the life of an offshore wife

happy new year everyone!  hope you're enjoying ringing in the first few days of 2012; as for me, i am sick as a dog and alternating between my bed and a scalding hot bath tub.  unfortunately, it seems i caught the flu and it is a viscous version.  thank goodness my fever broke this morning, but i still feel achy and the only time i plan to exert any energy is the moment that my delivery of chicken noodle soup a la jason's deli arrives.  i have discovered the only thing worse than being sick...is being sick alone.  you just never really knew how good you had it when your mother was around to lay a wet rag on your head, bring up all your favorite dvd's, and wait on you hand and foot!!  unfortunately, my family is 6 hours away, my  mother-in-law is in italy, and my husband is somewhere off the coast of trinidad.  

truth be told, i am getting a little frustrated living the life of an offshore wife.  i have gladly done the drill for the last 19 months and have seldom complained; for it is the only life we've known together.  when people ask me what it's like for your husband to be gone every other month, my eyes usually light up as i quickly extoll the remarkable benefits of having "me time," traveling, spending time with friends and family, watching my horrible television shows without protest, letting the house go, my husband making good money, etc.  however, yesterday i hit a breaking point where i finally have to admit that this is hard.  

i knew it would be difficult for my husband to be gone over the holidays (he left december 6) but preparing for christmas kept me busy and we had a beautiful, white christmas in my hometown which was lovely. after returning to san antonio, i set about all my energies to preparing for my company coming into town for the alamo bowl (go baylor!) and generally speaking, i didn't have time to think about my other half missing for these occasions.  plus, the entire time we have been together, we have never spent christmas, new year's, or a birthday together so you just kind of get used to it.  i started becoming agitated after the alamo bowl because it had been four days and i hadn't heard anything from theron (typically the communication in the carribean isn't first rate + if they're running out to a rig, the phones don't work) and then came the inevitable what to do for new year's eve.  our friends were gracious enough to invite me out to see a show at floore's (and i did have a genuinely good time) but it was kind of miserable being there alone surrounded by couples clinking their champagne glasses and kissing at midnight.  never occurred to me before, but new year's eve alone might even be worse than valentine's day?  though selfishly immature, all night i kept thinking, and this is why i got married so that i wouldn't have to spend any more nights like this!  then, as aforementioned, came the great bubonic plague of 2012.  which leads me to the present, haven't heard from my husband in eight days and wishing he was home to take care of me.  

my aim for this post is not to create a "woe is me" agenda or have you feel sorry for me, but i am trying to be honest and be relatable for others who might be in this situation.  i recently had a girlfriend comment to me, "your life is just so perfect!"  and i adamantly replied, "HA! what kool-aid have you been drinking?!?"  life is certainly good, but i want to whole-heartedly dispel the myth that it is perfect. i think in any situation, you just try to do the best that you can do and focus on the positive...at least that is what i try to do.  i have decided to create somewhat of a support group for other wives that are in this same predicament where we can vent or just lend some encouragement.  i am under the assumption that military wives have something of this nature, but obviously we do not fall into this category.  i feel there is a real need for offshore family support and it is something that the companies are really lacking.  and in all reality, i know it is not a solitary situation that i face; it is an issue that every community needs to address.  when i think of all the single moms out there busting their tails to make a good life for their kids without a partner, i am in awe of their courage and endurance.  going back to the two greatest commandments, "love God and love others," it is my goal this year to do just that.  

if you are the wife of a policeman/firefighter/military personnel/offshore officer and you have any stories or advice please share!  also say a little prayer tonight for my husband that he is okay and will make it home safely.  last, but not least, cherish your family and the people you love every day.  

the christmas queen!

hope y'all had a marvelous holiday filled with friends, family, laughter and a whole lotta food!  i must say that this christmas was exceptional in every sense of the word and i feel so blessed to be surrounded by such lovely people and given the gift of baby Jesus.  isn't funny how as you get older spending time with the people you love and going home is all that you need for christmas?  one of the reasons that i love coming home is that my mama works super hard to make sure all of us kids come home to the cozy house we know and love.  for those of you who don't know my mama she is a firecracker and a little cRaZy, but i have always loved her zest for life.  when it comes to christmas, this lady leaves every square inch of space covered, no detail overlooked, and the folks at hobby lobby are friends.  this post is dedicated to my mother, who's style of warm, eclectic, homespun decor makes me as proud as a peacock! here's a little sampling:

                           

my sister is GORGEOUSSSSSSSS!

paigey got her braces off today and she looks smokin'. she is going to break so many hearts now :)

wow, do i have a lot to catch up on!

