss + lee ann womack, ASHLEY'S YOUR GIRL!

PLEASE PRAY FOR THE WILSON FAMILY

there's no easy way to say this, but last week, jordan wilson (a friend of mine from baylor) took his own life. jordan was three years younger than me, so i hadn't kept up with him in awhile, but i know he must have been going through a really rough time for this to happen. i took a journalism class with jordan my senior year and i remember him being so eager to get out there and make a mark on this world. right now i'm confused and bewildered as to how a young man with so much talent and promise could go to a place this hopeless and dark.

as much as i'm feeling this way, i cannot even comprehend what his family and friends must be going through. jordan's dad is the pastor at fellowship bible church in conway, arkansas and i know that they're really struggling to grapple with all of this. i received the following email from ken (jordan's dad) and i thought i would share it with you:

Dear Friends, Family & Church,

Over the past 9 and a half years it has been my responsibility to be
there for the Body at Fellowship Conway and encourage and pray for you in difficult times. During those times I have asked you all to be open and honest about the realities of life. It is only when we have the integrity to not pretend that God and His people are able to show the grace that He has and we should be known for. Now is the time for my family to practice what "I Preach." Tuesday morning Dawn and I were informed that our 20 year old son, Jordan, took his life in his room in Waco some time Tuesday morning. We have known that Jordan was having a hard time this year at Baylor. Dawn was leaving on Wednesday to go to help Jordan move into a new apartment and come home for a few weeks before starting summer school. I do not know anything I can say to tell you how much we are hurting and how confused we are, but our faith is real. Please pray for us.

In the hands of the Almighty.

Ken

i shared this email because i thought it was such a testament to the faith and trust that this family has in God; that even in the midst of such a devastating trial, they still claim God as sovereign and in control. i think we can all learn something from this kind of sheer, difficult, tenacious spirituality. at least i can.

i ask that you please think of the wilson family this week, please pray that they may find peace and understanding. i also ask that you pray for jordan's friends who miss him and are trying to make sense of everything.

i know a lot of people are going to miss having jordan wilson in their lives. i, for one, will miss his contagious laughter, endless sense of wonder, and undeniable passion for the things that he loved.

something i'm holding on to: "for i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -romans 8:38-39

meet my sister!

paige lezlie sowder came into my life back in the winter of 1994. only nine years old at the time, i'll never forget the day that my baby sister was born. andrew had hoped he would have a baby brother and when they broke the news to him that she was indeed a girl, he burst into tears. i, on the other hand, was elated and knew my life had changed for the better! now, 15 years later, i am still so happy to have little paigey in my life.

even though paige and i are separated by a pretty incredible age gap (she'll never understand why i was so infatuated with zack morris and i'll never understand why the jonas brothers are h-o-t), i still consider her to be one of my very best friends. she and i have an unbreakable bond that has managed to hold strong through the division of long distances and inevitable sisterly misunderstandings.



why do i love her? well, for starters, she's absolutely hilarious. seriously, she's got such a quick wit and an insanely dry, intelligent sense of humor (think chelsea handler.) she tells stories that have everyone laughing until they're blue in the face! she's also fearless. paigey's not afraid of anyone or anything. while it pains me to say so, i was always more concerned with pleasing people around me and cared so much what others thought of me (still do), but not my sister. she is who she is and she owns that. if she disagrees with you, she'll tell you straight to your face, no bones about it. i still can't do that. she's one of the most confident people i've ever known and at 15, she has such a strong sense of self. she also has a very protective instinct about her and she would defend one of her friends or any member of her family until the bitter end. although i always tried to be the golfer in the family, paige has kicked her sister's tail. you've got to see this girl take a drive - amazing. she even made it to the regional tournament this year as a freshman! did i mention that she's immeausurably creative? you should see all the things she's always making/drawing/sewing - it's incredible. and she's absolutely beautiful, yet she has no idea that she is. but more than anything, there's a freedom about my sister. when speaking with her, you just know that she isn't bound by any insecurities or limitations. i know she's young and she has so much life left to experience, but that is something i hope never changes about her.



quite honestly, my little sister is the kind of girl i've always wanted to be or attempted to be, but i just couldn't quite pull it off as effortlessly as she manages to do.

baby sister, you make your older sister so very proud - glad i got to help raise that child! i love you!

i LOVE gary p. nunn!

