Friday, May 1, 2009

oh san antonio...

since i have been a resident of "the alamo city" for the last four months, i have witnessed many strange, quixotic, fascinating things about this city and its people; therefore, i have decided to create a list of my 10 most frequent observations:

1. TRAFFIC IS ABSOLUTELY DEPLORABLE. maybe it's because i've never in my life dealt with road congestion, but dangit, this is such a waste of time and a drain on my quality of life. i've been keeping up with the local politicos around town and they keep promising they will address this issue, but i'll believe it when i see it. and seriously, what moron forgot to add connectors to US 281 and Loop 1604?!?! that was just plain stupid.

2. THE SIDE OF TOWN YOU RESIDE IN DETERMINES EVERYTHING. yeah, yeah i'm sure this is common with every city - the whole "i must have this zip code to determine my existence and status" thing, but s.a. takes it to a whole new level. they completely forgo the neighborhood debate (unless you live the priveleged life of an alamo heights dweller) and have a freakin' battle royale over the northside/southside/eastside/westside. in some cases, the battle between the north and the south rivals the cival war. ok, just kidding...but there is real tension that exists there. i think i have the best of both worlds - live in the northside, work in the southside.

3. SPURS=ROYALTY. dear lord, i never saw so many people so upset a few days ago when the spurs were knocked out of the playoffs by the mavs. it was like a south texas-sanctioned day of mourning. just so you know, following the spurs here is a way of life. in fact, we don't have to dress up for work if we wear a spurs jersey on game day! crazy right? and don't even get me started on the supreme deity of the players themselves. they're immortal. all of them. their endorsements are all over this city!



4. BECAUSE THERE'S NOT A "REAL" FOOTBALL TEAM, ROADRUNNER FOOTBALL IS ALL THE RAGE. maybe it's because of the spurs' unmatched domination, but football doesn't have a presence in the city. however, apparently, that's all about to change when utsa gets a division I football team next year. it's all anybody's talking about right now, especially since larry coker is on board.



5. LOCAL COMMERCIALS ARE PRETTY TOUGH TO SIT THROUGH. once again, i think this is a commonality everywhere, but i've seen some pretty bad ones here. i don't know what kind of advertising budget fiesta dodge has, but their ad runs all the time! i think their pitchwoman is cute and even resembles a mexican version of catherine zeta jones, but this commerical is annoying!!! but nothing, i mean nothing, tops the eyerolling irritant that is the personal injury law firm commercials. maloney & maloney takes the cake on this one.

6. LOCALS DON'T INHABIT THE RIVERWALK. hard to believe, i realize, but this is a common misconception among outsiders. since i've moved here, people back home are always asking me, "well darlin', what's it like living by the riverwalk????" yes, auntie em & sheriff sonny, the riverwalk has its time and place and its own invariable charms...but those charms quickly fade when you have to pay $10 for a mediocre parking spot and get trapped among the tourists. instead, we frequent such places like this or this.

7. THERE ARE A LOT OF BABIES BEING BORN IN THIS TOWN. perhaps it's because of my job, but i have been astounded with the teen pregnancy rate here. texas can pat itself on the back for relinquishing the top spot to mississippi this year, but that doesn't mean bexar county can get off the hook. our county still ranks #1 in the state and when i visit middle schools and notice that they are equipped with day care centers utilized by students for their babies, it makes me scratch my head a little bit. but i'll stop here, for this issue deserves an entirely different post.

8. IF YOU DON'T LIKE MEXICAN FOOD, YOU'RE S.O.L. but if you do, this town is euphoric bliss. so far, i have yet to go 2 days without eating it (which also explains why this town has a severe obesity problem.) there are so many places to choose from that you could live here your whole life and never get to all of them. if you're on a budget, i prefer taqueria datapoint or taco taco, but if you're looking to keep it classy, you must check out paloma blanca (my favorite restaurant in town.) and what's a trip to s.a. without mi tierra's?



9. GEORGE STRAIT IS THE HOMETOWN HERO. oh how fitting that i should choose the place where mr. strait is a legend to settle down. though he hails from pearsall just a stone's throw away; the city of san antonio claims george as one of their own, and rightfully so, since he now takes up in the dominion. since i have been here, i have had many "strait sightings" as i like to call them - one at oak hills church, one at the george & buddy strait team roping classic, and one at the aforementioned mi tierra's. and yes, everytime my heart flutters. words cannot do justice to how grateful i feel to live in a town where radio stations have features like "strait at eight" and "jorge play of the day." ayayay that man is muy caliente.



10. AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, THERE ARE NO SHORTAGE OF SONGS ABOUT 'OL SAN ANTONE. i don't know if i was just unaware or completely oblivious, but this town must be quite the musical inspiration. every time i turn around, i hear a song about s.a. and i think i know why...there's something about this place that's so historical and so haunting that there's always a story to tell. some of my favorite tunes are: "songs about texas", "that's what i like about texas", "san antonio rose", "san antonio stroll", "san antonio girl", "anybody goin' to san antone", and "folsom prison blues."

1 comment:

whyvette said...

1. dude, why in god's name have i lived here nearly all of my life and NEVER SEEN GEORGE IN THE FLESH?

2. i'm a sinner in my family because i like both the mavs and the spurs. i'm also a sinner to my north texas friends because of this.

3. jessica sent me to some career fair thing a few months back and i met ARACELI ("hey guys, araceli here!") of commerical fame. she's seriously beautiful in person. too bad about those commercials...