seeing as though mr. pfeifer is deer hunting with the buddies this weekend, i FINALLY have time to catch up on blogging. i have missed it so and missed reading the tales of your lives as well! there is something so wonderful about having all of these memories neatly tucked away and categorized to conjure up years down the road. i hate that i haven't been more verbal or descriptive about the past few months because they have been some of the best/most influential times of my life. i supposed i should start by reviewing our thanksgiving holidays, which were amazing.

bad part about teaching in my school district: you may end up easily putting in 12 hour days (often). good part about working in my school district: that's right, an ENTIRE week off for thanksgiving! yippee!

theron and i definitely took advantage of our mutual time off together and we almost traveled the entire state of texas in just one week. we began by staying two days in the galveston area so that theron could take his 1600 ton masters series test. i am tremendously proud of him because this is an insanely hard test, but he PASSED and now he can captain a large vessel and is getting a sweet little pay raise! woohoo! here i am watching him study in the hotel room the night before the test. i think he looks so handsome when he has that intense, determined look. and don't you just love the new stetson "gus mcrae" edition hat i just bought him?



i had never been to galveston and i must admit i had this terrible perception about the place from things i had heard, but i loved it! i thought it was such a charming little town reminiscent of new orleans and the food at guido's was fantastic. if we ever have to move there someday (which is a possibility if we stay in the maritime business) i think i shall open a little store on the strand and theron can run the old quarter.

after galveston, i made theron stop AGAIN in luling, texas at my fave truck stop in the world - BUCEE'S!!!!! if you have not experienced the greatness of bucee's, you must...they have EVERYTHING!



after galveston, we spent one night back home in san antone and then it was off again up 281 to spend a few days at the lake. we even got some fishing in and took a family portrait! not to mention, we stuffed our faces with everything from fried turkey and tamales to stuffing and pecan pie...







after the lake, we went to dallas to celebrate meme & daddo's 50th wedding anniversary and i even got to fulfill a childhood dream and visit the american girl store...ahhh so happy :) was anybody else out there OBSESSED with these dolls like i was?



after hanging out with the robertson clan in dallas, it was time to hit the road back to our homeland. i must say, i always feel a sigh of relief when we start to hit the hill country. never thought i'd say this, but it just feels like home : )

geeze louise, carrie underwood...

you sure know how to cause a tear to roll down my eye...this NEW VIDEO is so appropriate :)

meet the pfeifers

yep. the parents are meeting each other tomorrow night. wth? say a prayer for us. just so you know, i wouldn't be doing this under ANY other circumstance or for ANY other person... it must be love.

best part...my handsome man already went back to work in the oil patch, so i get the pleasure of entertaining both sets of parentals flying solo. SWEET!

God bless America!

memorial day weekend was just great. simple. family-oriented. patriotic. a hint of the promising summer that will soon commence. hope you enjoyed the weekend as much as i did!


locked my keys in my car. LAME. but i did get to have lunch w/ lauren @ the bluebonnet cafe and then she waited with me and we ate cherry pie on the back of her tailgate! love you lots!


cousins brought their ipad to the lake and now i'm convinced that i need one...although i really can't tell you the difference between the ipad and the iphone?!


i just adore cajun shrimp and crab boils. it's a very unrefined way of eating, but you can't beat it!


met this little guy at the llano texas proud festival...i wanted to take him home with me so very badly.


all day long on the boat!!!!! simply the best.

THANK YOU TO ALL U.S. MILITARY MEMBERS (BOTH PAST AND PRESENT) WHO SERVE THIS COUNTRY. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES.

happy (early) mother's day!

Every day at noon like a chapel bell
Find her Jesus keep her well
Help her do more right than wrong, at the end of the day
I've got five good gears and a tank of gas,
50 watts and Johnny Cash
A guitar and a broken heart
Just full of things to say

You taught me how to stand those tests and trials
But you can't see a desert sunrise in the Bible

She loves me more than anything
And she wants the world for me
Her west dropped off in El Paso
And her north in Abilene
Mama I'm okay out here
I've seen how hard the world can be
My step is sure and I know my name
I'M STRONG JUST LIKE YOU PRAYED I'D BE
I'M STRONG JUST LIKE YOU PRAYED I'D BE

If I had done what you and daddy'd done
I would have never lost and never won
Or gotten myself kicked when I was down
I would not know how to travel well
A hundred bucks and cheap motels
I would not know how to fight for my own heart next time around