sorry if you don't know who mr. gary p. nunn is, but he just so happens to be one of my favorite singer/songwriters! after last week's county line show, lauren and i were having such a good time that we didn't even realize we were the only people left lingering after the show. after we finally decided to leave, i spotted gary walking around by himself, so me being me, i knew that i had to introduce myself. well, we ended up talking for the next thirty minutes about his place in marble falls, his wild cats, growing up in the south plains, and being in the music business. he is THE nicest guy in the world!!!!!

trying to become older & wiser

life goes in cycles; when something begins it will inevitably end. i know this to be true, but that doesn't make it any easier. i'm coming to the close of my current grant and this week marks my last week with these kids. i'm terribly distraught about leaving them. i worry about the negative consequences that will surely arise from them having one more person who they've come to trust disappearing from their life. i worry about what is going to happen this summer when no one is doing any case management on them. i worry about letting them down. but i know i did my job and i met my goal. we reached over 150 kids on a personal, individual basis and our outcome reports are looking good. however, this week of saying goodbye is going to be rough, i'm almost about to start tearing up just writing this post....such a sap, but those kids are my life.

i decided to make all of the kids little bags of surprises and i enclosed the following letter which i wrote last night at 3 a.m. i thought it might be something good to post because no matter if you're 12 or 82, these are still some good things to keep in mind, so here ya go:


To _________________________,

It has been an absolute blast to work with you over the last four months. While I was supposed to be the one teaching you, you have taught me so much more. It has been a pleasure getting to know each of you and it is because of you that I absolutely love my job. Thank you for wanting to be leaders in your communities , schools, and homes. I have no doubt that you will be successful and courageous in whatever you choose to do.

I have created the following list of things that I've learned growing up - some the easy way, and some the very hard way. If you haven't learned anything else this semester, just take one of these things with you and I will have done my job.

1. Don’t ever forget where you came from…your roots will always keep you grounded.
2. Fear is no reason not to go forward. The things that scare you are often the most worthwhile.
3. Do well in school. An education will be your ticket to many good things.
4. Laugh at yourself. Often.
5. Character is much easier kept than regained.
6. Never underestimate the value of your family. There will come a time when they’re all you’ve got. (and family doesn’t always mean flesh & blood.)
7. Take every single chance you can to love others; especially the ones that you really don’t think you can. You’ll be amazed at what effect this has on your enemies.
8. Do not lie. The truth will always come out. Always.
9. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
10. Don’t get weighed down by not fitting in, feeling alone, or being different from everybody else. Trust me, there’s someone else feeling the same way and in 10 years nobody cares about any of this anyway.
11. Don’t think your life will start at the next stage (exp. “when I turn 16, then things will begin; when I go to college, life will finally be good; when I get married, then I’ll be happy.) Your life is happening right now.
12. Find a hobby. An activity that you enjoy doing for you and only you.
13. Be a kid! Stop worrying. You have plenty of time to be serious and grown up.
14. Find at least one friend who you can totally be yourself around.
15. Say “please” and “thank you” at every opportunity.
16. Take the time to really listen to people.
17. Always go with your gut. That feeling in the pit of your stomach and that nagging conscience is fool-proof.
18. Remember that “this too shall pass.” What seems like a monumental obstacle right now will often gain perspective in time.
19. Even when it gets extremely difficult, always try to find the best in everyone and everything. No matter what, the heart of life is good.
20. That being said, life is going to beat you up. A lot. But there’s this thing called resilience and through that you will find a strength you never knew you had.
21. Go play outside, get your knees scraped up, and breathe in some fresh air. It’ll do you good.
22. Try to remember that people will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
23. Do the right thing for the right reasons.
24. Gratitude is the foundation of happiness. Someone is always going to have more than you and someone is always going to have less than you. Once you take account of what you really have, you’ll feel so lucky.
25. Smile every day.

I'm so very proud of each and every one of you; I believe in you. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.

