yeah that’s right, it’s time to go back out to the shed and investigate this ever-evolving, ever-present breed. at this point, you might be thinking, “this girl sure does write about gigolo gym rats and alpha squared males a lot…maybe she secretly harbors an inner adulation for them!” WRONG. quiet self confidence and humility = INCREDIBLY attractive. thinking you’re God’s gift to women = INCREDULOUS look of disgust.
i am reopening this can of worms because this past weekend, i had some encounters that have upped the ante so to speak.
it all started this last saturday night when i attended a birthday party for one of my friends at a local restaurant. we had an excellent time, but apparently i was totally out of the loop because i wasn’t aware that “the adonis” was in our presence. it appears that not only was i supposed to know that one of the birthday guests was a gold medal winner at the vancouver olympics (i won’t give away which sport – it rhymes with mob-fled), but i was also supposed to be mind-blowingly, astonishingly impressed enough to be a groupie. under ordinary circumstances, i would be imminently impressed with this feat, but when one has to be so in-your-face about it, i’m sorry, i’m just not.
the girls at the other end of the table and i started discussing this matter and told one ridiculous, highly-entertaining story after the next about egomaniacs. i hope my friend doesn’t mind me sharing this story, but I thought it was pretty darn amusing. don’t have permission to use her name yet, so we’ll call her T. T (a beautiful, outgoing, fun-loving girl) went out on a date with a presumably respectable guy. as they sat down to dinner, the guy had the cojones to tell her, “look darlin’, before you and i get anything started here, i need to know that you’re going to be comfortable with my celebrity. being the game warden in this county, well it’s a lot of hard work, and well, people know me around here. at any point in time at this restaurant, someone could come up and say hi. i really have a reputation around here, are you going to be comfortable dating a public figure?” HAHAHAHAHA. laughing my head off at this point in the story…poor, sweet T.
as for an update on the bradley favre spawn, well, i’ve nipped it in the bud…i’d rather just have a bottle of his cologne. hey, i tried to be open-minded about things….oh you’re 30 and you have a beirut table on your front porch? how vintage, and what a sociable guy! oh you failed out of junior college? college isn’t for everyone you know, i just love that entrepreneurial spirit! oh you’re going to be in vegas, lake tahoe, los angeles, and miami beach over the next four weekends? how nice to have such a flexible job working in the family business AND you love traveling – ME TOO!
funny how we have this way of twisting things to mean what we want them to mean.
unfortunately, there’s not a pretty, half-hearted justification one can make when one of mr. fancy pantz’s lifelong friends adamantly warns, “look, all i’m saying is that if i had daughters, there’s no way i’d let him touch them with a ten foot pole.”
enough said. oh yeah, mr. fancy pantz, i lied about loving your new custom made boots…they were a tad bit too liberace for me.
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