Don't you cry another night about me
In this city I've got angels all around me

She loves me more than anything
And she wants the world for me
Her west dropped off in El Paso
And her north in Abilene
Mama I'm okay out here
I've seen how hard the world can be
My step is sure and I know my name
I'M STRONG JUST LIKE YOU PRAYED I'D BE
I'M STRONG JUST LIKE YOU PRAYED I'D BE

I FELT IT EVERY TIME YOU PRAYED FOR ME
I'M STRONG JUST LIKE YOU PRAYED I'D BE

-miranda lambert, "mama, i'm alright"

i thought if i could touch this place...

as you know, this song has really meant a lot to me. it came out during a time in my life where i just really, really understood it. dug through some old photographs with the grandmothers last night and put this little thing together. maybe i'll show it to mama this mother's day.

more one horse town tales...

let me tell you about my day yesterday. once again, i realize you won't be hanging off the edge of your seat to read about life in rural lubbock county, but hot damn...i forgot how good of writing material all of these characters were!

the day started with me visiting my 92-year-old great grandmother on 6th street. astonishingly, she still lives by herself in the same home she's owned for decades, but i was forewarned that her senility had rapidly increased since the last time i had seen her. sure enough, when i got to her house, she scolded me for letting the aliens come in and asked me how living in the mountains has been. i had lunch with her and then we got into bed and watched the news while i painted her toenails with opi "i'm not really a waitress." she tried to use the remote to place phone calls, she kept telling me that we needed to get the kids ready for school, and then she wanted me to listen to all of her gospel cassette tapes. when i announced that i had to leave, she shouted, "well don't you go up to the church dressed like a scallywag!" i smiled, same old mamaw...she never thought bare shoulders were becoming for chaste purity. (i'll have you know i was wearing a sky blue, strapless sundress from j. crew...but that woman is olllllllld school southern baptist.) i turned to walk out the door and when i looked over my shoulder, she winked and said, "don't stay gone so long next time." oh no, please don't let this be some kind of sign for the prophecy that i will make my prodigal return back to settle in this town...

after this encounter, i made my way just one block over to 7th street to see my maternal grandmother, susie q. she wanted to take me up to driscoll's pharmacy to look at "all the new homewares they had just gotten in!" after we shopped the 4 short aisles, meme insisted that i let her charge me something to her account since she never gets to buy me anything. we drove around town for a bit so she could show me the houses of the new families and then we went and got cokes at the dixie dog drivein. granddad tommy called while we were on our little venture and asked if we'd go to the grocery store to get some blackberry jam. when we walked through the swinging doors to two j's thriftway, meme whispered (rather loudly) "shannan, come here!!! they have beer in here now...CANNNN YOU BALEEEEEVE THAT? we have BEEEEEEEEER in the grocery store!" back history, lubbock county has been a dry county since the beginning of time and the alcohol prop. just passed last year...you should hear all the old timers talk about how the town is turning into pottersville, but then there are others (won't mention any names) who rather like the convenience of tj's liquor hut, rather than driving out to the strip.

after meme's i went three blocks further on 7th street to pay a visit to my paternal grandmother, frances. i'm sure you've heard stories about frances, she's legendary. before i could even sit down, she said, "get in the car! we're goin' down to the cemetery so that you can help me with a little project." you should know that my grandmother takes great pride in maintaining the nicest burial plot in the cemetery. both her young son and beloved husband are buried there in their own little garden and it's important to her that it always looks in tip-top shape. i helped her with the flowers and then we touched up the gold paint on the headstones...she very proudly showed me her own headstone which is already in place "frances catherine sowder. smithville, texas. april 3, 1933 - " as if that dash was just lingering there, i said, "doesn't that freak you out?" "heck no, i made peace with death a long time ago sugar."

continuing on from the cemetery, she filled up my car with gas at the coop gin (she still holds a membership to this very day!) and then she treated me to a blizzard at the dairy queen for all of my intensive labor. while we're sitting there reminiscing, she pulls out a hand-held tape recorder and says, "i've chosen you to record my oral history. you're the writer, i want you to do it." "well okay, grandmother, if you say so...but are you tryin' to say goodbye or somethin'?" "no shannan, i've just led a very interesting life and i want your kids to know about it!!" "well, yes ma'am" i pressed record on the tape recorder and started jotting down a few notes and in the middle of dairy queen, she just lays it all out there:

"well, the first thing i'd like to let everybody know is that even though you all think i'm a country housewife with six kids, i was once a very sophisticated lady. i fought your grandad tooth and nail to move out here on these dusty plains. of course you knew i grew up in smithville, texas. i was a smithville tiger! just like in hope floats, you remember? did i ever tell you my little girlfriend grew up in the house where that movie was filmed, they renovated the whole thing for her after the movie was finished...anyway back to the story. i was a hot young thang in smithville. lord have mercy, i went to the dancehalls and honkytonks every single night and always had a young man on my arm. and i want you to know, i don't regret any of it! i don't care who knows it, i wouldn't do anything differently. we loved the boys from the university of texas and bergstrom airforce base the best...especially the ones that could jitterbug. then, you know, i got a job as a telephone operator at southwestern bell with wilma. wilma was dating danny at the time and they were tryin to fix me up with danny's childhood best friend and ut law school buddy. i told them, "well, he can get in line, because i have a lot of suitors!" [my grandmother is not modest when it comes to being the object of pursuit in her heyday.] well would you know that after two weeks with your grandfather, i just cut everything off with every other young man...everything!" transcript to be continued...

oh won't you please take me home!

had some time off, so i decided to go home to good 'ol shallowater, texas for a few days (and yes, the grass is green and the girls are pretty.) i don't ever go home except for a few days for thanksgiving/christmas, thus it's a pretty big deal. i've been really convicted lately that i need to start spending more time up here. for one thing, nobody's gettin' any younger and for another, life in this part of the world just runs at a completely different pace. there's nothing flashy or glamorous about it, (biggest thing to happen in town is that we just got our first dollar general yesterday!!!) but somehow, i think these people are on to something. it's as if they know a closely guarded secret that the rest of the world is desperately searching for...they know that life's not about chasin' the cash flow or being somebody "important"...it's about treating people with respect, lending a hand to your neighbor when he's in trouble, taking your grandkids out to the farm, living within your means, finding pleasure and contentment in simple things, just being satisfied with what you've been given.

i will be the first to admit that there have been times in my life when i've gotten away from that...stubbornly (and erroneously) thought i needed something more, something better. however, the 100% honest-to-God truth is, that lifestyle and that type of character (which is quickly eroding in our society) is something that i pine for. i just don't care about the world's measures of success anymore...i've played that game for so freakin' long. graduate in the top 10 percent (valedictorian or salutatorian if you really want to impress), join every club imaginable (and be the president of all of them!), go to college and graduate with honors, make the dean's list, join more organizations and acquire more leadership positions, build build build the resume, work for a senator, work the room, get the IRA, invest in the 401k, gain some equity, and dangit move on up!!!

most of you wiser, older souls already know this, but for those of you who don't...at the end of the day, all of that "stuff" amounts to absolutely nothing. funny (and lamentable) how long it takes for some of us to figure out that life isn't about what you do, but it's about who you are.

i'll leave you with some john cougar mellencamp lyrics and some photos from shooting with the cagles yesterday.

well i was born in a small town. and i live in a small town. probably die in a small town. oh those small communities.

all my friends are so small town. my parents live in the same small town. my job is so small town. provides little opportunity - hey!

educated in a small town. taught to fear Jesus in a small town. used to daydream in that small town. another born romantic that's me. but i've seen it all in a small town. had myself a ball in a small town.

no i cannot forget where it is that i come from. i cannot forget the people who love me. yeah, i can be myself here in this small town. and people let me be just what i want to be.


little jake...breakin' hearts and shootin' bbs...best mutton buster i've ever seen!!!


john gettin' our target ready...


best shot in the family right there.


oh i do love the feel of a 9mm semi-automatic!!!!

*note to readers, i do fire guns a lot, but we advocate for strong gun safety and as dad says, "make no assumptions about an unloaded gun."

take me to the lake...

because that place soothes my soul. it always has and it always will. peace and tranquility abound in marble falls, texas. the sound of rain on a tin roof with the mixture of cleansing fresh air, the music of van morrison and not a billboard in sight is pure bliss. not to mention those gorgeous, gorgeous bluebonnets...everyone swears this is the finest bluebonnet season we've seen in years.

i love you hank williams jr., but i think i'm gonna change the words to your song: if heaven ain't a lot like THE TEXAS HILL COUNTRY, then i don't wanna go. ;)


uncle tom (field & stream's archetypical protagonist) and one of his catches for the day. would you believe that those buffalo fish were swarming all around our boat?!


another cat we caught. oh my lanta, i do love to fish. i have NEVER ever understood that brad paisley song, "i'm gonna miss her." heck, my man better like to fish as much as i do!!!


told you it was pretty.


i'm sorry i'm like a toddler and i like to take cheesy pics in bluebonnet fields...it's just what i do.