-Miss Shannan

the texas music trail (from my perspective)

well this week has been one heck of a week for me, so much so, that it almost seems like one big whirlwind! somehow, someway, i managed to see several live shows over the last few days and yeah it's exhausting and you almost feel as if you are on tour yourself, but it is oh-so-worth it when you love the music.

of course the highlight of everything was the county line I-10 concert. this concert series is just phenomenal and it has quickly become my favorite thing to do in s.a. the concept of it is so cool because every single wednesday night, they just pack in as many people as they possibly can into this little backyard for these amazing acoustic sets. it's not about "the smoke and the lights" (pure country anyone?); it's about ordinary people just getting together and having an absolute blast listening to some good music.

this past week, i got to see paula nelson, who i happen to think is one of the coolest chicks around! besides being the daughter of another famous nelson (i'm pretty sure you know who i'm talking about), the girl really can sing. it's got to be tough having that kind of iconic musical history before you, but paula's got her own sound and she works it. a few people at the concert told me that she reminded them of me and that's such a fantastic complement because paula nelson is WONDERFUL! i guess all i have to do now is get tatted up and learn to play the guitar and i'll be good to go...



how would you like for waylon jennings to be your godfather? pretty darn cool.



however awesome paula may be, it was the next act that really blew my mind. so i've seen stoney larue play a lot over the last 5-6 years give or take, and gosh, he's getting better and better every single time!!! the thing about stoney is that he can write a song that is so powerful that it causes you to stop your car on the side of an old dirt road, but that man works his rear end off to entertain his fans as well. i think a lot of the guys on the scene can write a good song, but no one gets a crowd going like stoney. seeing stoney play in a tiny enclosed venue is seriously one of the most religious/spiritual experiences you can have. you're soaking wet because you're sweating profusely. you inhale the aromatic fusion of marlboro lights, shiner bock beer, and that cheap perfume all the sixteen-year-old girls are wearing. you turn to your neighbor who you only met two minutes before and give them a hug as if to say, "sure is a great day to be alive." and then with stoney as the leader, you all form one passionate, zealous choir singing "forever young. forever young. may you stay forever young." take my word for it, it's like an out of body experience.



the other really cool thing that happened at that show was that i managed to get backstage (which was incredibly easy to do) and i got to talk to stoney's wife (and manager) kandace. she is an absolute doll and she is perfect for stoney! we started talking about what a close-knit community texas country music is and how everybody seems to be really supportive of each other. for instance, many of the guys are really close friends...i learned that jason boland, wade bowen, cody canada and stoney are a pretty tight circle. which, random trivia, did you know that wade & cody are married to sisters (shannon & shelby)? i agree with kandace, the makers and followers of this brand of music are just awesome people and there is a real camaraderie that exists. i've been able to really see that first hand since i've been a part of this "movement" - or whatever you want to call it - for the last 10 years. from the beginning of seeing shows out at west texas fairs all the way to working with the guys from texas music mag , i just really can't believe how big the whole thing has gotten.

anyway, caught eli young band and casey donahew band this weekend. eyb didn't disappoint, but mike eli, get over yourself and stop being so "california!" uhh i hate it. casey donahew didn't do much for me, but maybe it's because he looked like a second grade little boy coming on stage with his pressed short sleeve plaid shirt and clean-cut, gelled hair. whereas hayes carll would be the smelly, dirty, loud, crude, motorcycle driving boy that your parents would hate to see you with; casey donahew is the sweet, all-american, letter jacket wearing, all-a honor roll, student body president that would make any grandmother proud.

all in all - great shows last week!

i have to say that living in the hill country has been like a dream for me because that is where the roots and home base of this music reside (in addition to stillwater). i have been so fortunate to see so many people play around s.a. and meet so many people who share my same passion for the music. navigating post-college life isn't easy for anyone, but it was particularly difficult for me because i just felt alone and like a fish out of water most of the time. i went from living in the "mansion" with 5 girls and constantly being surrounded by people, noise, and endless options for entertainment/activity (with me being the ringleader most of the time) to moving back home, moving to mexico sans knowing anyone, moving to s.a. and knowing only one person in the whole city! this past week, magic happened. doing something that i love, encircled by my best friends from all phases of my life (the lifelong friends, the college friends, the new friends, the brand new acquaintances), i really felt like myself again - for the first time in probably a year. i guess that's what being in your element will do for you.

hope you find yours.

oh san antonio...

since i have been a resident of "the alamo city" for the last four months, i have witnessed many strange, quixotic, fascinating things about this city and its people; therefore, i have decided to create a list of my 10 most frequent observations:

1. TRAFFIC IS ABSOLUTELY DEPLORABLE. maybe it's because i've never in my life dealt with road congestion, but dangit, this is such a waste of time and a drain on my quality of life. i've been keeping up with the local politicos around town and they keep promising they will address this issue, but i'll believe it when i see it. and seriously, what moron forgot to add connectors to US 281 and Loop 1604?!?! that was just plain stupid.

