something to chew on

have you ever walked into church on a sunday morning to find that the message being preached was absolutely, positively, unquestionably intended for your own two ears to hear? sure, you probably find yourself sitting in a pew for several good reasons, and any sermon can be deemed advantageous or beneficial to its listener; but what i'm referring to is the all consuming, hit-you-deep-in-the-gut, penetrating sermon that makes you think, "wow. obviously, this is not coincidental."

these were actually my own thoughts this very morning.

the morning didn't start off great, keep in mind. i was running late and story of my life - couldn't find anything to wear since all of my clothes were covering my floor. it had even entered my mind to postpone church, but i had promised my friend that i would go with her to the early service and i didn't want to seem flaky. so as i entered the great doors of community bible church (shameless plug), my expectations were mediocre at best.

after an awesome time of worship, as always, our pastor began asking the congregation questions like, "do you believe in God?, do you believe in your salvation? do you believe that God is in control of your life?, etc." and asked everyone to raise their hands if our answer was yes. well...ummm...yeah, we're all sitting in church so of course we all (or most of us anyway) believe those fundamental things. then he said, "precisely. you believe all of those things, but do you trust them? because folks, you've got to understand the difference between belief and trust."

over the course of the next hour, pastor emmitt began laying out a very simple, yet complex message: faith is nothing without trust.

throughout the message, proverbs 3:5-6 was used and oh how i love that old standby. was anybody else out there forced to participate in the old rite of passage known as "bible drill?" i have no idea if kids even do it anymore, but it was this torturous, anxiety-ridden bible competition where, as an 11-year-old child, you were expected to memorize over 100 verses, locate any book in the bible, and find any key passage under an insane time limit. mamma made me do it year after year (and i detested her for it), but the good news is, i'm able to conjure up bible verses at the drop of a hat! sorry, y'all know i'm prone to getting off topic...

back to that verse(s), it goes something like this, "TRUST in the lord with all your HEART, and lean not on your OWN understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

there's that "trust" word again. what does it mean and why is it so freakin' hard for me?

answer to question 1: trust [truhst] -noun 1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing. 2. confident expectation of something.

answer to question 2: a little bit more difficult to assess. barring myself from intensive therapy or psychoanalysis, i'm going to go out on a limb and say that it's pretty much the same for all of us across the board. at one time in our lives we trusted in something (or someone) and we got burned. badly. irrevocably. painfully burned. therefore, you harden yourself and you fortify your walls like ft. knox because no one is ever going to make you feel like that again. one of several problems that comes from banishing vulnerability and denying child-like innocence?

...eventually, you can become so world-weary and jaded that even trusting the Lord Almighty seems like an impossible task.

now, i haven't personally gone to that level yet, but i do experience doubt, fear, and insecurity; therefore, those things create a breeding ground for mistrust. the cool thing that i learned today was that, unlike people of this world - and myself, God is described as "one with whom there is never the slightest variation or shadow of inconsistency." (james 1:17) steadfast reliability and loyal fidelity? sign me up...

also, we are promised that "SURELY, goodness and mercy shall follow me ALL the days of my LIFE; and I will DWELL in the house of the LORD FOREVER." (psalms 23:6) i just love this, because a) the word surely connotes 100%; not maybe, not possibly, not somehow. SURELY. b) all the days of my life? that means forever. that means you will never go one day of your life without God pursuing you. c) dwell in the house of the lord? i'd say that's a good place to be.

so again, i ask myself, what would it look like in my life to not just believe, but to all-out trust? to put that truth into practice so that every event, every tragedy, every prayer that came my way would be faced with an unshakeable conviction that God is in control and completely trustworthy?

i'll let you know, because i intend to find out.

*if you have any helpful tips, life experiences, recommended reading on this topic - please feel free to share. i'd love to know your thoughts.