hope you had a fantastic easter weekend surrounded by your friends and family, but more importantly, hope you were able to see that God is so good and we are so unbelievably blessed to receive His sacrificial love and unmerited favor.

sowder kids on christmas morning...

and yes, we had a white christmas!

there's no place like...

just walked in the door from having been in west texas for the last five days. i'm feeling very melancholy about the whole thing. i love my life in san antonio and i'll be the first to admit that the lush beauty of the hill country makes the barren, isolated lands of the llano estacado look even more grim...but gosh, i love the panhandle. with the exception of a 24 hour stop back in july, i haven't been back in almost a year and it was so good for my soul to get back to that place. i can't help but think of miranda's lambert's song "the house that built me," because the lyrics of that song could not be more true for me. that house on 8th street and that town built me. i can leave and go my own way, but i always have to go back to get a sense of who i really am again.

i'll leave you with some mementos from my voyage up to shallowater. dangit mac davis, i thought happiness was lubbock, texas in my rearview mirror too.





talkin' cotton yield and land appraisals with my grandad tommy dale.


dad's side of the fam.


this is my crazy, catholic, fun-lovin' side of the family...


i even have a 75-year-old grandmother who raps!


the granddaughters.


biker chicks.


my parents.


the fam minus andy who was @ the bu/ttu game at texas stadium.

give thanks

since thanksgiving is tomorrow, i think i owe it to the holiday and to myself to state that i'm just so thankful for the things in my life.

i have been given so, so much and when i really stop and take stock of it all, i am astounded. i'm not talking about material bs either; as i get older, i realize that none of that matters so much. in fact, i'm learning that when you own a lot of stuff it can almost be enslaving. what i'm thankful for this year is all so much more than that:

a) i'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ. He's been so faithful to me this year. i have leaned on Him and i have sought after Him and He's proven time and time again that He's in control. i have learned the true meaning of romans 5:3-5 in that it's absolutely true that "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
b) i'm thankful for my family. my family is an unwavering system of support and love and i am so thankful for each and every one of them. you don't have any choice in regards to what family you're born into, so i know that i am fortunate to have this family of mine - i'm going to try to be more conscious of that.
c) i'm thankful for my friends. my friends are just good, good people. you know this old song? i don't know what i did to deserve it, but that's the kind of people they are. couldn't do it without 'em.
d) i'm thankful for lessons learned. i always learn them the hard way, but that wisdom gained is invaluable.

it's true, life is just good. i'm happy and i'm at peace with where i'm at on this journey.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!


thanksgiving with my kiddos (who i'm also INFINITELY thankful for.)

my dad is pretty much amazing...

they ran this story in today's paper and i had to share it with you because i'm one proud daughter! my dad is so smart, so wise, and he has an iron-clad sense of integrity. when i called to tell him congratulations about the article, he replied, "oh shan, it's a slow news day. they had nothing else going on." that man is self-deprecating to the end.

you know i love you dad, but sometimes i think you've been detrimental to my view of men. i've always expected them to be like you and so far, they're not.

today's daddy's birthday!

william charles, we're so glad you've made it to 50! i'd say you've succeeded...

holy smokes! my parents have been married 25 years!

in light of the fact that today officially marks bill & sheri's silver wedding anniversary, i thought i'd pay tribute to the best couple i know. (yeah, so what, i'm biased.)



it all began with a chance encounter at the idalou, texas dairy mart back in 1977. though they had known of each other for years, my grandmother wouldn't dare consider letting my mamma date that "older catholic boy!!!!" however, persistence prevailed and he became the only boy she's ever been with in her entire life. (note to parents: you would've never let yours truly date a 17-year-old having barely turned 14! just sayin...)



daddy went off to a&m, but still, he only had eyes for that little high school girl. how they made it through all of that i don't know. i know he tried to transfer to texas tech several times so that he could be closer to her, but granddad madison wouldn't let him.



after seven years of dating, they finally decided to get hitched. hope the engagement photo will suffice, sure wish i could show you a wedding photo....you would laugh your head off, i promise. they had a - what else? - old south wedding, complete with parasols and hoop skirts.



as newlyweds, they were unexpectedly greeted by the arrival of their first baby, but it didn't take long to realize that baby girl was the apple of their eye. though more children would come, she would always be the most special. hahahaha



it became quite clear that the little princess was becoming too egocentric, so they gave her a little brother.



although the little brother sure was nice, they really blessed her when they gave her a little sister. now she finally had someone to turn into her little protege.



and somehow, after raising those three crazy children and various other mishaps, those two kids are still in love. congratulations B&S! you make monogamy, getting old, and the ball and chain look good.