2. THE SIDE OF TOWN YOU RESIDE IN DETERMINES EVERYTHING. yeah, yeah i'm sure this is common with every city - the whole "i must have this zip code to determine my existence and status" thing, but s.a. takes it to a whole new level. they completely forgo the neighborhood debate (unless you live the priveleged life of an alamo heights dweller) and have a freakin' battle royale over the northside/southside/eastside/westside. in some cases, the battle between the north and the south rivals the cival war. ok, just kidding...but there is real tension that exists there. i think i have the best of both worlds - live in the northside, work in the southside.

3. SPURS=ROYALTY. dear lord, i never saw so many people so upset a few days ago when the spurs were knocked out of the playoffs by the mavs. it was like a south texas-sanctioned day of mourning. just so you know, following the spurs here is a way of life. in fact, we don't have to dress up for work if we wear a spurs jersey on game day! crazy right? and don't even get me started on the supreme deity of the players themselves. they're immortal. all of them. their endorsements are all over this city!



4. BECAUSE THERE'S NOT A "REAL" FOOTBALL TEAM, ROADRUNNER FOOTBALL IS ALL THE RAGE. maybe it's because of the spurs' unmatched domination, but football doesn't have a presence in the city. however, apparently, that's all about to change when utsa gets a division I football team next year. it's all anybody's talking about right now, especially since larry coker is on board.



5. LOCAL COMMERCIALS ARE PRETTY TOUGH TO SIT THROUGH. once again, i think this is a commonality everywhere, but i've seen some pretty bad ones here. i don't know what kind of advertising budget fiesta dodge has, but their ad runs all the time! i think their pitchwoman is cute and even resembles a mexican version of catherine zeta jones, but this commerical is annoying!!! but nothing, i mean nothing, tops the eyerolling irritant that is the personal injury law firm commercials. maloney & maloney takes the cake on this one.

6. LOCALS DON'T INHABIT THE RIVERWALK. hard to believe, i realize, but this is a common misconception among outsiders. since i've moved here, people back home are always asking me, "well darlin', what's it like living by the riverwalk????" yes, auntie em & sheriff sonny, the riverwalk has its time and place and its own invariable charms...but those charms quickly fade when you have to pay $10 for a mediocre parking spot and get trapped among the tourists. instead, we frequent such places like this or this.

7. THERE ARE A LOT OF BABIES BEING BORN IN THIS TOWN. perhaps it's because of my job, but i have been astounded with the teen pregnancy rate here. texas can pat itself on the back for relinquishing the top spot to mississippi this year, but that doesn't mean bexar county can get off the hook. our county still ranks #1 in the state and when i visit middle schools and notice that they are equipped with day care centers utilized by students for their babies, it makes me scratch my head a little bit. but i'll stop here, for this issue deserves an entirely different post.

8. IF YOU DON'T LIKE MEXICAN FOOD, YOU'RE S.O.L. but if you do, this town is euphoric bliss. so far, i have yet to go 2 days without eating it (which also explains why this town has a severe obesity problem.) there are so many places to choose from that you could live here your whole life and never get to all of them. if you're on a budget, i prefer taqueria datapoint or taco taco, but if you're looking to keep it classy, you must check out paloma blanca (my favorite restaurant in town.) and what's a trip to s.a. without mi tierra's?



9. GEORGE STRAIT IS THE HOMETOWN HERO. oh how fitting that i should choose the place where mr. strait is a legend to settle down. though he hails from pearsall just a stone's throw away; the city of san antonio claims george as one of their own, and rightfully so, since he now takes up in the dominion. since i have been here, i have had many "strait sightings" as i like to call them - one at oak hills church, one at the george & buddy strait team roping classic, and one at the aforementioned mi tierra's. and yes, everytime my heart flutters. words cannot do justice to how grateful i feel to live in a town where radio stations have features like "strait at eight" and "jorge play of the day." ayayay that man is muy caliente.



10. AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, THERE ARE NO SHORTAGE OF SONGS ABOUT 'OL SAN ANTONE. i don't know if i was just unaware or completely oblivious, but this town must be quite the musical inspiration. every time i turn around, i hear a song about s.a. and i think i know why...there's something about this place that's so historical and so haunting that there's always a story to tell. some of my favorite tunes are: "songs about texas", "that's what i like about texas", "san antonio rose", "san antonio stroll", "san antonio girl", "anybody goin' to san antone", and "folsom prison blues."