i apologize for letting "southern comfort" get a little dusty; i haven't been myself lately and therefore, i haven't felt like writing much. however, i finished a good book tonight and it spoke to me so much so that i had to tell you about it. the book i'm referring to is "cash," the autobiography by johnny.
i'd started reading it months ago, but always put it aside for other literary material, never making a real effort to polish it off. when i moved to the new apartment, i found it in the bottom of a box of books and picked it back up tonight. i just turned the last page only moments ago and already i feel melancholy that this particular journey with johnny has ended.
you see, i'm no ordinary cash fan. i'm like a student. i study everything about this man. in fact, this is now my fourth book to read about/by him. i think he's truly the most fascinating person - sinner. saint. poet. writer. rebel. abuser. christian. legend. he was such a tortured, battered soul, yet there was a real transcendent peace about him. despite his own personal demons and the toll they took on the people he loved, i believe he was such a good man.
actually, you know what, i think i'll probably name a son after him someday. when people say, "boy, why is your name cash? that's a funny name." he'll just shrug his shoulders and say, "i don't know? my mamma was always talkin' about this man named johnny cash and she figured it was as honorable a name as any to have."
i suppose i love johnny for several reasons. a) he was a country boy to the bone:
"inside me, my boyhood feels so close, but when i look around, it sometimes seems to belong to a vanished world. are there still places where a young boy can leave his house after breakfast with just a fishing pole and spend the whole day rambling and adventuring alone, unsupervised and unafraid, trusted and un-feared for? Perhaps there are, but I suspect otherwise. i think country life as i knew it may be a thing of the past and when people talk about being "country," they don't mean they know or even care about the land and the life it sustains and regulates. i wonder how many of those people ever filled a cotton sack."
"i love to dig in the dirt. i like to work in the fields. i come up here and i wear an old straw hat, no shirt, no shoes. i live the life of a country boy. i love to and i need to."
b) the man is utterly unapologetic about his faith:
"abc didn't like it. they told me i really oughtn't be talking about God and Jesus on network television. i told them that they were producing the wrong man here, because gospel music - music about the good news of Jesus Christ - is part of what i am and part of what i do. i don't cram anything down people's throats, but neither do i make any apologies about it. so don't worry about me mentioning Jesus, God, or moses or whoever else i decide to mention in the spiritual realm. if you don't like it, deal with it."
"when i spoke out about my faith, i didn't set out to prove myself. i didn't have to, because i'd been acting according to my belief before i spoke up, getting my spiritual high by singing gospel songs and trying, despite my many faults and my continuing attraction to all seven deadly sins, to treat my fellow man as Christ would. there never was any dividing line between the johnny cash of yesterday, today, or tomorrow."
c) he got to do some incredible things with some incredible people in his lifetime:
"i'd started up an informal tradition of "guitar pulls" in the big round room overlooking the lake, evenings when my favorite songwriters were encouraged to show up and we'd all sit around in a big circle and show each other what we had. kris kristofferson sang "me and bobby mcgee" for the first time on one of those nights, and joni mitchell "both sides now." graham nash sang "marrakesh express" and shel silverstein "a boy named sue." bob dylan let us hear "lay lady lay." guy clark came, and rodney crowell and billy joe shaver and harlan howard and everybody, just everybody."
"i'd met all the presidents over the last six decades and each had their own personal charm. bill clinton had the ability to make you feel like you were the only person in the room when he was talking to you. gerald ford and nixon had that same gift of focus too - and being with george bush was like spending time with an old friend from home, talking about hunting in the texas hill country."
d) when times arise that i don't believe in love - the everlasting kind - i listen to him talk about june, and i believe in it again.
"theologically, june and i are on even ground, but she's a prayer warrior and i'm not. she's so good at it, in fact, that sometimes i catch myself thinking that, well, maybe i don't have to pray, because she's praying for me. which of course is not a healthy idea and demonstrates one of the reasons she needs to pray so hard for me."
"i wish the whole world could know how great she is. she's smart and she's brilliant. she's got a great personality. she's easy to live with, because she makes it a point to be so. she's loving. she's sharing. the main thing, though, is that she loves me and i know it. i used to take advantage of that - because i knew she loved me, i could get away with more - but again, that's not a healthy idea, and it demonstrates one of the reasons why she needs to love me so much. june is formidable, she's my solid rock. she's my spark plug. she's got charm, she's got brains, she's got style, and she's got class."
"june is my life's companion. she's very loving, especially with me, and very kind - there are people who can be loving, but not kind, but she's loving and kind. she's a good woman. she's got standards. she's got tradition. she's got dignity. she and i have become so very close, so intimate. i think it might be because of all her prayer. i never see her praying, though, or at least when it's not obvious....but i know that's what she's doing all the time."
"june really found an appreciation among the young people too. one night after she came off stage in england, a nineteen-year-old covered in tattoos and piercings, tapped her on the shoulder and said, "mrs. cash, you really kick ass." when she's feeling down or discouraged i like to remind her of that and so i'll say, "mrs. cash, don't worry about it. you kick ass."
"so yes, we're close. whenever i face a professional decision i always put it to her and get her opinion, because i know she'll be both honest and objective with me - she's always the first to know about everything in my life. she's never judgmental. she's become everything that a wife should be, in my mind. we sleep together, we play together, we travel together, we work together, and we've found our particular place where we totally belong, in every avenue of endeavor."
TELL ME, JOHNNY CASH, DO THEY MAKE 'EM LIKE YOU ANYMORE?!?????
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