the life of an offshore wife

happy new year everyone!  hope you're enjoying ringing in the first few days of 2012; as for me, i am sick as a dog and alternating between my bed and a scalding hot bath tub.  unfortunately, it seems i caught the flu and it is a viscous version.  thank goodness my fever broke this morning, but i still feel achy and the only time i plan to exert any energy is the moment that my delivery of chicken noodle soup a la jason's deli arrives.  i have discovered the only thing worse than being sick...is being sick alone.  you just never really knew how good you had it when your mother was around to lay a wet rag on your head, bring up all your favorite dvd's, and wait on you hand and foot!!  unfortunately, my family is 6 hours away, my  mother-in-law is in italy, and my husband is somewhere off the coast of trinidad.  

truth be told, i am getting a little frustrated living the life of an offshore wife.  i have gladly done the drill for the last 19 months and have seldom complained; for it is the only life we've known together.  when people ask me what it's like for your husband to be gone every other month, my eyes usually light up as i quickly extoll the remarkable benefits of having "me time," traveling, spending time with friends and family, watching my horrible television shows without protest, letting the house go, my husband making good money, etc.  however, yesterday i hit a breaking point where i finally have to admit that this is hard.  

i knew it would be difficult for my husband to be gone over the holidays (he left december 6) but preparing for christmas kept me busy and we had a beautiful, white christmas in my hometown which was lovely. after returning to san antonio, i set about all my energies to preparing for my company coming into town for the alamo bowl (go baylor!) and generally speaking, i didn't have time to think about my other half missing for these occasions.  plus, the entire time we have been together, we have never spent christmas, new year's, or a birthday together so you just kind of get used to it.  i started becoming agitated after the alamo bowl because it had been four days and i hadn't heard anything from theron (typically the communication in the carribean isn't first rate + if they're running out to a rig, the phones don't work) and then came the inevitable what to do for new year's eve.  our friends were gracious enough to invite me out to see a show at floore's (and i did have a genuinely good time) but it was kind of miserable being there alone surrounded by couples clinking their champagne glasses and kissing at midnight.  never occurred to me before, but new year's eve alone might even be worse than valentine's day?  though selfishly immature, all night i kept thinking, and this is why i got married so that i wouldn't have to spend any more nights like this!  then, as aforementioned, came the great bubonic plague of 2012.  which leads me to the present, haven't heard from my husband in eight days and wishing he was home to take care of me.  

my aim for this post is not to create a "woe is me" agenda or have you feel sorry for me, but i am trying to be honest and be relatable for others who might be in this situation.  i recently had a girlfriend comment to me, "your life is just so perfect!"  and i adamantly replied, "HA! what kool-aid have you been drinking?!?"  life is certainly good, but i want to whole-heartedly dispel the myth that it is perfect. i think in any situation, you just try to do the best that you can do and focus on the positive...at least that is what i try to do.  i have decided to create somewhat of a support group for other wives that are in this same predicament where we can vent or just lend some encouragement.  i am under the assumption that military wives have something of this nature, but obviously we do not fall into this category.  i feel there is a real need for offshore family support and it is something that the companies are really lacking.  and in all reality, i know it is not a solitary situation that i face; it is an issue that every community needs to address.  when i think of all the single moms out there busting their tails to make a good life for their kids without a partner, i am in awe of their courage and endurance.  going back to the two greatest commandments, "love God and love others," it is my goal this year to do just that.  

if you are the wife of a policeman/firefighter/military personnel/offshore officer and you have any stories or advice please share!  also say a little prayer tonight for my husband that he is okay and will make it home safely.  last, but not least, cherish your family and the people you love every day.