the perils of a single girl: part II

three posts in one night? i'm on a roll! i figured i would dispose more of my "wisdom" on the male species (which is basically none) as i sit out on my porch and enjoy this starry, starry night.

tonight's post consists of tackling prototype dimwit. dimwit [noun] - slang stupid or slow-thinking person.

no, do not be confused...mr. dimwit is not the same as mr. toolbox (mentioned in part I.) they very well may be of the same family tree, but both are distantly related (think second cousin.) generally speaking, TB's tend to be quite intellectual and sharp, 99% of them having received a legit private school education; they just use their mind for evil or the relentless pursuit of being a patrick bateman wannabe. poor dimwits never stood a chance. in the defense of the dimwit, i will ALWAYS prefer the man who is guilty of ignorance over the man who's detriment is pride.

STRONG NOTE OF WARNING: if you find yourself in the arms of a dimwit/toolbox combo (think brody jenner) RUN LIKE THE WIND!!! remember ladies, TB + DW = no hope.

going on a date with a dimwit can be quite fun, but it lacks any kind of mental stimulation. quite often, DWs are incredibly handsome. if you've ever been guilty of taking the good looking guy to prom/dance/sorority function because somehow you thought the pictures would turn out better, yet the night was incredibly ho-hum...you were in the presence of a DW. a DW attracts with his aw chucks charm and his tantalizing smile, but leaves you with an "are you serious?" look in your eye when he determinedly asks you what all the fuss is about haiti and why you think there's a song about jimmy cracked corn if no one cares? (that really happened.) come on, it wouldn't be fair to be that pretty AND have a stratospherically high IQ now would it?

the problem with DW's are that they can only keep you occupied for so long. once you get over the 6'5'' height and big, brown eyes, you're left in a sea of grammatically nightmarish text messages and emails, constantly having to dumb down your lexicon, and worst of all - EXTREME BOREDOM!

since men are such visual creatures, i don't think they let this impediment get to them much (if at all), but i'm a chick who craves verbal banter and current events convos, not to mention a man who has some genuine ambition (that is soooo fine.)



*i should note that the posts in this series are satirical in nature and are not meant to generalize all men. the author loves men! and also realizes that she has a few deplorable character traits too...